Stranger than Fanfiction
-written by Typewriterman
-based on the story of Bleach, created by Tite Kubo
An Introduction
This is the story of a young man…by Soul Society standards, at least. In comparison to the lives of earth, the life span of a Soul is to compare a grain of sand to the desert. Suffice it to say, it is a vast difference using this definition.
'What is Soul Society?'
You ask?
Rather than use a mere definition; words of eloquent description, of a day in the life of a resident of Soul Society should help clear things up. You see, this is the story of the Seventh seat, of the Fourth Divisions, of the Thirteen Court Divisions that protect Soul Society. This is a story about Hanataro Yamada…
For as long as he could remember, Hanataro Yamada had been a Shinigami. As part of the Thirteen Court divisions, or the Gotei Thirteen, there was almost nothing else of which he had devoted his life—or after life to, at all. Dressed in the dark uniform of all Shinigami, Hanataro has been charged with the absolute defense of the Soul Society. Not in any way a misnomer, the Soul Society is indeed, a society…for souls.
Life is but a cycle, you see. Within our temporal realm, where our existence lies currently, life is but a finite experience until our expiration, more commonly known as death. But death is not simply the end. We have afterlives, as our consciousness leaves our corporeal body, and forms a spirit shell, and we become known as a plus. Of course, through our existence, our souls can become tainted, and upon death, our spirit selves are tainted—a minus.
To be a minus is a torturous existence—save for eternal damnation of hell. But of course, pluses don't always become minuses on their own accord, that is often the fault of the minuses; also known as Hollows because of their lack of conscience…represented by the hole in its chest. But have no fear, for the Shinigami, the Death Gods are sent to lead wandering pluses to Soul Society, and purify the Hollows, who are no more than pluses that have lost their way.
That is the purpose of the Shinigami, who live to lead souls to Soul Society and to protect it from dangers. It is in this other existence where Souls reside, sometimes centuries at a time. Of course, the protectors do not merely live amongst the common souls; they are centered within the Sereitei, a pure white and medieval-esque fortress, where the protectors monitor and legislate, train and develop their skills. It is also here, where Hanataro Yamada, dressed in the dark uniform of the Shinigami makes his report to the Fourth Squad headquarters.
Unfortunate to say, Hanataro was seen as quite the bland character by most. Raven hair about an earlobe's length, bangs that covered his face, dull eyes, and an even duller voice. His uniform was not as personalized as his contemporaries or squad mates either. It was neither outstanding nor too unkempt, in fact nothing could really differentiate him amongst a crowd save for a single white sash that reached from right shoulder down to left waist.
His name was a mix of Tarō Yamada, and Hanako Yamada, both equivalents of John and Jane Doe. To put it simply; even by his name's sake, Hanataro was a nobody. But despite what others thought, Hanataro always kept his head held high…although his shoulders were unbearably slouched.
Of course, today would not be just other day for this character, for something quite odd began to happen; and he was quick to notice this strange happening, indeed.
"Did someone say something?" Hanataro stopped in his tracks. Turning his head to look to and fro, he found no one around him in the alley way, and simply shrugged it off. "I guess I'm hearing things…"
The sun beaming down against the background of a beautiful blue sky, it was a wonder that the white walls that flanked him somehow did not blind his dark eyes as he centered too his previous direction. Walking forward once again, Hanataro continued on his way to the Fourth Division Headq-
"Hello?" Hanataro stopped a second time. Finding that he was still alone, he began to rush his down the alleyway, and in fact managed to crash through the paper doors unexpectedly.
"What the hell, Yamada!?" a dark spectacled blonde man exclaimed. His brows seethed from behind the dark lenses, and his teeth were in fact, bared angrily.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Hanataro yelled out apologetically.
Despite the constant anger that came from Third Seat Yasochika Iemura, Hanataro could never argue with the man. In fact, through an amazing and subconscious act of self-hypnosis, he really never noticed the Blonde man's irritation towards him.
"Irritation?" Hanataro tilted his head, and wondered if Third Seat Iemura was self narrating again. "Is that true, Iemura-san?"
It was too late for Hanataro to retract his statement, for it was only seconds later, that he realized that he did not use the proper honorific.
His eyes bulging, Hanataro began stuttering wildly, in hopes to repeat his sentence correctly.
"Forget it…" the man said irritated. "Unohana-taicho has been waiting for your report all morning."
Ignoring the constant mumblings of the lower ranking Hanataro, the blonde Iemura huffed at the fumbling Seventh seat as he walked away. "What an idiot…" he said under his breath.
"Huh? Iemura-sama, did you say something just now?" It was just a hunch, but Hanataro could have sworn that someone had mentioned his superior saying something about him.
"N-no!" Iemura said in surprise. "Now get reporting already!"
It would not have been wise to press the issue further, and Hanataro was indeed tardy for his report.
"Oh, that's right!" Rushing—although wary of where he was going—Hanataro managed to arrive at the officer's office. Carefully sliding the door, he calmly walked in, to see a dark haired woman in the center of the room.
The Captain of the Medical and Supply Relief Division, Retsu Unohana is a soft spoken, polite, and caring woman.
Although visibly distracted, Hanataro manages to continue through the motions of a subordinate approaching their Captain, and successfully sat across from her in seiza.
"Yamada-san…" She smiled as she said this, although what she had to say was of the utmost importance; perhaps if Hanataro had simply forgotten to take off his shoes…
"Oh, sumimasen, Taicho!" Hanataro yelped out, and quickly took off his wooden shoes. He winced slightly at the slap of wood against wood, but smiled nervously nevertheless.
The long haired woman smiled at his quick action, although the silver-purple haired Vice-captain's neutral face took a slight negative glance towards him.
"Um, Ohaiyo, Unohana-taicho…Kotetsu-fukutaicho." Hanataro made sure to bow again towards the two women, and shockingly managed to diffuse the situation.
"There was no need to do that a second time, Yamada-san." She smiled again.
It was possible, that on a day such as this, where the sun shone high in Soul Society, that perhaps beauty was flowing about. The smell of lilacs and other spring scents filtered through the air, intermingling with the incense from the lit stick at the far end of the room. His mind wandered to thoughts of how her flowing hair smelt; perhaps like this homogenous mixtures of smells that filtered into his nostrils…It seemed to poor Hanataro, that his Captain was even more beautiful that she normally looked-
"What about me!?" Hanataro yelped nervously. Both women look back at him silently; surprised at his sudden outburst.
"Oh, thank you for volunteering, Yamada-san. I too felt that we would be at a loss without Isane-san here, don't you think?"
Staring back towards the woman, most inwardly flushed, Hanataro smiled weakly at the behest of her soft eyes.
What had he just volunteered for?
"Did…you say something just now, Taicho?"
Some words from the Typewriter
I'm going somewhere different with this story, as you've plainly seen. I haven't read that many "good" Hanataro fics, or even stories featuring him at all!
Well I aim to change that...
-If you haven't noticed yet, italics is the narrator...
...legalites...
-All characters featured have been created by Tite Kubo
-This is a parody based on a certain movie premise...with this in mind, some walls may be broken througout this fic...(especially the fourth one)