Finding Normal
This is my take on what happened at the end of season 2. I wrote most of it before it came out that Sam & Andy's suspension was three months & that timeline didn't fit my story, so I ignored that piece of info while finishing this. :) And, it was initially going to be a one-shot, but the ideas kept coming, so it'll be a few chapters.
I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think! :)
Chapter 1
"What happened?" Sam asked as Andy walked toward his truck.
"I got suspended," she said sadly. "You?"
He figured she faced the same fate as him, even though he blamed himself fully. He was the one who called her, invited her back. He's the one who got them both in trouble. He glanced away from her, pissed at himself, before answering. "I got yelled at…and then I got suspended."
"Sam," she said breathlessly. He knew she was blaming herself, maybe questioning the universe's plan for them.
"Wanna try being normal together?"
"How are we gonna do that?" Andy asked, her lips curving into a smile for the first time since she left Sam's undercover apartment the day before.
"I don't know. I have no idea," he replied, smiling. He didn't really know what normal was, but what he did know was he wanted whatever it was with Andy.
She smiled again as relief flooded through her body. She hadn't admitted it, but she was worried Sam would regret what they did. That what they shared while he was undercover would be swept under the 'it was what it was' rug and forgotten. She shivered as the cold snowy air traveled through her coat.
"Get in," Sam said reaching over to open the passenger door. Andy didn't miss the grimace he tried to hide from her as he leaned over.
She got in and was thankful for the hot air blasting through the truck's vents. "How long are you suspended?" she asked as she fidgeted with her gloved hands.
"Three weeks."
"Me too."
She didn't have to ask where he was taking her. He didn't have to ask if she wanted to come. They both just knew their destination was Sam's apartment. They rode in silence until Andy told him to pull over at a local pizza place so she could get them something to eat since she knew there'd be no food in his apartment. They were both too exhausted to cook anything anyway, but Andy insisted Sam eat something, knowing he probably hadn't eaten in at least 24 hours.
Silence continued as they arrived at Sam's and sat at the table eating. There was a lot to talk about, to discuss, to worry over, to be happy about, but tonight all of that could wait. They were tired. They were overwhelmed. They were happy they were both alive and just needed the comfort of being around each other.
"I'm gonna take a shower. There's pajama bottoms in the third drawer of my dresser if you want to borrow them," he said as they walked down the hall. Andy ignored him and followed him to the bathroom. Sam turned around to shut the door and took a step back, surprised Andy was standing there. "I can handle a shower on my own. You're tired, go to bed."
"No." She raised her hand so her fingers gently traced over the cut below his eye and the bruise surrounding it. Her fingers trailed lightly along his jaw before she slowly lowered her hand until it grazed the blue brace covering his left hand and wrist. She slid her fingers up down it, wondering what had happened to cause the need for a brace. She knew he'd been hurt, but no one had shared the details with her yet. Sam saw the look in her eyes and knew she wanted to see what else Brennan had done.
"Andy, you don't need to see this," he said, grabbing her wrist gently. "It's not going to make either of us feel better."
"I want to, Sam," she said softly. "Up." She nodded at his arms as she grabbed the bottom of his shirt in her hands. When he reluctantly complied, Andy slowly pulled his shirt over his head and Sam heard her breath hitch as the first of his bruises was revealed. She let her fingers hover over the large bruise on his stomach, taking note of the normally tanned skin that had become red and purple.
"I'm sorry," she said with a breathy air to her voice that was full of emotion.
"This isn't your fault. Boyd gave me incomplete information and a boat from a well-publicized arrest. That's what led to these bruises," he said. The knuckles on his good hand nudged her chin up so she'd look at him.
"Is there anything I can do?" she asked.
"Yes. Get in bed and wait for me while I take a shower. Just knowing you're here is all I need right now," he replied. She circled her arms gently around him, pulling him close before she kissed his cheek and backed out of the bathroom. Once she left, he shut the door and turned the shower on. Steam had started to fill the bathroom when he finally stepped under the hot spray of water. He closed his eyes and let the water pound the muscles on his back. He took a longer than usual shower, enjoying the hot assault of the water on his aching body. When he finally shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, the bathroom felt like a steam room. He dried off and swallowed a couple extra strength pain pills before heading to his bedroom.
Andy lay under the covers in his bed staring up at the ceiling while she waited for him to join her. She fidgeted with the drawstring of his pajama pants, tying it tighter so the oversized pants would stay on her, before tugging at the hem of his shirt that she wore.
Sam walked into the bedroom with a towel around his waist and his hair still damp from the shower. He fished pajama bottoms and a t-shirt out of his dresser and put them on quickly so Andy didn't have time to see the bruises again. He lay down next to her as she rolled onto her side to look at him.
"Sam..."
"Mmmm."
She wanted to talk to him, or better yet, have him talk to her. For him to tell her what happened, what had gone on with Brennan. But she saw the tiredness on his face and his eyelids start to droop.
"Nothing. It can wait 'till tomorrow," she said, rolling onto her back.
"Goodnight Andy," Sam said. His left hand ached, but his fingers stretched out to find Andy's hand and curled around her fingers.
"Goodnight Sam."
Talking could wait. They had time. She was just thankful to be able to even be with Sam right now. After the yelling they had each been on the receiving end of back at the station, both had heard the same speech from Frank. They were suspended for three weeks for conduct unbecoming, and while usually this came with a no contact order for the length of the suspension, that punishment was determined on a case by case basis. And by some lucky strike, Superintendent Peck had agreed with Frank that under the circumstances, since it was truly Boyd who ruined the operation, Sam and Andy would not be faced with that punishment. Meaning simply that they had three weeks with nothing to do but be with each other.
Andy watched as Sam's chest moved up and down, and as his breathing slowed, she knew he had fallen asleep. She closed her eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.
Sam began to thrash around in his sleep and Andy immediately woke when she felt him move. She placed a gentle hand on his side and tried to wake him up. "Sam, wake up. Sam." Still groggy, Andy's reflexes were slow and as Sam continued thrashing around, she wasn't able to get out of the way in time to avoid his arm connecting hard with her face. She yelped as her cheekbone stung in pain. Andy shook Sam, trying to wake him from whatever nightmare he was having. His eyes bolted open when she succeeded.
As if trying to remember where he was, Sam's eyes darted around the room, finally landing on Andy, who was rubbing her cheek. "You okay?" she asked.
Sam swallowed and took a deep breath. "Yeah. I'm good."
"Really? You were flopping around the bed like you were in a fight," she replied.
Sam rolled on his side to face her. "Was back in the warehouse with Brennan." Andy looked into Sam's eyes and knew there was more he wasn't saying, so she nodded, urging him to continue.
"Not the first time I've had nightmares after deep cover," he said, pausing briefly before continuing. "Usually they're not so vivid though."
"Anything I can do?" she asked, not knowing how to take away the pain of his nightmares. He said nothing, but moved closer and threw his arm around her to pull her flush against him.
It was only when their faces were inches apart that he noticed how red Andy's cheek was. He slid his hand up her body so he could rub his thumb over her cheek. "Did I do that?"
Andy smiled as she turned her face so she could place a kiss on the palm of his hand. "It's okay. You were asleep, didn't know what you were doing."
"Andy," he sighed. "I'm sorry." He leaned in to place soft kisses on her cheek, before nuzzling her nose with his. "I'm sorry," he repeated.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked about his nightmare. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He'd never had someone to talk about his nightmares with, no one on a personal level to talk about his UC assignments with. He didn't know what to say, how to talk about it. Andy didn't want to push him and when he remained silent, she shifted closer to him, resting her hand on his chest. "Try and get back to sleep." She kissed his shoulder before resting her head on the pillow. Sam laced his fingers with hers, bringing her hand to his lips briefly before their entwined fingers rested on his chest. For now, just feeling her next to him was all that he needed.
Andy woke the next morning still curled up next to Sam. She took a deep breath, thankful he had slept soundly through the rest of the night. She figured he'd wake up soon, but she wanted him to get every extra minute of sleep, so she quietly slid out of bed and grabbed her clothes, making her way to the bathroom. She found extra towels in a small linen closet and turned the shower on. The water turned warm quickly and she got in. She grabbed the soap and inhaled the scent. Not surprisingly, it smelled like Sam and she smiled. Her face quickly turned somber as she thought about how she almost was never able to smell his scent again. If he hadn't – if Brennan had – She tried to stop herself from thinking those thoughts, but she couldn't. She remembered what Traci had told her, how Brennan had his arm across Sam's throat and if they'd arrived a minute later, it might've been too late. One minute, a minute that would determine both of their futures.
She shook off those thoughts. She wanted to be positive and upbeat around Sam to help him put all this behind him. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives. Today was when they started to figure out what normal meant. And they had three weeks before they had to face everyone at the station. Maybe by then, the rumor mill will have moved on from them disobeying all the rules and seeing each other while he was undercover.
She quickly finished showering and put on the same clothes she wore the night before, thinking how they'd need to stop by Traci's so she could pick up some clothes and toiletries. Wait, what if he doesn't want me to stay over again? What if me suggesting it makes him feel smothered? she wondered. Maybe he'll want his space. Maybe, maybe I should just go back to staying at Traci's.
Sam woke up, feeling stiff and sore. He turned his head hoping to see Andy's face as he opened his eyes, but instead saw an empty bed. "Andy?" he called out. In the silence that came after, he heard the water running for the shower and smiled, happy she felt comfortable enough to use his shower. He stretched, trying to loosen some of the stiffness coursing through his body, and thought about what they'd do today. It was their first day of being normal, the first day of their future. He knew she was going to want to talk about what happened, what he'd been through. She'd probably heard some of it, but would want to hear it all from him. He wasn't sure he knew how to do that. He'd had to talk about stuff like this before to give official statements or be cleared by the department psychologist, but he'd never had to talk about it with someone who cared about him. He didn't know where he'd begin or how he'd get through it. Or how'd he'd admit how worried he'd been about her and what Brennan might have done to her. First things first though, he thought. We need to re-stock the fridge and Andy will need to pick up some clothes.
Andy walked back into the bedroom, throwing her hair up in a ponytail. "Morning," she said, noticing Sam was awake. "How do you feel?"
"Good, considering."
"What do you want to do today?"
"Well, we should probably stock up on stuff, like food and your clothes, so we don't have to leave the apartment again for a few days," he replied. Andy saw the glint in his eye about how he wanted to spend the next few days.
"You realize we're not doing that until you're healed," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Sam reached up to cup the back of her neck with his hand and pulled her toward him.
"Mmmhmm, sure," he mumbled as he kissed her. "Whatever you say." He kissed her again before she swatted at his chest playfully.
"Sam!" she squealed, pulling back. "Get up. I need coffee and you don't have any."
He pouted briefly, but realized she was right. They needed coffee. As he got up and got dressed, Andy thought back to what Sam had said, that they needed to get her clothes. He said it as nonchalantly as needing to get food. He said it like they didn't even need to discuss the fact she'd be staying with him. It made her relieved, excited and nervous all at the same time. There was a lot to think about, to talk about, but for today, tomorrow, maybe even the next day, she was just going to live in the moment with Sam at her side. His arm slipping around her waist pulled Andy out of her thoughts. "Ready to go?" he asked.
She nodded and they walked into the living room. "Oh, hang on a second, I need to check my messages," Sam said, grabbing his cell phone that he left charging overnight. Andy decided to do a quick inventory of the kitchen so she'd know what they'd need to get at the store.
"Hey Andy, when did you call me?" he called into the kitchen.
She nearly ran out of the kitchen, eyes wide open. "You can ignore that Sam. It's nothing, really." That only made him want to hear the message even more. She stood in front of him silently, worrying her bottom lip as he listened.
"Hey, uh, look I just wanted to say that I, I know that I've got a plan, ya know. And it's a great one. But screw it. Screw the plan because I don't want to save the good candy for later anymore, ya know. I want to drink the champagne now and...Okay, you've got three weeks, right? So, let's make'em count, starting tonight. I'm coming over."
Sam's lips curved into a smile as he stood staring at Andy. He hit 'end' on his phone, not caring about the other messages. "So, I'm the good candy and champagne, huh?"
Andy blushed, not feeling the same confidence now as she had when she made the call, despite what they'd already shared.
"Andy," he said, stepping closer and rubbing a hand up and down her arm. "After everything that's happened, you're nervous about a voicemail?"
"No, yes, no. I mean…" She sighed. "When I left that message I had just found out Leslie died. And she'd been saving this bottle of champagne that now she'd never be able to drink because she kept waiting for the right time. It made me think of you, of us. Made me wonder what I was waiting for."
He cupped her jaw with his good hand and placed a kiss on her lips. "Andy, you're my good candy. And I don't save my good candy for later."
"I'm learning not to save mine either," she said, smiling.
They ate breakfast at a nearby diner before heading to Traci's. She let herself into the apartment and was relieved to find Traci at work. She was still embarrassed about everything that had happened and didn't want to face even her best friend right now.
"So, this is where you've been living?" Sam asked, looking around the small living room.
"Yeah, the couch pulls out and it's oddly comfortable," she replied as she began to fill a large duffle bag with clothes.
"Is the condo you want still available?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know. I have to call the bank and the realtor since I missed my mortgage appointment." She disappeared down the hallway to grab her toiletries from bathroom.
Sam wanted to offer that she could stay at his place indefinitely instead of a crappy couch, but he worried it was too soon. They hadn't even been on a date yet or talked about what they were. There was no going back, but there was moving forward too quickly.
Andy came back into the room, dropping her toiletries in her bag before grabbing a pen and paper from Traci's desk. She quickly wrote a note to Traci, letting her know she'd be staying with Sam for a few days and not to worry. She stuck the note on the fridge and walked back into the living room to find Sam holding her duffle bag. "Ready?" he asked.
"Yup. Next stop, the grocery store."
As they walked down the aisles of the grocery store, Andy thought how oddly normal this was. They stopped in front of the juice and Sam placed a bottle of orange juice in the cart. She couldn't help but smile and think back to waking up in his UC apartment. "What?" he asked, seeing her grin.
"I thought only J.D. knew my juice preferences," she smirked.
He leaned across the cart to put a chaste kiss on her lips. "J.D. only knows Candace likes orange juice, but I know a lot more about what you like."
"Oh really?"
"I know you like two sugars and lots of cream in your coffee, that your favorite candy is Skittles," he said, walking around the cart. His breath tickled her ear when he continued. "How you worry your bottom lip when you're nervous. How you press your lips together and roll your eyes when you're annoyed with me." He laced his fingers with hers and whispered, "And how that sensitive spot on your neck makes you go crazy."
"Sam!" Her eyes went wide and a blush fell over her face.
"Just saying. I know you way better than J.D. knows Candace."
Andy shook her head smiling and stared at Sam's retreating form as he walked down the aisle to grab milk.
Andy insisted on unpacking the groceries herself so Sam didn't have to use his injured hand, which left him leaning back against the counter watching her. "What do you want for dinner tonight?" he asked.
"We could do easy, just heat up the pasta we bought," she suggested, as she put cereal in his cupboard.
"I wasn't lying when I told you I can cook. I can throw something else together."
Putting the last items away, she walked over and stood in front of him. She gently picked up his injured hand. "You need to heal. You're not going to if you keep trying to do stuff."
"Cooking isn't exactly difficult. I could do it with one hand tied behind my back," he joked. She tried to smile in response, but Sam could see it didn't reach her eyes that were filled with sadness and glued to the brace on his arm.
"Let's just do easy tonight, please," she quietly begged as her hand slid over his brace. "Just rest some and then you can cook all you want." She looked up at him and the smile returned to her face.
"Okay." Truthfully, he'd do anything she asked. He wanted to do anything for her. It was a weird feeling for him. He'd never felt this way about someone before.
He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her flush against him, grimacing a little as her body hit the bruise on his abdomen. "I'm fine," he said, seeing the concern in her eyes. He nuzzled her nose with his and kissed her before pushing them both away from the counter.
"I should call my sister, let her know I'm back. She worries when I'm undercover," he said, as they walked into the living room.
"Yeah, and I should call my dad before he hears about this from someone else. Do you mind if I…?" she asked, pointing in the direction of his bedroom. She wanted privacy in case she broke down while talking to her dad.
"You don't have to ask."
"I know, yeah, I just, well, um, yeah." Sam watched her walk down the hall flustered and couldn't help but chuckle.
Sighing, he pulled out his phone and lied down on the couch. Hitting speed dial, he waited until his sister answered. "Hey sis."
"Sam! Where are you? I thought you were undercover."
"I was, it ended a little abruptly, but I'm back and I'm okay," he said.
"Are you sure? Why did it end so soon?" she asked, not completely believing her brother.
"Things didn't go according to plan, but I'm fine. And I even got a few weeks of relaxation out of it," he replied, not wanting to tell her the entire truth of what happened.
"You should come down to visit if you have all this free time. Let me see for myself that you're alive and in one piece."
"Uh, yeah, well." Sam looked down at the brace on his hand, but his injuries weren't the only reason he didn't want to visit his sister right now. "I'm kinda busy."
"You just said you were relaxing."
"Yeah, I might be spending my free time with someone." Now he wished he never brought it up.
"Your rookie! She burned you again didn't she? Maybe met up with you undercover. That's why you're home so soon!" Sarah nearly screamed into the phone as she put the pieces together.
"Sarah, no, she didn't burn me. But yes, we're spending some time together. Now can we drop it, please?"
"You know I need to meet her sometime right?" she asked, not ready to let the subject drop.
Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. "Someday, okay. That's all I can give you right now. We didn't get together in the most normal of circumstances and we're just figuring out what normal is. And that doesn't include trips to see you right now."
"Fine," she huffed. "Just stay safe, okay? I love you little brother."
"I love you too Sarah. Goodbye."
Andy sat on Sam's bed and stared at her phone. She didn't know how she was going to tell her dad she had gotten suspended. She hit the speed dial for her dad and waited for him to answer. "Hey dad."
"Hi kiddo. How are you?"
"Been better. Dad, I have to tell you something."
He could hear the seriousness of her voice even if he couldn't see the solemn look on her face. "Andy, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm not hurt or anything, but well, I wanted you to hear about this from me." She didn't know how to say it, but decided it was like ripping a band-aid off; the quicker the better. "I got suspended, for three weeks."
Tommy stopped what he was doing and sat down. "What happened honey?"
"I ran into Sam while he was undercover a week ago, and saw him again two nights ago." She spoke softly, like a child admitting to cheating on a test.
"And?" Her father knew this wasn't all there was to the story.
"Sam got made. He says it wasn't because of me. Part of Sam's cover story included a boat seized in a high profile drug arrest years ago, but the guy Sam was trying to get caught us together. Whether or not I was the reason for him getting made, we totally broke the rules," she said and let out a huge sigh.
Tommy knew his daughter and her former training officer had feelings for each other from the way they looked at each other and the way he protected her. "You're a good copper. I know you wouldn't just break the rules for anyone. And Swarek's the same way. He might color outside the lines, but only when it really matters."
Andy understood what her father was hinting at. "We have horrible timing."
"Well, you're both alive and okay, right?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah, he's banged up, was tortured, but he'll be okay," she replied.
"Then you move on from this. Recognize what you did was stupid and move forward. We all make mistakes Andy," he said. "When you're feeling up to it, let me take you out to dinner, take the both of you out."
"Okay. Thanks dad. I love you."
"I love you too, kiddo."
She hung up and laid back on the bed. She was so sure her dad would scold her for being stupid. Instead, in his own way, he encouraged her relationship with Sam despite how stupid they'd been.
She walked back into the living room to find Sam lying on the couch with the television on some action movie. "How'd it go?" he asked when she came over to the couch.
"It was okay. He took it a lot better than I expected," she said, tossing her phone on the coffee table. "And Sarah?"
"I think she knew I wasn't telling her the whole story, but she's glad I'm home," he replied.
"C'mere," he said, wanting her to lie down with him. She carefully climbed over him, but hesitated before lying down.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Andy, you're not going to hurt me. I want you here next to me," he said, gently tugging on her arm. She slowly rested her body against Sam's right side, knowing his left was the side most injured. The arm Sam wrapped around her pulled her closer and she laid her head on his shoulder.
"Is this okay?" she asked, worried she was hurting him.
"It's perfect."
They silently watched the movie – something about bounty hunters trekking across country to find their suspect – for a while before Sam spoke. "Do you mind if we, uh, just shut out the world for a few days?" He didn't want to admit it, but he was tired, mentally and physically. He didn't want to be around lots of people making small talk. He didn't want to be explaining over and over what happened. He wanted easy. He just wanted Andy.
She saw the unspoken words in his eyes and she understood. "Just you and me."