AN: Alright, Upgradeaaa. I'll take your challenge. Oh, and you might want to watch out for Wildwing throwing things; dude may be a goalie, but he's got wicked good aim. And microphones to the head hurt!


"Uh, yeah. Make that a double." Phil pulled out his wallet and started counting the cash inside.

"Sure thing, buddy." The ice cream cart clerk nodded and added another scoop of rocky road to the already overflowing cone. He handed the frozen delicacy to Grin. "That'll be fifteen dollars."

"Fifteen! The sign says five!"

"Hey," he shrugged, feigning apology. "You got one and your friend's getting a double. That's three. Three times five's fifteen. Basic math, genius." The clerk held his open hand out to Phil while staring him in the eye.

"Robbery, that's what this is," Phil muttered as he pulled out three fives and slapped them in the proffered palm.

"Money is not what makes one rich," Grin said, enjoying a bite of ice cream.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't hurt, either."

They walked into the park, enjoying the sunny day and grassy fields. These outings had started innocently enough; Grin had been starving after a particularly physical public appearance at a Beach Bod's contest. Weight lifters kept trying to get him to join in on the competition, which he politely refused. Eventually, someone figured out the muscular drake would help if they overloaded a barbell and were unable to complete a rep. He'd spent the entire appearance rescuing weight lifters who were secretly trying to figure out just how much he could lift. He relented after the fifth rescue and picked up an entire rack of weights so the body builders would stop risking their own health. Ever since then, Phil took Grin out for a snack or meal after a public appearance.

A couple got up and left a park bench as they neared. It was shaded and overlooking a lake, the perfect place to sit and enjoy their quickly melting snack. By unspoken agreement, they changed course and claimed it for themselves.

The wooden bench creaked and dipped slightly as Grin sat. Phil tried to keep a polite bit of distance between them, but the bench kept tilting him closer and closer to the massive duck.

They ate in silence, watching ducks and geese swimming in the water, children chasing each other while mothers called for them to slow down, and bicyclists blazing down the paved path. Phil kept stealing glances at Grin. It always amazed him how serene he was, how peaceful everything seemed wherever he went. Grin was never in a hurry, never angry. He never complained about being stranded on Earth, unlike the others.

"How do you always stay so calm?" The question slipped out before Phil realized he'd been thinking it.

"I am at peace with myself."

"Yeah, but, how?" Damn. He should have gotten some napkins. The ice cream was melting faster than he could eat it.

Grin ate the last bite of his cone before replying.

"Through meditation. I have released the need for material goods or fame."

"Hmph!" Phil snorted while using the handkerchief from his breast pocket to wipe off his hands. "And you somehow ended up with both."

"The Universe provides."

Oh, how he hated and loved those answers. If there was anything Grin could be counted on for other than his strength, it was the unpredictability of what he was going to say. Well, it would always be confusing, but never predictable.

"Yeah, I guess." Phil's hands were sticky and sweaty and his collar felt too tight. He tugged at it, then loosened his tie to get a little more breathing room. "Hey, uh," he cleared his throat. "What, uh. What about love?"

"What about it?" Grin's warm gaze focused on Phil. His deep, brown eyes took in the human as if he were the only thing on the planet that mattered.

"What's your opinion about love? You know, between friends or species or.. Ah!" He looked away, unable to get his feelings into words.

"Love is the Universe. It is all that matters."

"So, you don't care who you love?"

"It is the soul that loves, not the physical form that carries it."

"Then I guess you wouldn't be afraid to go out with a human?"

"If they were kind, and generous. There are many sentient species in our universe; it is not uncommon to find companionship amongst those who are different."

Phil couldn't stop the huge smile spreading across his face. There was hope after all.

Grin must have sensed Phil's elation. He leaned over, one massive hand on Phil's cheek, and touched the end of his bill to Phil's lips.

Phil sighed in happiness and returned the kiss, relishing the strangeness of a hard bill compared to human lips. He was short of breath when they pulled away.

"Want to go somewhere a little more private?" Phil offered.

"That would be most welcome."

They stood from the bench and headed back to Phil's car, hand in hand.


End AN: HAH! I DID IT! Now who's gonna write me a Mookie/Dr. Praetorius fic? *kicks the dropped microphone under the bleachers*