A/N: Wow, I'm pretty sure this could not be more random. I swear, see for yourself.
Functional Mystery
by Remi Craeg
"What's this?" Rory asks.
Lorelai shrugs, "I don't know, a noise-making thingy?"
"Okay, new rule: you can't keep anything you don't know the name of."
"What? That's ridiculous!"
"You're tellin' me," Luke mumbles.
"Yes. This is ridiculous, your hording of no-name objects," Rory agrees easily.
Luke tries, "and nothing you don't know the use of either."
"No, that is ridiculous." Rory this time.
"Yeah, Luke. We have a ton of things we have no idea what they do."
"…But you know their names."
"Uh, yeah." (Lorelai)
"Okay…"
"Like the apple peeler. I mean, I know what it does, just not how it does it." She holds it up for inspection, then tests the crank. "Maybe it's defective!"
"Maybe you just forgot to take the plastic cover off the blade." Luke removes the offending plastic.
"My hero!" in a southern drawl.
"I think she's serious, Luke. She once spent an entire Saturday looking for soft-skinned apples, convinced it would warm up the peeler. I think in one day she single-handedly convinced all of Hartford that she was crazy."
"Took the whole day? Certifiable, by the way. And why do you buy all these things if you don't know what they do—or how they do it?"
"Uh, duh. Because they're cute."
"You think an apple peeler and…" he looks around to the so-called mystery function pile and picks up a shiny handle, "a garlic press are cute. Really?"
"Adorable." Lorelai states matter-of-factly.
"Yet functionally mysterious," Rory adds.
"You guys, I swear. Both of ya, nuts."
"I found me an articulate one," she tells Rory.
"And cute."
"Oh, stop it."
"And adorable," Lorelai croons.
"Yet functionally mysterious."
"Rory, no. We know what he's good for—"
"Lorelai!"
"What, Luke? I was going to say 'coffee.' Jeez, there's a child in the room."
"Mom!," Rory cringes.
A/N: One time someone told me that I really liked to use dialogue and bet me that I couldn't write an entire piece in dialogue. Well, I guess technically it is three people conversing and I had to give a bit of "stage direction" to keep the lines straight, but I think it's pretty close. Not sure that's impressive or worrisome. Decide for yourself I suppose. Thanks for making it this far!