The Only Thing
Prologue
Gutt looked back at his new crew. All the old washed up pirates still aboard. The new crew was the depressed violent mole hog Kylie, the 'too kind' naïve weasel Diesel, the green feathered idiot Josiah, the vicious yet weird mammoth Carrella and Gorilla, Flynn's identical twin.
Kylie sat twiddling her dagger in between her claws. She was snapped out of her day dreaming when Diesel pole vaulted over to Gutt. "Why don't you try that, Kylie?" She snapped, Kylie scoffing and rolling her eyes. "Sir, I think I found their island! They're living at Switchback Cove." Diesel smiled, pointing into the horizon where, just in front of the setting sun, was the silhouette of Switchback cove.
"Very good, Diesel. Now get out of my sight."
"Yes Cap'n." Diesel sighed, crawling back down from the front of the ship.
"Who's in the bad books now, Diesel?" Kylie taunted.
"First mate, summon the pushing power."
"Aye aye, sir." Carrella saluted, then trumpeted loudly, and the whale thingies cane up from the water and started propelling the ship.
…
On Switchback Cove, Sid wondered the lands, feeling completely lonely. On the right side of him, there was loud rustling in the bushes. On the left, he swore he heard loud giggling.
Sid spun around, looking for the source of the noise. Before he could find out, he was scared half to death by a flurry of white. He turned to see an arctic fox laughing her head off. "Oh god, you should have seen your face!"
"Honey, I've told you enough times already, don't sneak up on me!" Honey smirked when she saw a certain someone standing right behind Sid. When he turned around, he screamed and fainted after noticing Peaches face right in his. Peaches laughed and high fived Honey.
"No offence, but you reek." Honey whispered at Sid before the two teens trotted off. As they were walking, a trail popped up beside them and out popped none other than their little friend Louis.
"Hello, my little spiny friend, and how are things in the burrow?" Honey asked with a smirk.
"Not good, thanks to you."
"What'd I do, I'm just the friendly neighborhood arctic!"
"You've been running around stepping on my head! Like I don't have enough underground problems already!"
"Oh, c'mon Louis, Honey's just joking." Louis sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "And besides, a bump on the heads not as bad as a squish of the brain! Would you rather a mammoth sit on you or a fox step on you?"
"Oh, whatever, you win." Louis scowled at Peaches and pulled himself out of his hole and began walking beside them. "So, just out of curiosity, where are we going exactly?"
"Why? You scared? You scared we're gonna get lost?" Honey teased.
"Why are you always so mean to me?" Louis asked, earning a small whack on the nose from Honey. Peaches looked down at them.
"Honey, just leave Louis alone."
"Thank you, Peaches."
"And Louis, we're going down to the beach." At that moment, the ground violently shook for about 5 seconds.
"Oh, don't tell me the earth is breaking up again." Honey scowled, and then looked at the ground. "STOP SHAKING YOU ANNOYING GROUND EARTH THING!" Louis and Peaches both loudly 'shh'ed her as they both stared in one direction. A furry animal lay before them, curled into a ball. At least, they assumed it was an animal. Skeptically, Louis picked a stick up from the ground and prodded the ball of fur. They backed up when there was no reaction at all. Honey backed up into a rock, which tumbled over, and a pineapple with a REALLY ugly face drawn on rolled past them and over to the furry thing. Peaches stared, before snapping a branch off of a nearby tree and hit the ball with it.
"Peaches!" Louis scowled.
"What? I was checking if it was alive!" The thing moaned. "It's alive."
"Oh no, like Frankenstein's monster." Honey said in a very derp tone.
"Excuse me, animal thing-person?" Louis asked.
"Please, Louis, let the professionals handle this." Honey scoffed, before turning to the animal and yelling. "GET UP YOU LAZY BUM! UP! UP! UP! UP!" The thing flipped out of its ball formation and Honey jumped back and smirked. "Told ya."
"Where'd it go?" Peaches asked. It took her a second to realize there was something on her head, as the animal looked her in the eye. She screamed and it jumped off of her. It was a weasel with a leaf eye patch, with brown and beige fur.
"For god's sake, if you're going to scream at least do it in someone else's ears, I have a splitting headache."
"Who are you?" Louis asked.
"Oh, straight to the point, I get it. The name's Buck. Short for Buckminster. And this is my lovely wife, Liz." He said, picking up the pineapple they'd seen earlier and stroking it.
"Why is there an ugly face drawn on it?" Buck gasped at Honey's question and blocked the pineapple's 'ears'.
"Shush! It's not drawn on! She can't help the way her facial features became!" All three of them looked at each other, thinking the same thing, and then back at Buck.
"And you can't help that you're from the crazy side of the institute, mate." Honey imitated his British accent.
"That's not the slightest bit amusing, love." Buck shook his head and began to walk away.
"Hang on…Are you the Buck that my dad's always mentioning?"
"Depends who your dad is."
"His name's Manny." Buck looked at her skeptically for a second, before cracking a smile.
"Well, c'mon! Take me to 'im!" He barked, Peaches smiling and turning around to lead Buck back to their herd, Louis and Honey standing behind confused.
"What just happened there?"
"I think she just lead a mental weasel to our herd." Honey said, before the two followed behind them.
Back where the herd was, Manny was pacing. "I hope Peaches is okay. And if Sid's gotten himself into trouble again, I will be so mad at him."
"I'm sure Peaches will be alright, Manny, stop worrying. And Sid…well, I can't say for sure." Ellie reassured Manny, before they were interrupted by the screaming of Crash and Eddie as the possums climbed onto Ellie's tusks, Shira entering not long after, growling.
"Hey, whoa, whoa, what is happening here?"
"Oh nothing really, just Shira trying to KILL US!" Crash exclaimed, folding his arms over his chest.
"Yeah, I thought you had your rabies under control, jeez." Eddie scowled. Shira took a threatening step forward and both possums hid behind Ellie's head.
"What did you two idiots do this time?" Diego asked from his place on a rock not far from them.
"They threw rocks at me while I was hunting. Scared away a perfectly good meal!" Shira huffed, "I bet that THEY would make a perfectly good meal."
"No, we taste disgusting!" Eddie chirped.
"And we carry diseases!" Crash added, fist-bumping his brother. Shira rolled her eyes as Diego rose from his rock and stepped outside of their cave shelter. The moment he and Shira stepped outside, a figure swung right past them, and about ten seconds later, Peaches, Louis and Honey appeared. Peaches pranced to her father.
"Dad, you are never gonna believe who we met today!"
"A blur?" Shira asked.
"No, silly." Peaches said to her auntie, before turning to Manny again, "Buck! From where I was born!"
"Wait, what?" Diego asked, walking over to them.
"It's true, he was so insane!" Honey laughed.
"Why does he have a pineapple with a face drawn on it?" Louis questioned, before Ellie replied,
"It's his wife." Honey and Peaches exchanged looks.
"Are you sure it's the right Buck?" About two seconds later they heard a loud 'yee-haw' and Diego turned to Manny.
"Yep." He smirked, as, brushing himself off, appeared Buck.
"You're alive!" Crash and Eddie both gasped.
"Um, yeah, what were you expecting, a walking carcass?" Ellie joked.
"I hate those." Buck confessed, shaking his head, putting his Pineapple against a rock. "How ya doing?"
"Great! We have a few new members if you may have noticed."
"Oh, she's new?" Buck asked, pointing at Shira. "I just thought I was seeing two Diego's."
"They're not even the same colour!" Manny said.
"Yes they are!" Buck replied.
"I forgot about your brain damage. How long has it been since you lost your mind now?"
"However old Peaches is plus three months."Buck sighed. "I still don't know where the heck I put it."
…
As the pirate's ship pulled up at the shore on Switchback Cove, Gutt jumped off, and Diesel kicked Kylie off of the side onto the sand, before laughing and pointing, until Raz pushed her off and repeated the same routine.
"They're here. I can smell them."
"What do they smell like, sir?" Flynn asked, standing beside Gupta and Squint.
"Revenge."
"What does revenge smell like?" Flynn then asked the two beside him. Squint and Gupta rolled their eyes and shook their heads at Flynn's stupidity.
Gutt smiled, before leading his crew forwards through the forest.
The first chapter of the remake! It's a lot different and I hope you like it.