A/N: I can't get over how badly they handled this whole "affair" thing, especially when it came back to bite her in the ass later on. So I guess I am just trying to fill in the gaps. Hope you'll like it! Comments are my fuel so keep them coming please :)

You're All I Have

"Please let me hold you 'til I know we are both through this

I couldn't lead another day without you here in my arms"

"How is she?" he asked as she entered the room again.

"She's okay I guess. I mean, it was horrible for her, but she believes me, so that's enough for now. Maybe someday we'll be able to tell her everything".

Henry nodded. The last thing he wanted was for his own children to think he would ever cheat on their mom. But he couldn't really blame Stevie. He skipped the family trip in the excuse he had to work on his book and hence be at the archives, but there he was at a coffee shop with a young woman. And it's not like he sounded convincing when she asked him about it, he made up this excuse about her being his grad student, helping him with his book. That pretty much screamed affair. And then when she tried to confront him he just shushed her, not even bothering to give her answers. Truth was he didn't know what to say because he couldn't tell her anything. He wanted to consult with Elizabeth but he could barely get a minute with her on the phone before she had to go deal with the new crisis that was going on in India.

They were getting ready to go to sleep and he couldn't help but notice she was awfully quiet. He tried reading her face but she kept avoiding his eyes. When she finally entered the bed next to him he pulled her closer. Her back was turned to him, but he wrapped his arm around her. "I love you" he whispered in her ear.

She didn't respond. She was trying to swallow down the lump in her throat, to keep her tears from falling down her face. Henry knew something was wrong because there was never a time when he told her he loves her and she didn't say it back. He leaned against his elbow and looked down at her, her eyes were sparkling with tears, and he could see she was trying to hold it all back.

"Babe, hey, what's wrong?" he asked. He was nudging her to turn around and face him, but she didn't move, just a tear slid down her cheek.

"Liz, come on, turn around, talk to me, please". He was practically begging. He hated seeing her like that, he wanted more than anything to comfort her, but she clearly didn't want his comfort and it hurt him.

She sighed, a small cry escaping as she did. She turned around and he could see in her eyes she was hurting. "I'm sorry, it's nothing, it's stupid. I love you too".

"It's not stupid if it's making you cry, what's going on?"

"I… It's just… I thought…"

"You thought I was cheating on you" he said as he suddenly realized what this was all about. He wasn't cheating but as he explained everything to her, he didn't stop to make sure she was okay, because she thought, even if just for a few short seconds, that he was having an affair. She thought he could actually go and be with another woman and it broke her. Of course it did, it would break him as well if he thought she was with another man.

"Yes. And it's stupid really, because you're not and you never did, and I just, I can't be mad at you for this, I can't even blame you for this. But I just… I can't get over the feeling of you being with another woman. Henry, I can't picture my life without you, and the thought of you having another life with some other woman, that… I…" she sighed. It didn't make sense in her head, so saying it out loud made even less sense and she was pretty sure he thought she was losing it.

"Hey, listen to me, I will never ever leave you. Not for another woman, not for any reason. I can't picture my life without you as well".

"But Henry, people fall out of love. Look around us at all the people getting a divorce. I can't bear the thought of you waking up one day and realizing you can live without me, and you want to".

"That will never happen. We're not like other couples. We've got more than two decades together".

"Henry, people break apart after 50 years together, how can you be so sure this is not our fate as well?"

"Elizabeth".

It was rare that he called her by her full name. He would only do that when he was furious or they were discussing something very important and he wanted to make sure he was clear on the subject. She wasn't sure which of these was the case now and she was afraid she might have made him very angry.

"I will never, EVER, cheat on you. Even if we ever fall out of love with one another, I will never cheat. I believe in solving the problem, not running away from it. And that's why I know it's not our fate because we both fight for this relationship to work. We both want it enough to actually make it work. I will never stop loving you and I know you will never stop loving me. So the worst that can happen is that things will get rough, but it won't be a first and we'll survive it together, like we did so far".

Tears were sliding down her cheeks now. It was stupid, she knew it was stupid. He was the love of her life. He was the only stable thing in her life since she met him, the one sure thing she could always count on to be there. And she was smart enough not to fall for just anyone. She knew better than devote like this to someone who wasn't feeling exactly like her. She was a CIA analyst after all. And truth was he was the only one with whom she let herself be led by her heart and emotions rather than by her voice of reason. There really was no way he would be having an affair, and she didn't even believe Daisy when she told her that. She just wanted to quiet that tiny voice in her head that kept telling her she might be so in love with him she's blind to see what's right in front of her. She couldn't sit in her office and think of every conversation they had recently, or analyze his behavior. She just needed to hear him say no and she was pretty certain that would be his answer. But when she asked him about it and he paused and didn't deny it right away, that was enough to make her doubt everything she thought she knew about them, it was enough to make her doubt everything they had. And when later she asked him if they'll figure it out eventually, seeking his reassurance, and he didn't respond, it was enough to wake all her demons and send her right to where she was now.

"You never answered my question…" she finally said.

Henry scanned her face. He was confused, unsure of what she was referring to, afraid he only made things worse without even knowing it. He was willing to answer anything and everything. Hell, if it was up to him he would tell her about the whole operation, but he couldn't so he promised to give her every detail he could. He knew she was disappointed he lied to her about his deadline being moved up, but he apologized for it. And then it hit him. She asked before if they will figure it out. She was hoping he would calm her, that he would promise her forever like he always did. Instead he looked at her and said nothing because he was still so worried about Stevie. It daunted him to think she was so unsure of them that she needed his reassurance so badly.

"Babe, of course we'll figure it out. We always do".

"You promise?"

"I promise. I love you so much".

Elizabeth nodded but the tears just kept falling from her eyes.

"Sweetheart please stop crying. Tell me what I can do to make this better, I hate seeing you hurting so much".

"Kiss me" she whispered.

Henry smiled. It was always the ultimate medicine for so many problems and for no problem at all. He leaned forward, his eyes now closed, brushing his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and her hand pulled his head closer to hers. She opened her lips and his tongue slipped inside, dancing over hers as they kissed.

"I love you okay? More than anything".

"I love you too. I'm sorry I got all worked up about this. I told you it was stupid".

"Baby, it's not stupid. I just don't ever want you to think there's a chance of us not being together, or of me going and having an affair".

"Okay. Promise" she nodded.

"Besides, babe, have you looked in the mirror lately? I would be crazy to leave you! I was shocked I was able to make you fall for my charm, there's no way I am going to cheat on you because honestly there's no way I'll ever land a hot babe like you".

She laughed and he was finally smiling because he just couldn't get enough of her laughter. "You're not so bad yourself" she teased, kissing him again.

She could never be certain they will survive all the obstacles life will throw their way, but she was certain they will both do their best to make this work. And if things were to ever fall apart, she knew at least their respect for each other was enough to not make them hurt each other that badly. Which is what she was thinking as she heard Daisy telling her about how her husband was seen around town with a younger woman. She hated herself a little that she didn't stick to that thought, but she also knew fare well Daisy would never say something like that unless she was pretty certain her source was reliable. And that's what shook her, because truth was everyone at the office knew they were strong together, deeply and madly in love with each other. So for Daisy to get up the courage and tell her she heard that Henry was having an affair, it was enough to undermine her foundations.

"Hold me tonight, will you?"

"I will forever hold you. I wouldn't have it any other way".

Elizabeth smiled, moving even more closely to him as she closed her eyes and slowly drifted into sleep. Henry stayed awake for a while longer, just staring at her. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. He could never have enough of her and he was thankful that she was lying there in his arms; that they were sharing a life together. He was grateful she was his.