Stress
Dr. Sara Tancredi was running late. She had been dealing with an emergency cut, that looked suspiciously like a small stab wound, that had thrown her off track. 'It seems like all I do now is get thrown off track,' she noted to herself with a sigh. The riot had shaken her up, and even now, two days later, she was feeling the effects. She had gotten no more than an hour or two of sleep since then, and she was exhausted. Not for lack of trying mind you, that she had tried, but she had only ended up laying in bed for a couple hours running alternate scenarios through her head. What if Michael hadn't have been there? Or come to late? How did he even know how to find me? Why do I even trust him?
The days had passed slowly and she had been slowly building up stress with her fatigue. The prison was like a time bomb, just waiting for something meaningless to blow it up. The infirmary hadn't been as busy as it could have been, which she thanked her lucky stars for every hour. Cons were trying to conserve what little energy and strength they could, in the event that something else should happen.
All of a sudden, she realized she was just waiting in the hall. She had found herself daydreaming like this more than a few times in the past few days and she wasn't entirely sure why. Picking up the pace to save lost time, she grabbed a few more files and headed for her appointment with Michael.
He was standing on the far side of the room, staring out at the yard. Suddenly, he heard the door behind him squeak and turned. She strode into the room, dropping most of her files on her desk, and turning to face him. After nodding a breathless hello, she turned to prepare his syringe.
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Michael noted the dark circles under her eyes, and the small lines of red in them. Her hair was strewn back, pulled into a ponytail, but with a few strands escaping. It didn't matter to him though, nothing could change perfection.
"Hello, yourself" He gave a small smile with his greeting, attempting humour. He knew that she didn't know, how he knew, about the ventilation shafts, and that it bothered her. He was sorry, but he still needed to think of his brother. She barely acknowledged him, smiling slightly, but turning into more of a mild grimace.
"Didn't know I was that bad of company," he tried to joke, adding a small smile. She gave a small shrug, and as she neared him, he felt the sadness, and stress surrounding her. He was worried, he couldn't help it. She had been back to work the day after the riot. She hadn't taken a break since then, and appeared to be extremely worn-out. Her personality was different, her attitude had changed, something was wrong.
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She swabbed his arm without making eye contact, and turned her back to him again. In the back of her mind she realized that she was letting him in, even with her cold demeanor, she was letting him in. By acting different then normal, she was telling him something, and he was smart enough to pick up on it. She didn't want help, she really didn't want counselling, she just wanted to finish work and go home.
Suddenly, without realizing it, she was about to give him his shot, moving through the motions so mechanically she had zoned out. Now that scared her. If it had been anyone in that room with her, other than Michael, she could be dead right now, and that was reality. She panicked.
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Michael had sat quietly, noticing she wasn't quite there, but not interrupting her. If simply to enjoy being in her presence, he was more than willing to be able to sit and stare at her without anyone questioning it. Suddenly everything he had been sensing about her changed and was replaced by the unmistakable feeling of fear. He started, as she turned to look at him, almost scared.
"What's wrong? What happened?" He had been there the whole time, nothing had swooped in and scared her or anything, but he couldn't figure out what was wrong. Abruptly, the syringe fell from her hand, and she clutched her chest.
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In her head, her thoughts swirled at a break neck pace. Everything around her had dissolved into a meaningless soup of colours and sounds. She couldn't breathe. It felt as if someone had closed off her airway, leaving her to breathe through a straw. Her chest tightened, and pain reached through her entire torso, as something squeezed her heart into a thick pulp. The events of the past few days, the stress of sleepless nights, and the constant tension of her work descended on her in the span of a few seconds. She began drown in the waves of fear she now felt, and half fell onto the medical bed, grabbing it for support. Her world had descended into chaos and the soup turned into a throbbing, blindly array of lights she could neither identify nor slow down.
All at once, she felt something take hold of her shoulder, grounding her. Gravitating towards the one solid thing in her world she tried to focus on it. It was her escape rope, the only lead out of this unearthly place. Time stretched to an eternity in seconds, and she reached even harder for the one rock in her ocean. With the stillness came a voice, reaching into her and slowly pulling at her senses.
"Sara." The voice was calm and solid, interrupting the haze. Her world still spun, but slowed a little, halting at the sound.
"Sara, just slow your breathing down. Focus on me, just slow it down." Trusting the voice, she focused on her lungs. She was still breathing through a straw, but the straw was wider now, and her vision cleared a bit. The grip on her shoulder tightened, holding her solidly. Her vision, and senses, came back in a rush. The grip on her shoulder, she found was a hand. Glancing up, she realized Michael was behind her now, that it was he who was her grounding force. His hand still rested on her shoulder, but not holding her any longer. He remained there though, waiting as she held onto the table, her legs still regaining their feeling. She glanced up at his eyes, noticing the panic in them, and concern. For a man that seemed to show very little uncalculated emotion, his eyes acted as a window to his real emotions. She was shocked by the sheer intensity in his eyes. Though mildly disconcerting, she felt them reassure her all the same.
"You okay?" His voice was low, and quiet, trying not to startle her. She nodded as she stood upright again, only to sway as a wave of dizziness passed over her. Once more, she felt Michael grab her quickly and hold her upright. Shaking her head slightly, the cobwebs cleared as she sensed his closeness. While steadying her he had stepped into her, making himself no more than a mere inch or two away. She turned her head to look at him. Suddenly, like a puppy caught doing something bad, he backed up quickly, looking away. She turned away as well, as more than just her world, but her reality, collided with her. He'd backed away as far as he could reasonable get, while still being close enough to get to her if she needed him. She glanced at her slightly shaky hands, and closed her eyes.
"Thank you." She turned and he knew she meant it. He nodded, glancing around, before once more meeting her eyes.
"This happen a lot?" He stared straight into her eyes, all seriousness, reading her as she processed his question. She gave a short grimace.
"No...no, I don't really think I even know what this is." She shuddered slightly again, and sighed. From across the room he gave her a quizzical look.
"Sara... you just had a panic attack. A pretty bad one at that, you should take a break." He stepped forward, his caring beating out his sensibility.
She gave a small laugh, " Right, and who's the doctor now." She moved away from the bed, slowly. Now it was his turn to smile.
"Well, actually, if you want to get technical, we both are." He gave her a 'so there' grin. She turned with a small smile, bordering on humorous.
"Really, since when?" He grinned even wider as she began their normal game of wit.
"Well... they've been handing out structural engineering doctorates for years." With that, she gave something close enough to her normal grin that he relaxed from his state of hyper-alertness to a slightly lesser degree. He jumped back onto the medical bed, watching her reprepare his shot. She tied the small elastic around his upper arm, brushing his skin. He inhaled sharply, as she realized his guard really had dropped.
"Are you sure you'll be fine?" His voice had regained the seriousness and stress it had before.
"Yeah, I'm sure." She spoke in a tone that clearly indicated that the conversation had ended. Sara gave him a smile that she knew just convinced him of the opposite even more, but he nodded resolutely. He didn't speak the rest of their appointment, only nodding when she said goodbye.
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Michael walked slowly away from the office, lost in thought. That panic attack had been bad, he sincerely hoped she wasn't having more. Nothing had indicated that she had been lying to him, but still. God, he was worried. Way more than he should be, way more than he'd planned to be. If this kept up, he was going to need to reorganize his plans slightly.
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From a window above, Sara watched Michael be led onto the yard. Minutes earlier the same window had been occupied by the man she was now staring at. She hung her head, watching her shaking hand slow slightly. His effect on her was lasting, and even simply watching him was reassuring. She felt less stress now, maybe the attack had just released some stored up energy. Then again, maybe it wasn't the attack that had helped...
Suddenly, Michael slowed his meandering walk across the yard, turning to look at the building he had just left. He stared right back at her, watching with a soft grin, some how knowing she was there. He gave a small nod, small enough to be missed if you weren't watching carefully, then turned and kept walking in the same direction, away from the infirmary. Sara stood watching him for a few seconds longer witha sad smile, then turned away as well, getting back to her job.
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Hope you all liked it, my first one in this forum, Yaaahhh! Don't know if something like this has been done before, if I've stepped on anyone's toes, I apologize. Any way, plaese review, I love feedback. This was supposed to be a short one shot, but I'm thinking of writing, maybe three, more chapters. Any one interested? Any hoo, thanks for reading, hope it was worth your while. :)