I need to stop coming up with ideas at inconvenient times. *grumbles*
Just wanted to start this on Valentines Day since, well, it's Valentines-themed… duh.

Summary: Edward has a secret admirer, but it isn't romance that they're looking for.
Warnings: Eventual violence/gore, mild sexual themes, horror, and language. I am rating it T for now, but I may knock it up to M later on; it depends on how sick I want to be. Anything can happen. Consider yourself warned.
Pairings: I don't plan on any pairings. Al has a crush on Winry, but I won't go into it much with this story. No yaoi. At the most, there will be some intense stalker action. ;]
Disclaimer: FMA is not mine. I make no money off of my fanfictions.

Valentine
By Hyperthia

Chapter I
"A Secret Admirer"

Edward woke up at six, to the persistent ringing of his alarm clock. He slammed the top of it with his fist, silently mourning the fact that he had to go into the office that morning. He curled up under the blankets, wanting just five more minutes of sleep. Then the phone began to ring.

Edward groaned and rolled out of bed, keeping the comforter wrapped around him. With zombie-like speed, he walked down the short hallway. Eventually, Ed was close enough to the phone to answer it.

"Uh," he grunted, too tired and uneager to use his 'big-boy' words.

"Brother!" cheered the young voice on the other end. "Happy Valentines Day!"

"Uh?" he grunted again.

"It's February fourteenth; haven't you looked at the calendar?" Edward took a glance at the calendar and it was, indeed, Valentines Day. Or Singles-Feel-Lonely-And-Sad Day, as Edward called it. Of course Alphonse, being the romantic sap he was, would call Edward on this occasion, just to wish him a 'Happy Valentines Day.'

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" asked Alphonse.

"Yeah…" Edward replied, leaning his head to rest on the wall. "It's alright though. How's Risembool?"

"It's great!" Al chirped. "I'm helping Winry today."

"Cool," Edward deadpanned.

"I got her some flowers too, but I'm not sure how to give them to her, so I'm still planning and I'm kinda nervous," and Alphonse babbled on and on, sounding reminiscent of a hyperactive terrier on crack. Edward tapped his automail fingers on the counter, tolerantly waiting for Al's nervous prattle to die down. When it didn't, he grew a little impatient.

"When are you coming back?" he interrupted, and Alphonse ceased his chattering.

"I was thinking maybe in two weeks," he responded after a moment. "I'm about ready to come back."

"That's good," said Edward. "I should be back from wherever Mustang sends me by then."

The brothers talked for a while longer, and the conversation mostly consisted of Alphonse telling Edward how much he missed him. Once their chat was over, Edward hung up the phone, only for it to start ringing again.

"Hello?" Edward said, frustrated that his attempt at sleeping in was being interrupted so many times.

"Chief!" Havoc greeted. "I'm on my way to come get you. Be ready!"

With that, the line went dead, not giving Ed the chance to argue.

Edward took a glance out the window while he got dressed. Snow fell lightly, covering the windowsill with thick, white powder. It was February and Edward loathed the cold weather. It made his dorm cold, and there was nothing he could do to fix it; their sucky heating system was broken again.

Eventually, he heard a car horn from outside, and he walked out to see Havoc sitting in his truck.

"Morning, Chief!" Havoc cheerfully greeted, as Edward climbed into the passenger side. "All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I see?"

Havoc couldn't help but laugh at the glare he received from Edward; the kid was clearly not having a very smooth morning.

"I hear you have a new assignment?" Havoc asked, changing the subject.

"Uh huh…" Edward grunted, frowning as he stared out the window. Havoc glanced over at the despondent teen and shook his head.

"What's got you all worked up?" he asked.

Edward merely grunted and rested his chin in the palm of his hand.

"You're all bummed out because it's Valentines Day, and you don't have a girlfriend," said Havoc. Edward shot up in his seat and gaped at Havoc, feeling his face grow hot.

"N-no!" he sputtered. "I don't need a girlfriend; I have no interest in that mushy crap." He turned and scowled out the window again.

"Meh…" Havoc shrugged, looking a bit depressed. "I don't have a girlfriend today, either." He suddenly looked irritated.

"Mustang is practically rolling in the love notes right now," he said, gripping the steering wheel and looking as if he were about to lose it. "Damn jerk-off."

"I second that," said Edward.

"Don't talk that way about your superior officer, Chief."

"Hey!"

Upon arriving at the office, Edward concluded that he had never seen a more sickening sight. Just as Havoc had said, Mustang was practically rolling in red, pink, and white. Bright confetti coated his desk, spilling onto the rug below; piles of letters, which were decorated in red kissy marks and scented with perfume, took up half of his desk; and there were a dozen tacky, stuffed bears that said dumb shit like, 'Be my Valentine!' or worse, 'You're cute!'

Mustang looked so smug as he gave Edward his assignment. To Edward, it was just another kluge to some nothing town, out in the boonies. It sounded more like another ploy to gain Mustang yet more points. Nothing spectacular.

"Here's your case file," said Mustang, pushing the manila folder across his desk. "Did you understand everything I told you?" Edward took the folder and tucked it under his arm.

"Yes sir," he said. Mustang nodded once, in acknowledgment, and took out his pen to return to signing papers. Then Hawkeye walked in, carrying two envelopes.

"Colonel, you have another letter," she said, slapping the note down on Mustang's desk.

"Edward, you have one too," she added, smiling slightly. She handed a plain, white envelope to Edward, who reluctantly accepted it.

Mustang opened his first, looking quite bored as he recited the poem aloud.

"I see your face when I am dreaming, that's why I always wake up screaming… Breda, this looks suspiciously like your handwriting."

The guys all sniggered a bit before Havoc looked over at Edward, who was currently puzzling over his unopened letter.

"What did you get, Ed?" he asked, walking over to peer over the kid's shoulder.

"I don't know," Edward replied. He turned the envelope over in his hands. It was white and unmarked by a return address. Whoever sent it to him most likely wanted to remain anonymous. There wasn't anything special or unique about the envelope, except that his name was scrawled out on the back. He had never gotten a letter like this before.

"What are you waiting for, kid?" urged Breda. "Open it!"

Feeling a little embarrassed that everyone was watching him, Edward hesitantly opened the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper. On the front of the card was a big heart drawn in red crayon. When he opened the card, a squashed daisy fell out. The men, crowded around him, began to laugh quietly as he read the poem to himself.

It was the old cliché:

Roses are red, violets are blue
Sugar is sweet, and so are you.

"What are they, two years old?" Mustang said, leaning over Ed's shoulder and reading the message. "Good work, Fullmetal. Pretty soon, you'll have all the tots after you."

"Ed's got a two-year-old girlfriend!" Breda laughed, and all the others joined in. Edward's face glowed a deep red as he attempted a hot response.

"Sh-shutup!" he managed to shout.

"That's so cute!" Havoc cooed playfully, pinching Edward's cheek. "Some little girl is all after the Chief!"

Edward hid his face, feeling completely mortified about the situation. He just had to get the dumb letter at work, didn't he?

"Lighten up, Fullmetal," said Mustang. "But I have to be honest; any girl who goes after you is probably not going to be much older than eight."

"Hey now, that's a little mean, Colonel," Havoc scolded, still chuckling slightly.

"I could get a girl my age!" Edward said. The men all covered their mouths as they tried to hold in their laughter. "Hey! Stop laughing!"

"Maybe you could get a babysitter, Ed," said Breda, earning himself a rather threatening glare from Edward.

"You guys are stupid!" Edward yelled. "I could so have a girlfriend. I just don't want one. I don't have time for crap like that!"

"That's what they all say," said Mustang, shooting Havoc a pointed look. Havoc scowled at that comment.

"Whatever," said Edward. He turned and stomped toward the door. "I have a busy week ahead, and this is last thing I need to put up with."

That said, he walked out and slammed the door behind him. Havoc chased after him, grabbing his car keys as he went.

"Hey, Chief! Wait up!"

Havoc ran outside to see Edward speed walking toward the front gate. He looked more pissy than usual. His shoulders were all hunched up, his head was low, and Havoc could just tell that the kid was pouting.

"Chief!" he called, but he did not get a response. "Edward!"

Edward stopped and turned to wait for Havoc, who quickly caught up to him.

"You want a ride?" asked Havoc. Edward frowned and shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright, let's go get you packed, and then I'll take you to the train station." Havoc patted Edward's shoulder and led him toward the parked car. Ed somberly lagged behind Havoc, looking downright crestfallen.

"Don't let the guys get to you," said Havoc, only to receive a small glower from Edward.

"Sorry I joined in," Havoc added. Edward's shoulders relaxed, showing that he forgave Havoc. At least for now, he did.

"Whatever," he said. "I've got a long couple of days ahead, so I may as well get out of town while I have the chance."

Edward climbed into the car and slammed the door shut. Havoc sighed and sauntered around the car to climb into the driver's side.

The whole ride back to Edward's dorm building was spent in silence. Ed was preoccupied by thoughts of how stupid the guys at the office were sometimes. It frustrated Edward how the adults always treated him like a child. He was in the military for crying out loud! Sure, he may only be thirteen, but he was really quite mature for his age. It seemed like everyone around him thought he was some child, who needed discipline and guidance. At the same time though, they would expect him to act like an adult.

Mustang was the worst of them all. Edward could never quite tell when the man was treating him like a child or an adult. Perhaps Mustang was confused; being old had a way of doing that. Some days, he would treat Edward like just another soldier. But then, the guy would say crap like, 'any girl who goes after you is probably not going to be much older than eight.'

Edward clenched his hands into fists. The bastard was probably just worried that Edward would surpass him in popularity. Ed smirked at this thought. Yeah, that must be it. He began to imagine what the look on Mustang's face would be if that actually happened. He couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"What are you laughing at?" Havoc asked, grinning over at Edward.

"Nothing," Ed answered, feeling his mood lift slightly.

And so Edward carried on with his routine. He left the city just hours later, feeling pretty darn good about himself. He had a secret admirer. Even though- judging by the corniness of their love letter- they seemed to be quite young, it didn't really bother Edward. It was kind of an ego boost to get that kind of attention, no matter where it came from.

It was only a few days later when he heard again from his secret admirer.

To be continued…

A/N: Sorry about the slow setup ^^;This chapter was unbetaed. I ran out of time to run this through my current beta, and I wanted to have this chapter posted today (I also didn't want to stress her out by throwing another thing at her!). Hopefully, the next chapters will be betaed *cough* I'm workin' on it.

If you noticed any mistakes, please kindly let my dumb, dyslexic brain know! Thank you!

P.S.- I also just posted an EdWin oneshot called Exploding Butterfly. Check it out.

P.S.S.- I just posted some line art for this. Tis the cover art! The link is on my profile.