Summary: Zero's vine entwined arm was raised, revealing the unmistakable barrel of the Bloody Rose that was now pointing at her chest, his finger ready at the trigger. - - A post-chapter 43 oneshot. Contains obvious spoilers. Rated T for angst.
Disclaimer: Vampire Knight doesn't belong to me... and thank goodness! I love happy endings too...
Spoiler Alert: This takes place at the end of chapter 43, so don't read this unless you've read it.
For You.
She drew a sharp breath as she felt the stab in her chest. The rest of her body stood frozen in horror. Zero's vine entwined arm was raised, revealing the unmistakable barrel of the Bloody Rose that was now pointing at her chest, his finger ready at the trigger. She sensed her own registered shock as she stared back at her childhood friend, waiting for him to fire. Adrenalin flooded her system, but all she really felt was the wave after wave of crippling pain that crashed against her heart.
Why are you doing this, Zero?! The sound of her own thoughts were deafening in the tense silence that surrounded them. The dull throbbing continued beneath her ribs as she acknowledged the answer to her question.
He hated her. She was a pureblood now, she thought, recalling the unbound venom that emerged whenever her friend had spoken of her kind. And as if that wasn't enough, she was also Kaname's sister. She was the same sort of vampire which had brutally murdered his parents and destroyed his life – his humanity. She was the same as those who had taken everything away from him and had made him the bloodthirsty monster that he so hated. How could she have expected anything less than hatred from him?
But I did, she thought bitterly, scolding herself for being so foolish. How could she have expected him to forgive her for what she now was? When he had saved her during the battle she had let herself hope. She had made a mistake and had been unable to block Rido's blow. She had been so sure she was going to die, but he had saved her just in time...
And then suddenly Rido was gone. Dead. And she had turn to him, worried that he had somehow been hurt, only to have him push her away. Why had she not then already grasped that the real damage done wasn't part of the physical assault by Rido, but the emotional damage done by her?
Standing at that distance, she realized that she had never seen him like this before. The gentle evening breeze caught his silver bangs to reveal his usually expressive amethyst eyes that were now cold and lifeless. The stoic face of the handsome hunter she had come to love was set in stone, hiding other darker emotions. The pain in her chest only increased as those amethyst orbs continued to bore into her own, reflecting nothing but hatred.
"You didn't do anything bad Yuuki", he whispered quietly, his eyes softening just a fraction.
Hadn't she? It felt like she had. The pain in her chest was so terrible; it could only be some sort of punishment... And yet what did it matter if she hadn't done anything bad? He still hated her. He was still going to shoot her anyway...
She thought sadly of Kaname, Yori and the Chairman. Would she ever see them again?
"Zero, I can't die just yet..." she managed to say, her voice quavering as she fought back the unwilling tears. But it feels like it.
She watched in disbelief as his thorny vines snaked their way towards her, and yet she refused to move. He would never hurt her. She couldn't believe that he would hurt her. He wouldn't. This was Zero. Her Zero, whom she loved and had vowed to protected... He wouldn't ever hurt –
She gasped in surprise as pain shot through her thigh as the nearest vines whipped around her leg, their malicious thorns leaving gashes in her clothes and skin. She jumped reflexively out of the way as the rest of the vines crashed down on the spot where she had stood. Then without warning, pain like she had never felt before exploded through her left shoulder and the sound of a gunshot ricocheted off the surrounding buildings.
She blinked back tears as her world unraveled before her eyes in seconds. Zero had shot her. Her Zero.
Her mind was numb as she froze on the spot. She could feel the slow trickle of warmth that ran against her back and down her arm as the smell of her own blood flooded her senses. She didn't even seem to feel the wound in her shoulder. Instead, her left hand shot mechanically to her chest, her fingers digging into her skin as she let out a dry sob in agony as her heart wretch in two.
He watched her in silence from across the roof as she tried to slow her breathing, pulling in each breath as she struggled against the pain. What was he doing? She more than anyone knew of his shooting skills. He had always been an impeccable marksman, and yet he had shot her in the shoulder. Why didn't he just kill her already? Or was he playing with her? Getting some sick pleasure out of her pain?
A burning anger shot through her without warning and she jumped towards him, dodging the thorny vines of the Bloody Rose as she went. If this was how he wanted to play...
The Artemis scythe was a blur around her as she resisted more of his attacks. There was a blockage in her brain as she reacted without processing, fuelled by the agony, the cruelty and the burning rage.
Before they knew it, she was standing before him, the razor edge of Artemis scythe inches from his throat. The last of her attacks had left them surrounded in a heap of severed vines. She couldn't help but silently wonder if he had felt pain as her scythe sliced through the vines that seemingly came from his body. Did he feel even the slightest pain, or was it as painless to him as the connection he had severed between them? Did he even feel pain anymore? If Zero was fazed by her sudden attack, he didn't show it. His pale stone face revealed nothing as he stood before her. His arm was still raised, ready to fire.
They both heard her gasp as a trickle of red blossomed from his pale cheek and ran down his jaw. She must have nicked him as she had attacked, she realized. Her eyes involuntarily following the seeping crimson liquid, unable to look away.
She stood as if transfixed, watching the damage she had done, her weapon still inches from his neck. In that moment she felt all her anger melt away.
You didn't do anything bad Yuuki, his words echoed.
And she knew she could never do anything bad. Not to him. Not to her Zero. Not even as he tried to kill her.
Why was there so much pain in her chest from just the thought of causing him harm? He had shot her with his stupid anti-vampire gun! And yet, as he looked at her with his face filled with anger and pain, all she wanted to do was to run to him and take it all away.
He was Zero, and one again he was that vulnerable twelve year old boy whom she had cared for since that fateful snowy night. He was the same fragile boy who had stood on in traumatized silence as he let her wipe away the blood – the same boy whom she had comforted as she fought the bloodied fingers that had tore at the skin of his neck. She had vowed to protect him, and had almost sacrificed herself to Shizuka so that he wouldn't fall...
I can't lose you Zero. I just can't...
The fingers on her chest tightened as the agony of that very thought ripped through her.
What did he mean to her? She was suddenly fighting back cold, sardonic laughter as she realized the irony. She finally had the answer to his question, but as fate would have it, it was already too late.
Everything.
You mean everything, Zero.
But her love for Kaname... Her love for her brother was nothing compared to this she realized. Of course she still loved her brother dearly, but her love for Zero had always been different, more binding. Zero had always been there – like the ground beneath her feet. Her love for Kuname had always been from a distance, she forever thinking that they weren't the same. Oh, the irony! And even now that she knew that she was his sister and a pureblood, she couldn't feel the connection any more than before. Zero's life and hers had always been intertwined so closely. How could she have been so blind? Zero was a part of her. His soul and her soul were the same.
"Kill me Yuuki," Zero whispered.
"No!" she screamed and memories of a different night flooded back to her. It was the night she had walked into his room to find him holding his gun to his head and had wrestled it from his grip just in time. He had implored her to kill him before he reached Level E and had left when she would not. Tears had streamed into her pillow for the week that followed as she lay in bed replaying the events of that night, realizing how close she had been to losing him forever. She had almost been too late...
Zero's amethyst eyes flashed with irritation and the venom returned to his voice. "Kill me now before I hunt you down, Yuuki," he snarled, his words cutting right through her.
But I love you, she wanted to scream. I love you...
After all this time how could he not understand? After all they had been through together. He must feel the same... he must...
Unwilling tears welled up in her eyes once more as she recalled all those times they spent together. The times they had spent patrolling the school grounds late at night or the detention they both received for sleeping in class. Their trips into town where he inevitably complained as she dragged him around, the secret times in the Chairman's bathroom... She remembered the times she had leaned into his warm, muscular chest and their closeness as he fed, and the way he had sometimes hugged her like she was the most important thing in the world... The love that she almost deluded herself into thinking was there...
He had even shot himself in the leg to prevent Shizuka from biting her, she recalled. But that was all different now, she thought bitterly. Now she was nothing more to him than prey. He didn't love her. He hated her. He wanted her dead.
Suddenly she wished that he would just pull the trigger. She felt like dying. She was already dead to him anyway, and as much as she wished, four years of close friendship didn't change the facts. He had called her 'the enemy'.
A deadpan look that Zero had never before seen crept up on Yuuki's face. To his surprise she nodded at his words.
"You shall kill me, Zero. But I can't die just yet... Give me a little time... When I've done what I need to do, I will come find you."
For a moment he could only stare. Flickers of surprise, followed by doubt crossed his eyes as they met her dead burgundy ones.
She felt another stab. Was he doubting her?
"It is a promise, Zero." Her gentle voice was barely a whisper. "All this time you're known me... when have I ever broken a promise to you?"
She gazed into his eyes, seemingly lost in her thoughts, but then stepped forward, first lowering her scythe onto the roof tiles. She moved slowly towards him, palms upwards in surrender. Her eyes transfixed on his as she silently asked for his trust.
With one finger, she touched his cheek and a shard of pain pierced her heart as she felt him flinch under her touch.
"It's alright," she whispered gently, more to herself than to him as she slowly caressed his smooth face with the back of her fingers, her large cinnamon eyes memorizing his face. And it would be alright for her, because for her at least, all of this was going to end really soon. She would just go find Yori and the Chairman... they would be somewhere near the Sun Dorms.
Thoughts of Cross Academy filled her mind as she ran through the memories of the only home she'd ever known. Of course she knew she had lived with her mother and father, but those first five years with Kaname and her pureblood parents were distant and foggy. Cross Academy had become not only her home, but her family, and she couldn't help but smile as she thought of the Chairman, Kuname, Yori and of course Zero that had made up her new family for so many years. These were precious memories of better times that she would never return to... The Sunday morning walks with Yori on the school grounds, the awkward 'family' meals with the Chairman and Zero...
Nearly all her memories were with Zero, she realized. He had always been there for her, a constant pillar of strength whenever she had needed him. She recalled the times that she had run into his protective arms that had shielded her from her nightmares and fears, as well as the times he had stayed up with her to finish her homework. She felt undeniably proud in the fact that she had been the only one to break down the walls behind his stoic mask, proud that she knew him better than anyone else and remembering with a pang, that beautiful smile that few had seen but only she knew how to flush out of him.
Zero felt his own heart wretch in his chest as he witnessed the twin tears fall from her lashes, trickling quickly down her cheeks. He felt his jaw clench as he fought the sudden desire to reach forward towards them – to wipe them from her face with a gentle brush of his thumb.
He wanted so badly to hold her. To make her tears go away and to tell her that it was somehow going to be okay. Hesitating, he missed his chance completely as she finally tore her eyes away from him as more tears threaten to spill.
Turning her back to him, she picking up her scythe which she had previously discarded.
"I'll be back" she said, and he froze as his very own words stirred memories of events that happened only a few weeks ago. How could everything have changed so much since then?
He wanted nothing more than to run to her. Nothing more than to be able to tell her he could love her, pureblood or not. However, instead he remained silent as he watched her reach the edge and dive gracefully off the roof without a backward glance.
A/N: Hey...maybe I should have placed a bigger warning above against the angst. Sorry for the melodrama. I can't help but wonder if it's too over done... Probably is... Sigh. I know that this is my fanfic, but I still can't believe that Zero shot her! That jerk! (mutter... mutter...) Anyhow, this horrible scene popped into my head after reading the last chapter and I just had to write it. I can't really think of another kind of solution to the end of chapter 43. She obviously can't kill him... and I'd like to believe the same of him... although I somehow can't be sure. Sigh I'm still dead certain that they'll end up together in the end! Can't wait for chapter 44!!
Anyway, constructive criticism is always greatly appreciated. Please review and tell me what you think!