Title: Just This Once
Author: Bernade
Rating: NC17...
Notes:A little vignette from when the Hardys were teenagers. No specific ages are used. HARDYCEST.
Disclaimer: For the love of all humanity, I don't own any of this. I claim no knowledge of anyone's sexual habits except my own.
I'm staring at the wall in the dark when I feel hands prodding at me. Without looking, I know who it is.
"What's up?" I ask him, turning my head slightly to face him. He's so tall now... it's been so weird to watch him grow up. "Can I lay with you?" he asks, and without waiting for an answer, crawls into bed with me. I shift over and let him in and we quickly fall into our usual position; spooning with his back to my chest, my arm around his waist. We both know that we're way too old for this behavior, and we've talked about it, but we figure there's no harm when no one is home... and what with Dad out playing cards tonight, we'll be fine. He won't be back until around two anyway.
"Something wrong?"
He hesitates slightly before answering.
"No..." he covers my larger hand with his and pulls me tighter around him. I knew he was going to lie before he even spoke, but I let it sit for awhile. He'll tell me. He always does.
Sure enough, just as I close my eyes and begin to drift off, he speaks up again.
"Matty... do you think... I mean..." he pauses, "My body hates me." I mull over that for a moment.
"Why do you say that?" I let my thumb stroke his hand gently and he shivers a bit.
"Have you ever... been like... hard, and you jacked off, but you were still horny?" He says the last bit all in one breath, so fast I just barely catch it. I chuckle to myself, silently, in the dark.
"Yeah. It's called being a guy."
"No, but not just horny, like... so horny you felt like you were going to explode?" Hmm.
"Well, yeah... but..." He lapses into silence for a bit. "Matt?"
"Yeah?" He's rolling over now to face me, and his green eyes are absolutely shining in the dark. I just now notice that he's trembling, shaking really, and his whole body is tensed up.
"It hurts," he whispers, and he's drawing really close to my face. In the back of my head, I kind of have an idea of where this is going, and I'm not sure if I like it...
"What hurts, Jeff?" I managed to whisper back, my voice cracking just slightly.
"This," he leans into my chest and presses his hips to me and I feel something hard jab into my hip. I know instantly what it is, hot and throbbing through our boxers. As much as I know this is wrong, my own erection is answering his, and I bite back a moan. Then he's kissing me, his soft lips on mine, and I just want to melt into this. I force myself to pull away. His face is panicked in the dark and he's tensed again, ready to run.
"Jeff..." I murmur, and then I catch his eyes and my entire soul is pulled out of my body. His eyes are full of desperation, panic, lust, fear, and some kind of affection I don't want to acknowledge. He's begging without saying a word. I close my eyes and sigh slowly.
"Just this one time," I whisper, "But only once. Okay?" He nods and nuzzles my face before touching his lips shyly to mine. I kiss him back gently, and then he's pulling me onto him, rubbing his cock against mine. The innocent kiss quickly morphs into something much more passionate, and I wonder how obscene we look. Two brothers entangled in each other like we are...
His hands find my cock and I groan as he handles it clumsily. His touch is electrifying despite its inexperience and I grind against him slightly. I press my tongue into his mouth and he allows me, letting me taste him and take what I'm beginning to need. His mouth is hot and wet, his tongue touching against mine.
Jeff's shrugging off his boxers now and I feel his full erection rest against my thigh as I kneel above him. I reach down to grasp it in my hand, and he groans when I touch him. It's of a decent size for his age, and it's really... fucking... hard.
I start to jack him off, but he bats my hands away.
"Matty..." he's hesitating again, and I feel the need in his body. I've shifted back a little now, keeping most of my weight in my thighs and on my left hand, which is holding me over my little brother. He looks up at me with those huge liquid eyes and he's begging me, "Matty, please... fuck me. Please. If we can only do this once, I just..."
I want to. God do I want to, my whole body is throbbing with need. To thrust into him, give him what he wants, give him everything. It's so wrong though...
"Okay," my mouth is moving without me wanting it to, and then I'm leaning over and under the bed and pulling out the lube I use when I jerk off. A second thought has me rummaging around the beside drawer and I pull out a condom, leaving both items on the top of the drawer. Then I'm kissing him again, plundering his innocent mouth, and fiddling the lube open with one hand. I dribble some over my fingers and rub them together to get the liquid warm before adjusting him. His legs are already spread and I touch him very, very carefully.
He's looking at me again, and I see everything in his eyes. I nudge his head to the side with mine and lick at his neck, then I bite him hard enough to make him whimper. My fingers find his opening and he hisses softly as I press my index into him. He arches up against me and his hands find my shoulders, clinging to me. I bite him again since he obviously enjoys it and my middle finger joins the first. Jeff moans and wriggles against me when I start to move my fingers inside him. I'm trying to stretch him to some degree, because I don't want to hurt him, but it's like he doesn't want me to.
"Hold still for me... I don't want to hurt you," I whisper against him, and he calms down enough for me to slip a third finger into him. He hisses and mewls and I begin to thrust them in and out of him. His erection is jutting in the air almost angrily and I know he's going to come soon. Fuck, I probably will too, with the noises he's making.
"Matty, please, now," he's breathing hard through his nose and his hand takes my wrist to pull me out of him. He's almost glaring at me in the dark, and I can see the concentrated desire in his face. He needs this... I need this...
I get up off him and shimmy my boxers down my legs as I tear the condom open and roll it over my pulsating cock. I feel especially nervous because of my size - it's not like I'm bragging, it's just the truth - and I don't want to hurt him... God, I'm so fucking horny right now. As I pour lube in my hand and slick myself with it, I feel like I'm going to come right the fuck there. But no, I want to come in Jeff, in my own flesh and blood, the way he begged me to...
I get back on the bed and Jeff is on his hands and knees for me, his ass in the air. He turns to look back and me and cries out when I push my dripping fingers into him just long enough to add the extra lube. Then I grab his hips and press myself to him and he's hissing through his teeth because I'm hesitating.
"I don't want to hurt you," I whisper, and he moans before he answers.
"Matt, please, Jesus Christ, just do it. I'll tell you to stop if it hurts, just go slow." He's leaning forward onto his elbows, and then I steady my cock with one hand and push in. He moans deep in his throat and my eyes close as the tightest, wettest heat imaginable begins to envelop me. I force myself to stop, wrapping my hand around myself to keep from just thrusting into him. He's whimpering sporadically and I begin to rock my hips, sliding deeper into him with each movement. It's slow and it makes me want to die, but Jeff's not making any noises of pain. Yet.
I'm a little more than halfway in and he's mewling pretty much nonstop. Blood is roaring in my ears and all I want in this world is to just fuck the life out of him. I force my eyes shut and I hear him muffle a scream as I slide in to the hilt in one movement. Oh fuck, oh God, he's so tight, wet, this is everything that anyone could ever want, oh my baby Jeff, my Jeff-
"Fuck me! Matt!" his voice is hoarse and cracking with pure need and I don't hold back anymore. My hands slide over the smooth skin of his bare hips and I withdraw almost the whole way before thrusting back into him. He's begging me with the noises spilling from his throat and I know I'm growling. Another thrust, and another, and then I'm fucking the life out of him and he is stuffing a pillow in his mouth to keep from screaming.
It feels so perfect, the way he fits around me, the way his soft body divides for my cock. He is mumbling words now, but I can't pay attention to them fully. I feel like I'm going to die. And who knows, maybe I am... God knows this is wrong enough to send me to Hell for...
"Matty," Jeff is spasming around me and his whole body tightens up and I know he's coming without either of us even touching his dick. He's thrusting back against me and then he goes slightly limp in my grasp. I wrap an arm around his waist to keep him kneeling as I continue. I last maybe a minute longer than he does, and the last few thrusts are particularly brutal. Jeff cries out again and bucks against me as I fuck him with absolutely no mercy and then I come, slamming into him with every ounce of strength I have. It sounds like he's sobbing and crying my name, and I know I'm screaming his as I ejaculate as deep into his body as I can manage.
He collapses then, and I on top of him, my whole body feeling like it's trying to go out through my cock. I've never come like this before in my life and I just ride the pleasure as it washes around me.
It's probably a whole minute before I come back to the scene at hand; Jeff is crumpled beneath me, we're both gasping, and I'm beginning to go soft. Gripping the rim of the condom, I carefully pull out of him and get up shakily. My legs threaten to give out on me, but I manage to wrap the condom in a tissue and throw it out and then wipe myself off before falling onto the bed beside Jeff.
I reach out to pet him and he rolls over to face me, smiling beautifully. His body is limp and spent and I feel perfectly sated. I look at him for a minute.
"Did you come on the bed?" I ask. He shakes his head.
"No... I used a sock. It's on the floor now." I laugh softly and he buries his face in my chest. I wrap my arms around him and hold him to me, stroking his soft hair and feeling like this is the best thing that's ever happened.
"Matt, if this is wrong... then why..." he doesn't finish his question. I kiss the top of his head and think hard before answering. There's really only one answer I can give him.
"That's why this is the only time it will happen," I reply, my very heart breaking as I utter the words. He goes deathly quiet, and squeezes me tightly. I feel him shift as he looks up at me and we kiss again, chastely and very slowly. When he pulls away, I see tears shining on his cheeks. I try to kiss him again, but he's untangling himself from me and getting up off the bed. I let him go and he stops at the door for just a second. I don't call him back and then he speaks, his voice thick.
"I love you, Matty." Then he leaves, gone, the door closed before I can even absorb what he just said. I feel my eyes get tight and I know I'm going to cry.
"I love you too, Jeff."