Today I am visiting my sister and I have so much on my mind. Over the years of Charlotte's hospitalization, she has been like the sister I always wanted. This is why I asked the girls to come back to testify so she could be released and live a normal life, well as normal as possible after everything we all be through including her. Emily was among the last to back home and I was really excited for the possibility of being an 'us' again. I know the back and forth began to strain our feelings, but I feel ready this time around. Ready to love her like she should be loved and have her love me. Yet, that all was thrown out the window the moment the girls and I were all introduced to Danielle or Dani for short.

"Hey Ali," CeCe greets me with a hug.

"Hey, how are you doing today?"

"Today's a good day. I'm taking my meds like I'm supposed to, going to therapy, and feeling a lot better. What about you? How has bonding with the girls been?"

"It's just been. It's taking more to convince them then I would like, but I understand their hesitance. It's been a torment-free five years and I get how they want to keep it that way," I smile sadly at my sister.

"I promise Ali, that it won't be me. I am truly sorry for everything and it won't happen again," she reassures with nothing but honestly in her eyes.

"I know, trust me I know. Unfortunately, I am the only one who knows, unlike the girls who want so much to believe that, but are struggling. But don't worry okay? We still have a few more weeks and once you guys actually interact, they may think differently."

"I hope you're right. So what was on your mind when I first got here? I know that look and you were lost in though. What's going on?" I look at her with a sad expression before spilling my guts. I tell her about what I had hoped to happen, what is happening, and not knowing what is going to happen. I tell her about Em's new gf who hates me and how I want Em to be mine, but how that will never happen again. I tell her how Emily has changed since moving away and now that she's back, she's so distant and kinda cold.

"Ali. Ali, listen to me sweetie. Do you still love Emily?" I nod my head in affirmation as tears continue to run down my face. "Then, tell her Ali, like right now. Fight for her. I know she went through a lot over the last few years, and so much was my fault, but she deserves to be happy, they all do, including you. You never know unless you try, and I know she's with some girl who sounds like a total bitch for not liking you, but she deserves to know. I read the diary entries and the notes, I know she loves you, maybe she still do, and I know you love her. So get off you ass and do something about it." We continue our visit before Charlotte is made to get ready for dinner and her meds. On the way home I text Emily, asking if we can meet up for dinner, just the two of us and she surprisingly agrees. Hopefully, everything goes well, but for now I just need to get this all off my chest.

EAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEA

I finished setting the table when I hear the doorbell. I walk to open the door to the love of my life. My breath hitch as I take in her beauty, with her long silky hair in curls, white floral tank, and black ripped jeans to die for. She looked absolutely stunning, and I can't help just taking it all in for a few moments.

"Hey Alison," she smiles slightly. Gosh I miss her smile and how it used to light up a room.

"Hi Emily. Come on in, dinner's almost ready," I say stepping aside to let her in. She takes a seat on one end of the table, while I start bringing everything to the table, including roast, potatoes, steamed vegetables, and white wine. Pretty soon we are having small talk over dinner, and I do mean small talk with her limited words and eye contact avoidance.

"Emily, are you okay?"

"Why would you ask that? Of course," she says in a monotone.

"Em, you can always talk to me. What's going on? I know you've been through a lot, but that what friends are for, to be there for you when you need them," I explain.

"I'm fine Ali, okay? Nothing is wrong with me. I really wish you and my mom and EVERYBODY would stop asking me if I'm okay. I am fine, okay? It seems like Aria and Hanna are the only one who knows when to just leave it alone so drop it," her tone a little harsher then I anticipated.

"Okay, I just want you to know I am here if you ever need me." She nods her head before looking away. "There is a reason I asked you here tonight though. I, uhm, wanted to tell you something that I have been meaning to tell you for awhile now."

"If it's about the hearing thing, I'm gonna be honest and hopefully that's enough," she groans at the whole reason why she and the others are back here.

"No, no it's not about that at all. You see over the past few years I have been hiding for fear that I didn't deserve to be happy or that everyone would be better off without me being around. So I kind of closed myself off and I know when I first came back that it affected you more than anyone else, though I know the girls were affected also. And I want you to know I am so so so very sorry Em, for everything. I guess what it all comes down to is the fact that," I pause because this is so much harder than I originally thought.

"Ali, what it is?" she asks genuine curiosity on her gorgeous face. I don't know how to say it, so I stand from my seat and walk towards her. She stands as well with a confused look, I stop right in front of her.

"Ali," she breaths. Without any other words, I pull her into a chaste kiss which was hesitant upon the first brush of our lips. We look in each other's eyes before SHE kisses me this time, so full love lust, passion, yearning, and dare I say love. After what felt like hours of pure bliss, we pull apart, enough to see into each others' eyes, but still close enough to breathe the same air.

"I love you Emily," I breathe out, my voice shaking a little.

"Ali, I- I have to go," she turns abruptly and leaves without another word. She left leaving me feeling rejected and broken.

EAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEA

It's been two weeks since I finally unloaded that unbelievable weight off my chest, just to be weighed down by something greater. To have the girl you've loved since high school, indirectly or otherwise tell you she doesn't feel the same, anymore at least, is the biggest heartbreak. When the girls would meet, I always refused to give Emily space and to give me space to heal my broken heart. Visiting CeCe on and off, on her good days kept me busy along with lesson plans for my incoming students. On this particular day, I decided to stay in and relax with a glass or two of wine and a movie night. Suddenly, I hear the doorbell and careful, not to get dizzy, rise up to go answer it. My heart stopped at the figure in front me with mascara running down her face, hair out of place, and a red face.

"Oh my gosh, Emily," I pull her inside and immediately go to the kitchen to get a warm towel for mark on her face. "What the hell happened Em?"

She starts crying, "After that night, I uhm, kind of threw myself into my relationship. I tried to just focus on her and her alone which she loved. When the girls wanted to hang out, I either came along with Dani attached or declined. But I uhm," she sighs in frustration. "I couldn't stop thinking about it, about you and then I started going back to our first kiss, our first time, and all my feelings I tried to bury a long time ago, resurfaced when you kissed me and I kissed back. I knew I had to end it a week ago, but I wanted to be sure, you know. Well, today I was beyond sure that Dani just wasn't the one. I told her about the kiss and she went on cursing and fussing and blaming you for everything. But when I finally ended it, actually telling her that it was over, she just got so angry," fresh tears rolled down her face. "S-she uhm, she slapped m-me and called me s-s-so many names. W-when she went t-t-to do it again, I caught her hand and pushed her away. She grabbed my j-jacket and ripped it when I tried to get away, I just shrugged it off and ran," she finishes, sobs wrecking her body. I pull her close to me and let her cry, all while thinking how bad I want to kill that bitch. When she finally calmed down enough, I put the warm towel on her bruising face and we just sat there.

"I chose you. Somehow when it all boils down, I always choose you Ali. I don't wanna regret choosing you, so please don't make me. If we do this, we cannot and I will not half-ass it. We have to be serious this time because I can't take another heartbreak, not after the few years I've had. So I'm coming to you to tell you," she looks up from where her head is laying on my chest. Then, she's kissing me, which shocks me at first, until I kiss make with more pressure and all the love I can muster in my heart, mind, and soul. We break apart, and resume the previous position from two weeks ago, breathing the same air, but looking deeply into chocolate and blue eyes.

"I love you so much Emily."

"I love you too Ali." The only thoughts going through my mind was thank you CeCe.