"Lucius, I don't love you."

"I don't love you either… but I think I could like having you around"

Narcissa sighed and fiddled hem of the sleeve of her robe. Blue silk swam through her fingers like quicksilver. She dared not look at him; his voice was laced with hesitance. He was hesitant, even though they were in the garden, surrounded by the pungent smell of roses, with fairies banished so no one or thing could hear them. This threw Narcissa off. Lucius was never hesitant. The Malfoys always went forth with head held high, certain and decisive. Moreover, blatant honesty was rare with Lucius. He was honest… yes, but never like a Gryffindor. And his blatant honesty frightened Narcissa more than any degree of his cold refrain ever would.

"… and our union, while it isn't love, would, uh, benefit us both."

"And our families."

Narcissa's voice came out in a monotone. Lucius' fumble had startled her. She dropped the fabric of her sleeve from her fingers and sighed. She shouldn't have said that out loud. Pureblood ladies were not supposed blurt things out like that.

Yet she could not bring herself to feel ashamed. She and Lucius had been engaged for a while now—over four months, yet it had seemed like forever. The wedding was fast approaching and Narcissa found she could not lie to herself any longer.

They had dated at Hogwarts, briefly in his seventh year, and after he graduated their separation had made their hearts grow stronger. Shortly after she graduated he proposed and she accepted. It was what was expected, it was what had felt right. He had never told her he loved her, or she him. She thought she did. But earlier that afternoon, before she came to meet him she caught her reflection in the mirror. As she stared into the glass dead, blue eyes stared back at her. It was then that she realized that she didnot love him. Narcissa realized that it was want that led her to these ends. She wanted to be loved, to feel loved, to love in return. And her and Lucius both had invested time in this relationship, and the engagement just seemed like a natural step. But not anymore. The pressure was stifling. Her future was closing in on her. She could see her options slowly disapparating before her eyes.

"Yes, our families too. But Narcissa, think of your reputation, if you back out of this marriage…"

"I'll be a ruined woman."

"Maybe not so dramatically, but yes. Narcissa, I wish I could love you but—"

"You think you could like having me around."

She had spat the last part at him with outright contempt. Yet that unspoken, thinly veiled threat—'think of your reputation Narcissa', meant he was gaining confidence. She had to stop him before he convinced himself that this sham of a marriage was right. She tore her gaze from her hands and look at him, his mask was gone, and to his credit his cheeks were slightly flushed, at least he enough humility to be sheepish. Narcissa laughed inwardly, a sheep, Lucius Malfoy, a sheep.

"Yes Narcissa, you're good company, smart, beautiful, vivacious. We're compatible Narcissa and this, this marriage, is practical."

"But Lucius I don't love you."

"I don't love you either Narcissa. Those are the facts. I want to love you. I want to you to be happy. Maybe one day we will love each other."

Narcissa's voice was so cold that it burned Lucius.

"Lucius, if we don't love each other now, who's to say we'll love each other ten years from now? We'll be the same people, but we'll be older, lonelier, and more bitter. Not only that, but our futures will have escaped us entirely."

Lucius sighed, and Narcissa dropped her gaze back to her hands. She could feel her resolve slipping. Would it really be so bad? Lucius' voice was soft when he spoke. Almost sheepish again. She would only ever hear him talk like this once more in her life, years from now. That time Narcissa would win.

"We'll be old and lonely and bitter together. We'll have a family. If we don't love each other then, well, we'll figure something out."

Narcissa closed her eyes. She had lost. He had made up his mind. She would marry him. Her fate had been successfully sealed, and any girlish hopes and dreams she had of true love had been suffocated. Ten years from now they would still not love each other, but they would love a little baby boy named Draco. They would do anything for that boy because they loved him. He would tie them together forever, and the love they shared for him would cause their relationship to change. No, they would never really love each other, but together they would ensure that their son never made the same mistake that they had.

Well, I had been wanted to write a L/N story for a while, when I was deleting old documents and came upon a document entitled "Thesis". It was two sentences about History in the 20th century and then this story. I had been working on my paper while watching a movie (Muriel's Wedding, presumably) when inspiration hit.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling, the plot is mine, and the opening quote 'I don't love you.... but I think I could like having you around' is from Muriel's Wedding.

Reviews/critiques greatly appreciated. --tractor