The Purple Swirly Crossover
~~
Author's Note: Yeah, I know, another one. I should really stop writing stories and start updating more often . . .it's only logical. . . but, hey, I'm not Vulcan. I can't really remember much about DS9. . .don't sue me.
~~
[Bridge: Enterprise. Everything looks normal.]
[Everything IS normal.]
Kirk: Everything's normal.
Crew: Boo hiss.
Kirk: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
~~
[Bridge: . . . . Enterprise.]
[There are a few problems.]
Picard: There are? Where?
Geordi: Maybe it's that GIANT SPACE ANOMALY HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!
Riker: What?
Data: He is correct. There is a GIANT SPACE ANOMALY HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!
Picard: Nuts.
~~
[Main Docking. . .Bridge. . .thing, Deep Space Nine.]
[Sisko is throwing a bouncy ball against the wall.]
Sisko: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Bashir: Captain. . .Commander. . .person thingy, there's a purple swirly thingy coming at us.
Sisko: WHHEEEEE. . .there's a what?
Bashir: A purple swirly thingy.
Sisko: Oh. Go tell Odo.
Bashir: ?
Bashir: Odo? Odo's the head of security. What's he going to do?
Sisko: Have him arrest the. . .whatever it is.
Bashir: Why?
Sisko: For being a purple swirly thingy.
Bashir: Oh. Okay.
~~
[Bridge: Voyager.]
Janeway: Ho hum.
Crew: Ho hum.
[BANG!!!]
Janeway: Hm. Someone's attacking us.
Kim: Nope. It's a. . .purple swirly thingy.
Janeway: A nebula?
Paris: Does a nebula suck in innocent ships and crush them into tiny weeny pieces?
Janeway: Er. . .no?
Paris: Then it's not a nebula.
Janeway: Nuts.
~~
[Bridge: Enterprise.]
Sulu: Captain, there's a -
Kirk: Where? I want it analysed! Ooh. . .what's that purple swirly thing?
Chekov: A purple svirly thing, sair.
Kirk: I see . . . . . . . . . . .
Uhura: Captain, message from StarFleet. . .[Listens] They're advising us [pause] that we should be aware of [applies lipstick, checks it in mirror] a huge [thinks for a minute] I can't remember the rest of my line.
Kirk: We should be aware of you not remembering the rest of your line?
Uhura(thinks for a second): Yes.
Kirk: Thank you lieutenant. That was. . .enlightening.
Spock: Sir -
Kirk: Ssh, I'm thinking.
Sulu: But, um, sir -
Kirk: Don't interrupt!
Chekov: SAIR, FOR THE LOVE OF PIOTR*, THERE IS A GIANT PURPLE SVIRLY THING HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US AND YOU'RE TRYING TO THINK ABOUT VHICH GIRL YOU'RE GOING TO ASK TO THE OFFICER'S DISCO ON EDEAS NINE! THAT IS IRRELEVANT, BEKAUS IF VE DON'T DO SOMETHING NOW, VE VON'T GET THERE!
[Pause.]
[. . .]
Kirk(tightly, sulking): Right. Okay. Fine. Interrupt my thinking. I'll just take longer to work it out.
Crew: *Groan*
McCoy(appearing from no-where): Spock, this is the only ever time you will ever hear me say this. . .but will you over throw the Captain and get us out of this mess?????
Spock: Actually, this is not the first time I have heard it from you. The Mirror-You was very insistent on it. Well, actually, that wasn't you. That was. . . [Shakes head] anyway. [Turns to Kirk] Captain, I believe a new female Ensign has just arrived on the ship. Elle Rouge Kiki-Tiki Packa Chan RoseBud.
Kirk: Whoo hoo! I'm there!
[Kirk leaves Bridge post-haste.]
Spock: Now to get us out of this mess -
Chekov: It's too late. Ve're in the Nebula.
Crew: Oh, yeah.
McCoy: Dammit.
TBC
*Piotr is the Russian name for Peter. And there is a saying, "For the love of Pete!" (See: Shrek). It was, of course, inwented by the Russians. Ehem.
~~
Author's Note: Yeah, I know, another one. I should really stop writing stories and start updating more often . . .it's only logical. . . but, hey, I'm not Vulcan. I can't really remember much about DS9. . .don't sue me.
~~
[Bridge: Enterprise. Everything looks normal.]
[Everything IS normal.]
Kirk: Everything's normal.
Crew: Boo hiss.
Kirk: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
~~
[Bridge: . . . . Enterprise.]
[There are a few problems.]
Picard: There are? Where?
Geordi: Maybe it's that GIANT SPACE ANOMALY HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!
Riker: What?
Data: He is correct. There is a GIANT SPACE ANOMALY HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!
Picard: Nuts.
~~
[Main Docking. . .Bridge. . .thing, Deep Space Nine.]
[Sisko is throwing a bouncy ball against the wall.]
Sisko: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Bashir: Captain. . .Commander. . .person thingy, there's a purple swirly thingy coming at us.
Sisko: WHHEEEEE. . .there's a what?
Bashir: A purple swirly thingy.
Sisko: Oh. Go tell Odo.
Bashir: ?
Bashir: Odo? Odo's the head of security. What's he going to do?
Sisko: Have him arrest the. . .whatever it is.
Bashir: Why?
Sisko: For being a purple swirly thingy.
Bashir: Oh. Okay.
~~
[Bridge: Voyager.]
Janeway: Ho hum.
Crew: Ho hum.
[BANG!!!]
Janeway: Hm. Someone's attacking us.
Kim: Nope. It's a. . .purple swirly thingy.
Janeway: A nebula?
Paris: Does a nebula suck in innocent ships and crush them into tiny weeny pieces?
Janeway: Er. . .no?
Paris: Then it's not a nebula.
Janeway: Nuts.
~~
[Bridge: Enterprise.]
Sulu: Captain, there's a -
Kirk: Where? I want it analysed! Ooh. . .what's that purple swirly thing?
Chekov: A purple svirly thing, sair.
Kirk: I see . . . . . . . . . . .
Uhura: Captain, message from StarFleet. . .[Listens] They're advising us [pause] that we should be aware of [applies lipstick, checks it in mirror] a huge [thinks for a minute] I can't remember the rest of my line.
Kirk: We should be aware of you not remembering the rest of your line?
Uhura(thinks for a second): Yes.
Kirk: Thank you lieutenant. That was. . .enlightening.
Spock: Sir -
Kirk: Ssh, I'm thinking.
Sulu: But, um, sir -
Kirk: Don't interrupt!
Chekov: SAIR, FOR THE LOVE OF PIOTR*, THERE IS A GIANT PURPLE SVIRLY THING HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US AND YOU'RE TRYING TO THINK ABOUT VHICH GIRL YOU'RE GOING TO ASK TO THE OFFICER'S DISCO ON EDEAS NINE! THAT IS IRRELEVANT, BEKAUS IF VE DON'T DO SOMETHING NOW, VE VON'T GET THERE!
[Pause.]
[. . .]
Kirk(tightly, sulking): Right. Okay. Fine. Interrupt my thinking. I'll just take longer to work it out.
Crew: *Groan*
McCoy(appearing from no-where): Spock, this is the only ever time you will ever hear me say this. . .but will you over throw the Captain and get us out of this mess?????
Spock: Actually, this is not the first time I have heard it from you. The Mirror-You was very insistent on it. Well, actually, that wasn't you. That was. . . [Shakes head] anyway. [Turns to Kirk] Captain, I believe a new female Ensign has just arrived on the ship. Elle Rouge Kiki-Tiki Packa Chan RoseBud.
Kirk: Whoo hoo! I'm there!
[Kirk leaves Bridge post-haste.]
Spock: Now to get us out of this mess -
Chekov: It's too late. Ve're in the Nebula.
Crew: Oh, yeah.
McCoy: Dammit.
TBC
*Piotr is the Russian name for Peter. And there is a saying, "For the love of Pete!" (See: Shrek). It was, of course, inwented by the Russians. Ehem.