Sans sat at his post, casually drinking from a bottle of ketchup as he awaited the human's arrival. He knew that, any moment now, a certain someone would burst out from the gates of the Ruins. Whether they would be a pure, innocent child or a bloodthirsty murderer… well, he was going to have to find out for himself.

He leaned back, stretched a bit, and let out a long sigh.

"well, its about time."

The skeleton trudged off in the direction of the RUINS, not knowing the surprises that awaited him.

A figure peeked out from behind the huge doors of the RUINS. They poked the snow at their feet and rubbed their fingers together. "Maybe I should've brought a coat…"

The human stepped out into the open, taking in the new view. They didn't know that there would be so many trees underground, and they hadn't in the least expected there to be snow. Awed, they continued on forward through the straight pathway. The trees towered above, giving the human an uneasy feeling. As they trudged on, they noticed a presence lurking nearby. Feeling a sense of discomfort and apprehensiveness, the human began to pick up the pace, nearly tripping over a sturdy piece of wood. They could catch glimpses of a dark figure following them.

Reaching a bridge, the human stopped. Someone had constructed bars to keep intruders out, but…

The mystery figure had caught up. Shivers went down the spine of the human as a low voice hummed, "HUMAN."

The voice continued, "DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO GREET A NEW PAL?"

The human gulped, completely rooted to their position. Toriel had warned them about the dangers of the Underground, but still…

"TURN AROUND AND SHAKE MY HAND."

The human obeyed, slowly facing the monster, reaching for their hand.

A loud farting noise was then produced as the mysterious figure laughed.

"hehe… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick." the skeleton chuckled, "it's ALWAYS funn-"

A mixed expression was plastered over the skeleton's face as his smiled faltered a bit. The human… the human was…

The human wasn't Frisk.

With large brown eyes and rosy cheeks, the small figure looked up at Sans. He hadn't noticed it before, but this new human was slightly taller than Frisk (maybe by a couple of inches). Her chocolate hair fell down to her shoulders, and she wore a comfy blue sweater and purple tights. Sans stared at the human, unable to respond.

"A… skeleton?"

Sans snapped out of his stupor, giving the human a nervous laugh. "yeah, im a skeleton. the name's sans…" He quickly shoved his hands in his blue sweater. What was going on? Where's Frisk? And more importantly…

"did you meet another kid while you were coming over?" Sans asked.

The girl's eyes widened and she hesitated for a moment, almost as if she was contemplating something, before shaking her head. Sans sighed, and patted the human's head, "thanks kiddo."

The human shook her head violently, then pointed an accusing finger at the monster. "I'm not a kid!" She huffed angrily, "I'm 19!" Sans stared at the supposedly 19 year old girl and tried to suppress his laughter.

"yeah, real funny kiddo. you're a pretty humerus person."

"I'M BEING SERIOU- Oh. My. God." The human pouted, "Did. You. Just."

Sans' grin spread a little wider. He then noticed that the human, too, was smiling.

"Oh ho ho ho ho," she laughed, "Ohhhh you did NOT just challenge me to a pun-off. I'm, like, the Queen of Puns." she bragged, puffing out her chest for dramatic effect.

Sans shrugged, "im pretty darn good at puns. in fact, ive got a ton of them in store…" he paused for a moment.

"a skele-ton."

The girl was about to say something when Sans suddenly remembered that his brother would be passing by any minute now.

"im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… y'know… i dont really care about capturing anybody." At this point, the human let out a little sigh of relief.

"now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC." The girl's eyes widened again, and Sans couldn't help but be amused at her expressions. She was like an open book.

"hey, actually, I think that's him over there." The human's eyes grew bigger once more as she whisked around to check. At this point, Sans was doing his best not to suppress his laughter. This human was just so expressive that it almost became comical.

"i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone." The two waltzed through the bars and stopped at a wooden station. There was an out of place lamp there, too.

"quick, behind that conveniently shaped lam-" Sans began, then stopped. "uh, actually, go hide behind my post. hurry it up, he's almost here."

The human scurried away and ducked behind the station.

"SANS! SANS!" A voice screeched from far away, and the loud thumping of boots drawing near. The smaller skeleton looked at his brother in surprise. "sup, bro?"

"SANS, UNDYNE FINALLY ALLOWED ME TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!" squealed a tall, thin skeleton who bore a small red cape.

Sans stepped back in shock. What's happening? This wasn't how it was supposed to go. "paps, hey, what do you mean by that?"

"UNDYNE FINALLY LET ME INTO THE ROYAL GUARD! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL LEAVE FOR THE CASTLE TODAY!" The skeleton beamed pridefully, placing his hands on his chest. Sans began to sweat nervously (how do skeletons even do that?) and gave a small shrug. "congrats, i guess? when are you… leaving?"

By now, Papyrus's smile had become brighter than the sun. "RIGHT AFTER I PACK UP ALL MY SPAGHETTI! THEN I WILL BE ON MY WAY!"

Sans felt glad that his brother was finally getting into the Royal Guard (after all, it was practically Papyrus's lifelong dream), but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel very… nervous about the whole matter. Why did Undyne allow him to be admitted into the Royal Guard? She would never do such a thing, seeing as how his brother couldn't even hurt a fly. Something about this timeline felt very, very wrong.

Before he knew it, Papyrus had already sped off into the distance, laughing "NYEH HEH HEH". Sans stood there, dumfounded. For the first time in forever, he didn't know how to respond to a situation.

A small, quiet voice brought him back to reality. "C-Can I come out now?"

Sans turned to face the human, whose teeth were chattering uncontrollably. The skeleton walked over to her and took off his jacket. He handed it to the freezing human, who gladly accepted his offer and quickly put it on.

"T-thanks," she sniffed, "I was getting chilled to the bone out here."

Sans snickered, "Good one."

The human gave him a feeble smile, "I thought I told you I was the Pun Master," she giggled softly, then sneezed. Sans sat down onto the snow, facing the human. "i don't think i've had the pleasure of knowing your name yet?" he asked.

"I… I don't know my name." she replied.

"ah. that… sucks."

The two sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

"You can give me one, you know?" the human muttered, "You can just give me a name. I'm fine with that."

Sans' smile grew wider. "are you sure about that?"

"Pleeeease don't let it be a pun." She mumbled.