Disclaimer: Jagex owns everything regarding Runescape. I only borrow my avatar for the short time that I experience the gaming world they wholly own.
The Annals of Aragast
Chapter 1 – I Get Bored.
Becoming a better woodcutter, cook, and fisherman are extremely tedious and boring chores, I think to myself. I am a budding warrior here in Lumbridge. There must be something better for me to do. I can't spend all of my time chopping and slashing at dummies in the local training school. I need authentic action. I need to fight real monsters and rescue maidens in distress to become a great warrior. I realize this all takes money and that the simple chores I do help bring in money to buy my weapons and armor, but someone must need an adventurer like me for some quest.
I am sorely in need of guidance in my life, so I head to the local parish of Saradomin. I kneel in prayer to ask for enlightenment. Just as my legs start to fall asleep on the hard floor, I am approached by the parish priest, Father Aereck.
"You look like a young adventurous type," he states. "Would you like to help me with a small problem we are having."
My prayers have been answered! I tell him I certainly would be honored to help him with his problem if he would tell me more.
"We are having a small problem with a ghost in our graveyard," he says in a low voice, "Could you help get rid of it."
This puts me into a bit of a dilemma. I have no experience with ghosts. How am I going to get rid of one? I ask Father Aereck to continue.
"The ghost is causing our parishioners to avoid coming to high mass," he continues. "And so the collection basket is getting a bit light. If you go find Father Urnhey in the swamps south of town, he can tell you more about the ghost."
As he goes on about falling revenues, I begin lose faith in my chosen religion. Is it all really about the money? Before I become an atheist, I interrupt and tell Father Aereck that I will gladly accept his quest and go find Father Urnhey.
I travel south with a bit a trepidation. I have never travelled outside the confines of Lumbridge. What will I meet out here? Will I be waylaid by bandits, swamp fiends, or other undesirable denizens of the swamp? I hear rustling in the bush and turn quickly, sword drawn. It was only a swamp rat. Nothing to fear there, I can handle a simple swamp rat. I continue along the path looking for the hut of Father Urnhey.
I pass a mine, where I wave to some of my colleagues who are sweating out the copper and tin ore. Finally, I reach the hut of Father Urnhey. I enter to find a grimy, mumbling priest who is bit misanthropic. I ask him about ghosts and he goes on and on about the subject. I interrupt him and ask him to get to the point. He hands me an amulet and tells me I can talk to ghosts with it. I thank him and leave quickly.
I run back to the graveyard and search for the ghost. It is a bit spooky, but I being on a quest for Saradimin I feel protected. I open a casket and surprised by a ghost who materializes beside me. I talk to the ghost and come to realize he is the one terrorizing the parish. He goes on and on with some sob story about how he lost his head and can't rest until it is reunited with the rest of his body. I start getting bored with all the whining. Does everyone I meet want to tell me their life story or in this case a death story? Why can't people or ghosts get to the point? I agree to help him find his head.
"My head is located in the swamp," the ghost groans, sending me further on my quest.
Wonderful, I think to myself. Back to the stinking swamp I go. Adventuring seems to be just as boring as chopping wood. So I go back to the swamp, and search, and search, and search some more. Finally I find a skull under a huge boulder. Could this be the skull I have been searching for?
I grab the skull. I am in shock that it is so easy. But then the ground starts to rumble and shake, and arising from the ground is a skeletal mage with an eerie green aura! Holy crap! I am going to get slaughter on my first quest. As I prepare to be vaporized in a heroic rush by the mage's green fireball, an unknown warrior appears. With one sword blow, he destroys the mage and runs away. I am relieved but irritated. That was my monster to kill. Nuts, how am I going to get experience in killing monsters if someone else takes the kill?
Disenchanted, I return the skull to the ghost. He thanks me and dematerializes. I return to the priest, who rewards with some moldy, old bones. Gee, thanks Father, I think to myself. I was really hoping for something with a little more heft. He then offers me a choice of a new gravestone. Wonderful, it is obvious with this offer he doesn't expect me to survive long. Thoroughly hurt and confused, I return to the forest, to cut wood and dream of bigger things in my future. Maybe next time, I will actually get to fight something!