Sing Off

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Set at beginning of Breaking Dawn...AU.

Quil spun round in a circle and fell flat on his ass. He glared at Embry as his friend began to laugh at him. "This is not remotely funny." He snapped as he leapt easily to his feet. He punched Embry in the shoulder and turned his irritation on Jacob. "Dude, I just can't do it."

"Try again." Jacob ordered him. Jeez, how hard was it to spin round? Even Bella could do it and that was saying something considering it was well known she couldn't walk across a flat surface without pitching forward. So Quil shouldn't have a problem. Jacob was certain he was tripping deliberately to avoid taking part. "You're a freakin' werewolf, Quil. I don't see you falling on your rump when you are on all fours."

"There you go." Quil was willing to grasp at any straw as long as it got him out of this stupid situation. "I only have two legs, I obviously need to phase. My wolf has a better voice then I do." He perked up at this inane suggestion and began to demonstrate his idea by dropping onto his hands and knees and howling.

Jacob clenched his teeth and kicked Quil on the butt sending him sprawling forward. "Be serious. This is important. Bella's life is at stake here." He fumed.

Quil rolled onto his back, rubbing his nose irritably. Embry was bent double with laughter; inflaming both his and Jacob's tempers. "Whose lame suggestion was this anyway?" Quil complained. "I mean how is this..." He gestured toward both himself, Jacob and Embry. "Going to save Bella? It's utterly ridiculous. The best that will happen is that we'll deafen her and anyone in a hundred mile radius. That's if Charlie doesn't arrest us for crimes against singing."

"My dad said..." Jacob began before clamping his mouth shut when he heard the collective groans from his friends.

"Billy told you to do this?" Quil rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"And you took him seriously?" Embry folded his arms and shook his head. "He's yanking your chain, Jake. And getting us to look like fools in the process."

"My dad would not lead me wrong on this. He knows how important it is." Jacob snapped defensively. He had thought the idea was crazy when Billy had first suggested it, but after thinking it through, it sounded more appealing. It had worked with his mom after all. Apparently Billy had serenaded Sarah and she had been so impressed with his grand gesture that she had got down on one knee and proposed. Well that was his dad's version anyway. Jacob vaguely remembered his mom saying something a little different, but his memory was hazy on the details. Anyway girls loved romantic gestures, and that nauseating bloodsucker had written Bella some kind of drippy lullaby, and she got all gooey and goggle eyed when she spoke about it, that there had to be something in what his dad said. What he had planned would trump the leech's pathetic sonnet thingy. Bella would swoon and definitely fall into his arms. "Now Quil try again."

"For goodness sake." Quil grumbled. "Who put you in charge?"

"The great spirits in the sky." Jacob narrowed his eyes and waited impatiently for Quil to spin round.

"Why can't you do this alone?" Quil sighed heavily as he spun round and tripped over his large feet again. He landed with a thump on the ground, sending Embry into hysterics again.

"Because they are a group. It would look stupid just me on my own." Jacob grabbed the collar of Quil's shirt and dragged him upright again.

"Yes, but there were four of them, weren't there?" Quil dusted himself down before punching Embry in the shoulder for a second time. "There are only three of us."

"It will have to do. Quit complaining." Jacob said tetchily. "Now do it again."

Quil groaned in annoyance before spinning round so fast he stumbled and knocked into Embry, causing them both to fall to the ground. Jacob put a hand over his face and sighed heavily. Why did he have to be blessed with such uncoordinated friends? "Please whoever is up there listening, let this work out? Please?" He prayed in his head.

Bella looked at her dad suspiciously. He was sitting at the kitchen table fiddling with his old camcorder, it was so ancient that it took VHS video tapes. He hadn't used it in years. Why was he tinkering with it now? "You aren't planning on using that hideous old thing to film my wedding, are you?" She demanded. How embarrassing would that be? With all the Cullen's sophisticated technology being put into play; for her own dad to walk about with that hideous specimen would be the ultimate in mortification.

Charlie grunted as he pulled out an old tape and shoved it in the slot. "What wedding?" He mumbled under his breath.

"Don't start..." Bella stopped when she saw he wasn't listening. Typical? She shot him a glare and marched out of the kitchen. He would get used to the idea in time. She was sure of it.

Charlie had the camcorder perched on his shoulder and his cell phone in the other hand. The tape was loaded and ready. "When are they getting here?" He demanded as he leaned out of his bedroom window and peered down at the ground. "This thing weighs a ton."

"Well if you weren't so tight with money and actually opened your wallet once in a while, you could have been using a nice, light digital recorder instead of that old thing." Billy's voice screeched in his ear.

"Dammit, Billy. You insult this superior piece of technology one more time and I swear I'll..." Charlie stopped talking when he saw a rustling in the bushes. A sly grin crossed his face as he adjusted the heavy camcorder on his shoulder and leaned out of the window a little further. He wanted to get the best view. This would be something he and Billy could laugh about for years, and be a good thing to hold over Jacob's head in case he stepped out of line. Charlie chuckled to himself in glee. "They're here." He whispered to Billy.

"Great." Billy wheezed as he tried to hold in his laughter. "Make sure you capture it all, Chief."

"Oh, I will." Charlie promised. "You bet I will."

Embry tugged on the collar of his white shirt. It felt constricting around his neck. He glanced to the side to find that Quil was doing the same. Embry had to shield his eyes from the glare of Quil's silver suit, it was so shiny it blinded people when the material caught the light. It looked dead uncomfortable too. "Where did you get that horrible thing?" He whispered to his friend.

Quil glared at him. "This belongs to my grandfather. He wore it when he married my grandmother." He said defensively.

"That was Old Quil's? Ugh." Embry pulled a face. "No wonder it smells of mothballs."

"How dare you?" Quil retorted, feeling offended. "I couldn't find anything that looked like it came from the seventies."

"Your grandfather probably bought that in the dark ages. Eww..." Embry shuddered.

"Well its better than that ruffled shirt and tux combo you've got on. The trousers are too short and the sleeves on the jacket only come to your elbows." Quil snickered.

"Fuck off, Quil." Embry hissed. "This was all I could get. I thought lover boy would have at least provided the costumes, but no, get something that looks like its from the seventies, is all he said." He mimicked Jacob's voice to a tee.

Jacob could hear every word they were saying. He turned and glared at them. "Quit complaining." He looked down at his own tight fitting suit. He had raided his dad's wardrobe and had been forced to squeeze his large frame into a pair of tight trousers and jacket. His dad had refused to spend any money on hiring one. Skinflint, he thought to himself. Jacob adjusted the CD recorder and slipped in the disc. He had given up on trying to learn the damn song, his voice was terrible, and that was saying something. Quil and Embry were so tone deaf that they had scared the birds out of the trees with their warbling. They had decided to lip synch the words instead. "Now are you idiots ready?"

"NO." Quil and Embry said in unison.

"Too bad." Jacob gestured for them to follow him as he strode out into the open and placed the CD recorder under Bella's bedroom window and pressed play.

Up in his room Charlie was shaking with laughter. The camcorder nearly fell from his grasp as he tried to regain control. "What the hell are they dressed in?" He said to Billy. "Jake looks like he is going to bust out of that suit he's wearing. That's the suit you used to wear in the sixties wasn't it? He's got the wrong decade."

"That was a good suit." Billy grouched. "That lasted me through my lady killing days right until my wedding."

"Yeah, you definitely killed the ladies with laughter when they saw you busting your terrible dance moves on the floor." Charlie laughed harder as he became lost in memories. "It's a wonder you ever pulled at all."

"Says the man who used to turn red like a boiled cabbage when any girl gave him the time of day. They all used to think you had permanent sunburn." Billy retorted.

They began to bicker, nearly causing Charlie to miss the opening part of the performance. He told Billy to hush as he leaned far out of the window and pointed his camcorder at the three boys.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When its cold outside I've got the month of May...

Bella's head shot up when she heard the opening bars to one of her favourite songs. She was sitting at her desk catching up on homework. Edward's lullaby was playing quietly in the background.

I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way...

Bella listened intently for a moment before she got up and switched off Edward's lullaby. The strains of My Girl by The Temptations continued...My Girl, my girl (my girl, my girl), Talkin' about my girl (my girl)...

Huh? It was coming from outside. Bella cautiously opened her bedroom window and peered outside. She nearly fell out when she saw Jacob and his friends, dressed in the weirdest clothes she had ever seen, parading up and down in a line, clicking their fingers and mouthing the words to the song as they looked up at her window. When Jacob caught sight of her he grinned and winked at her before spinning round in a circle. Embry followed him, but when it came to Quil's turn he tripped and fell on his ass. Bella clamped a hand over her mouth to hide the laughter as she watched Jacob glare at his friend before stepping forward so he was right underneath her window and his arms held up toward her. He swayed from side to side as he continued to lip synch the words.

I've got so much honey the bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song then the birds in the trees...

Bella couldn't believe he was doing this. It was the most romantic and adorably sweet thing that anyone had ever done for her. It put Edward's expensive grand gestures in the shade. She leaned out further and waved at him; her eyes alight with happiness and love. Jacob winked at her again as he continued to sway and snap his fingers. Embry and Quil were spinning behind him, bumping against each other as they turned. Bella giggled as she watched Quil shove Embry out of his way when they collided for the hundredth time.

Well, I'd guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way...Jacob stopped singing and gazed at her imploringly with his dark eyes. "Will you be my girl, Bella Swan? Please?" He held out his arms toward her again.

How could she resist that? Bella leaned further out, her hands cupping her mouth as she yelled her answer at him. "Yes. Yes I'll be your girl..." She then blew him a kiss.

Jacob caught it and placed it over his heart. Bella stared down at him literally swooning.

Charlie was having a great time as he gave a running commentary to Billy about what was unfolding below his window. He adjusted the camcorder again and leaned far out so he could zoom in on his little girl half hanging out the window. She looked on the verge of falling out. He couldn't have that. "Watch out, kiddo." He called to her. Unfortunately he had twisted round at an awkward angle, and with the ancient heavy camcorder perched on his shoulder, he lost his balance.

Quil was just getting up from his latest fall when a large heavy metal object fell on his head, effectively knocking him out cold. Jacob still had his arms out toward Bella, which was lucky, because it meant instead of catching the girl he loved in his arms, he caught her father instead. Charlie fell into Jacob's arms and knocked them both flat to the ground.

"You old fool." Billy complained as he passed Charlie a beer. "You broke the video. I'll never get to see it now."

Charlie glared at his old friend as he adjusted his leg on the couch. It was broken in two places. "Don't concern yourself over my injuries will you?"

"It's a wonder you didn't break Jake to bits you buffoon." Billy griped. "You're lucky that he is a strong lad and that Quil Ateara has a hard head."

"Where are our offspring anyway?" Charlie questioned suspiciously. "They are supposed to be looking after me."

"In Bella's bedroom taking advantage of the fact you can't climb the stairs." Billy began to cackle like an old women as Charlie's face went bright red like a boiled cabbage. Oh yes, this was just like the old days, Billy thought to himself.

The End...