A/N: You MUST have seen The Impossible Astronaut and Day of the Moon, or you'll be sitting here thinking 'Whaaaat?'
Have I ever known parents? …No, I don't think so. I used to be big, but now I'm small. It's kind of a muddle. I live here in this place for kids with no parents, with the scary messages on the wall. The nice man who watches over us, Mr. Renfrew, says that maybe, one day, a man and a woman will come along and want a little girl or boy just like us, and then we'll have parents! But until they come, I live here. Not many of the other kids like talking to me. I don't know why, though. It's like they think I'm scary.
Of course, I don't think I'm scary. I try to be nice, but whenever I talk to them, they scream and run away, or ignore me. I'm the only one who lives on this floor. It's kind of lonely, but I don't mind much. Sometimes I dream about a funny man with a big chin, and a weird hat. He sometimes has friends—a nice lady and a nice man. They seem happy. I wish I could be with them.
Then, one day, I'm sitting in my room reading my favorite storybook—the one with the witch on the cover, and the big words—MOTHER GOOSE. I like the story about the cow jumping over the moon. I want to do that someday!
Then someone opens the door. I look up to see a funny man in a nice suit standing in the doorway. He has a weird head, and makes a strange noise. I got up and walked up to him, and put out my hand out to shake like Mr. Renfrew taught me. The man seems a little surprised, but he shakes my hand. He only has three fingers, and they're really long, which seems wrong, but Mr. Renfrew says that saying something bad about someone else is rude.
The funny man tells me that he and his friend will be taking care of me for a while. I tell them that Mr. Renfrew already takes care of me, but they say that I'm very special. They give me a funny thing to put on my eye. It looks cool. I put it on, and look at myself in the mirror. The man says that it looks very nice. Another man who looks exactly like him comes in. Strange! I can tell them apart, but not very well. I ask what I should call them if they're going to be taking care of me, so they tell me.
They take care of me for a long time. The snow comes, and then goes away many times. I sit on the funny man's lap, and he reads stories to me, while his friend makes tea for the three of us. I see the other kids sometimes, but most of them have parents now. Are the funny men my parents? I don't think so. Something's missing. Something like…I don't know. I think I used to know, before I changed. At least, I think I changed. I don't know.
One day, a strange woman comes into my room. The two men stand up, and get a little in front of me. The woman talks to them, telling them to give me to her. The men don't like that. They tell her no, and she gets angry. She's wearing a funny eye patch like the one the men gave me. The men hold out their hands, and lightning comes from their fingers, like they captured a thunderstorm. It hits the woman and she screams. One of the men picks me up and takes me downstairs, and outside. The world is so big! I don't get to come outside often. The men hurry me to a little place across the road. I can see down the street—there's a strange man in a white suit and a big hat. It looks like the spacemen I've seen on the TV. The men see it too, and I can tell they don't like it. They put me in the house, and give me a telephone, and tell me to call someone. Mr. Renfrew told me how to use a phone, and I show the men how to use it. They tell me I'm very smart to know how to use one. They tell me the spaceman is bad, and wants to eat me, but they'll protect me. I know they won't let anyone eat me.
I call on the telephone, and a strange man's voice answers. He says that he is the President of the United States. He used a lot of big words that I don't know. I tell him about the spaceman. He doesn't know what I mean, so I hang up. The nice men tell me that I can go back to my room now. I go, but when I get back, there's the funny man from my dreams! The nice lady is there, too! The men tell me to hide, so I do. But when I come out, I see the spaceman!
He's going to eat me!