Author's Notes

Disclaimer: Disney and Brad Bird own Ratatouille, not I! If I owned it, there would be a sequel out by now, and way more dialogue from our favorite rodent.

Rated: T, because you-know-who likes to throw sharp objectsand sharp words (and we love her for it!)

Hello fellow Ratatouille lovers! Whether it's Remy, Collette, or the whole crazy little movie that you love, I hope I shall do a good job of representing everything that is so sweet and funny about Ratatouille *smiles* This is going to be a multi-chapter work, probably 10 or higher. I've been working on it for about 4 months now, and have gotten to the point where all the pieces are starting to come together, but I've read it so much that I've lost all objectivity!!! So of course I'd love it if you would all read and review!

Enjoy!

***

Domestique

"Auuuugh!"

At the sound of a shrill squeak at her feet, Collette screamed and jumped backwards onto the kitchen counter, dropping a heavy jar in the process. Glass flew everywhere with a magnificent crash. Collette threw her arms up to shield her face.

"Collette!" Alfredo came running into the kitchen.

Collette shrieked. "Don't!"

The lanky redhead skidded to a stop just short of the mess, pitched forward on the balls of his feet as if he was using the toe stops on his roller-skates. He stared at the goo and glass on the floor. Then he raised his worried, freckled face to look at her. "Are you ok? What happened?"

"I – um…" Collette glanced under the table, where a furry little creature was staring sad-eyed at the wreckage of one of his favorite cooking ingredients.

She sighed.

Collette had known that asking Alfredo Linguini to come live with her would be a challenge. She had been aware that having her boyfriend – her klutzy, inhibited, kind-hearted boyfriend – share living space with her would probably be an exercise in complete exasperation. She had considered that even though he would be living in his own room in her apartment, that even though they were technically just roommates who happened to be sweethearts, people would talk. Collette had prepared herself for unbearably loud snoring from the next room, for having to wait her turn for the bathroom, for having to clean up after him the way she had in the restaurant kitchen his first week on the job, for probably having to run his laundry when he got forgetful (which he did, and didn't she know it?), for having to arrange her schedule and her furniture around Alfredo's needs. She had considered what a major pain living with the young man would be.

But what else was she supposed to do? In the wake of the closing of Gusteau's, most of Alfredo's assets had been frozen. His father's money was inaccessible for the time being. He still had the inheritance from his mother, of course, but it wasn't enough to pay the rent at the upscale apartment Alfredo had moved into upon taking ownership of the now out-of-business restaurant. Not nearly enough. Unable to stomach the thought of her beloved moving back into some run-down flat with no dignity whatsoever, Collette had prepared herself for all the big and little annoyances, and insisted that he move into her spare bedroom.

What she had not prepared herself for was apartment life with a rat.

Alfredo's eyes traveled from Collette's undignified perch on the counter, across the floor and the mess of the shattered jar, to the various moving-day boxes and kitchen implements helter-skelter around the kitchen, to the Little Chef huddled under the table, and back to Collette. He raised an eyebrow.

She blushed. "He startled me!"

Alfredo shook his head and reached under the table. "You ok Little Chef?" The rat slunk onto his open palm and nodded. Alfredo cupped his hands around the rat for security and turned back to Collette, a reproachful expression in his eyes. It exactly matched the look the rat was giving her.

"Don't look at me like that!" Collette pleaded. "It's bad enough when one of you gives me zee sad eyes, but two!" She groaned and bent down to the rat's eye level. "Ami, Ami, I am sorry. I did not know you were there. I am not used to having a – a…" She fished for the right words, something to make the rat feel less like… well, a rat. "A little creature underfoot in my apartment," she ended lamely. She grinned up at Alfredo. "Or a big one, for that matter."

The Little Chef perked up a bit at the joke and nodded at her, smiling.

Apology accepted, Collette realized. Relieved, she straightened up in time to catch a kiss on the lips from her boyfriend. She felt a swift jolt in her stomach and her eyes fluttered shut, but not before catching sight of the rat looking distinctly uncomfortable from his perch on Alfredo's hand. She opened her eyes and gently pushed the young man away, gesturing at the rat.

Alfredo laughed sheepishly. "We're all just going to have to get used to being roommates, oui?"

Collette nodded vigorously. "Oui, Cherie. Ami," she added, catching the rat's eye. The Little Chef twitched his ears happily.

"But Little Chef," Alfredo chided, "She is right. I know you want to learn the layout of Collette's kitchen, but you shouldn't be in here while we're unpacking."

The creature's whiskers drooped.

"Don't take it like that," Collette soothed. "We are trying to make sure you are safe, no? Just give us some time to figure out a system."

"I'll help Collette in here, Little Chef. In the meantime, you have a decision to make: Where do you want your bedroom to be?"

The rat tipped his head back and looked up at Collette expectantly.

Uh oh.

Collette gulped as she realized she had made no provisions for the rat's privacy. It hadn't occurred to her that he would need any. She had been too busy thinking about her privacy.

Selfish, she scolded herself. "You may room wherever you like," she said boldly. "My home ees yours, oui?"

The Little Chef wasted no time. Jumping down from Alfredo's outstretched hand, he scampered across the living room rug to the window, clambered up the drapes and hopped on the broad window sill. He turned to the humans and smiled. Right here, he motioned.

Collette's brow puckered as she and Alfredo walked hand-in-hand to the window. "But … zat ees not very private…"

The rat grabbed one of the drapes and tugged at it until it slid across the rod, enclosing his little room. He poked his face out between the drapes and twitched his whiskers at them. See?

Collette and Alfredo laughed. "Ami,you have zee best room in zee house!" Collette touched the curtains thoughtfully. "We will get you something to tie them back with, no? Not so hard on you to do it that way, I think."

Alfredo and the rat were smiling at her.

I have made them happy, she realized. Both of them.

***

Ahh, but shall they remain happy? *snickers* Right.

As you may have guessed, this Fic will span the gap between the closing of Gusteau's and the opening of La Ratatouille! A fun playground, I think.

So, now that you've had your dessert, time to eat your veggies *grins* Please review, and don't hesitate to be critical. Thanks!