A/N: Hi there everyone! It's my first fan fiction in the Blue Exorcist fandom, please be nice with me ;o; I've been writing for years for kpop and I missed writing for animes and video games so I guess you could say that it's somehow my comeback on ffnet XDD Anyway, I hope that you'll enjoy reading this short oneshot of mine and that Yukio/Rin are not OOC ;o;
Question Existing
I
At first, Yukio thought it was his imagination.
He tried to ignore them, he tried to act like they didn't exist, like it was normal that the clouds were black, like it was normal that the rays of the sun were filtered by dark particles of dust; with narrowed eyes and sharp fangs, monsters, demons dancing in front of him, which gathered randomly around people and ate them up – alive.
It wasn't.
Why would illusions be so real? Why would they be able to touch him? It wasn't normal yet Yukio was too young to understand it, what was happening in this world was far beyond his comprehension and maybe it was a good thing that he didn't understand anything at all at that time.
II
Rin was looking at his younger brother, confused. For unknown reasons, Yukio was clinging to him, holding the edge of his t-shirt so tightly that the piece of cloth was about to tear apart.
"What's wrong?" asked Rin, as he put his hands softly on his brother's shoulders.
"Don't – don't you see them, Nii-san?"
The only thing he was seeing was the blue ball rolling on the grass near the sand box and the other kids, further away, avoiding them.
"What do you mean?" laughed Rin, still concerned though. "I don't see anyone else but you."
"It's..." Yukio should have guessed before asking him that meaningful question, that Rin couldn't see them, that it was like the others. "It's nothing, Nii-san."
He forced himself to smile, thinking that this small act would be enough to fool his brother yet Rin noticed it, he knew Yukio by heart, and somehow it angered him a little that Yukio would hide something from him because his little brother was everything to him.
"Are you sure?" insisted Rin, again.
Yukio pulled away from his brother's warm hands. He was afraid of losing him; he was afraid that if he told him what he was seeing, Rin would reject him like everyone else had done (even his father was quite cold and distant with him) so he wouldn't dare trying.
"Yes, don't worry." Yukio glanced behind Rin and saw the monsters running away. "It's just my imagination..."
III
Because his twin brother was Rin Okumura, his classmates said Yukio was dangerous, and even though he studied and scored high at tests, the teachers weren't really fond of him. Any excuses were good to make fun of him: wearing glasses was laughable, dreaming of becoming a doctor was laughable as well.
Yukio wasn't in the same class as his brother's, nevertheless it didn't prevent him from sticking out with him during playtime, or sharing the bento their father had cooked while tending Rin's injuries away from the prying eyes of their classmates.
"You shouldn't stay with me, Yukio..."
"Why so?" asked his little brother, wrapping a bandage around his wrist.
"I'm no good at making friends, I'm always messing up with everyone."
Yukio smiled bitterly. He wasn't good at making friends either; his so-called friends nicknamed him "four-eyed demon" and, as soon as they learned who he was, they quickly stopped playing with him.
"I don't care! Nii-san is the most important person for me so I'm staying with you."
Rin's heart melt away, he felt happy.
Until one day, when Yukio had no friends left, and his little brother sat alone at the back of the classroom.
IV
He couldn't stopped himself, Rin was punching them, breaking their ribs, biting their skin, even though the other kids were begging for mercy, he wouldn't stop. The boy wanted to kill them, all of those people who were hurting Yukio, he would make them disappear for his sake (because Yukio didn't deserve this pain, he deserved to be happy.)
"Rin, stop it. Stop it already."
That's why he kept on punching them, that's why he wouldn't stop.
"Listen to me!"
He opened his eyes.
Why was Shiro there? Why was he hurting his father?
"What – what are you doing here?" started Rin, his voice broken and shaken.
Blood.
Blood everywhere.
This was not what he wanted.
"I only wanted to protect Yukio..."
He cried, weeping to his heart's content – despair.
V
After that accident, things had changed; Yukio didn't share his room with Rin anymore, their father had forbidden it, and it was empty, so empty that Rin was drowning in the void that the absence of his little brother had created.
Wasn't it pitiful?
Rin was supposed to be the stronger one and yet he was the weakest, unable to control his emotions, unable to protect what he wanted without destroying them in the process.
Also, to add to his dismay, it was his fault if their father had done that – separating Yukio from him. Never would have he guessed that he was depending so much on his little brother to stay sound of mind, because Yukio was the only one who made sense to his life now (or had it been always the case?)
"Hey, Okumura!"
And although he knew he shouldn't listen to what other people said about him, after a while, Rin couldn't help starting to believe in what they said, even though it was lies.
"Kill yourself, filthy demon."
Lowering his head, he averted the gaze of his classmate to stay out of troubles.
What was true? What was false?
Rin didn't know anymore.
VI
As Yukio caught sight of two big red glowing eyes squinted slightly in the corner of his bedroom, the little boy hide himself in his blanket.
Monsters were glaring at him, he knew.
They were slowly coming closer to him, slowly creasing his blanket with their long fingers, already thinking how they would devour him.
Right away, as he felt their touch, Yukio fled to Rin's bedroom, making his way nervously into his bed, and laid near his older brother who was sleeping like a log, snoring softly.
As long as he stayed with Rin, no monsters would approach him; he was safe. Yukio's heartbeats quickly calmed down as he hugged tighter his body – like a magic trick.
"Nii-san..." whispered Yukio, eyes closed.
Tonight, he didn't know why but Yukio was dreaming that a consuming fire was embracing him, blue flames smooching his skin.
VII
His father had found out everything. He had caught up Yukio sleeping with Rin and now, he was angry.
"What's the meaning of this, Yukio?" asked Shiro with a imperative tone.
The little boy opened his mouth, before closing it, hesitating. He didn't want his father to say that he was crazy, Yukio wasn't – he was really seeing those creatures.
"I'm afraid of that thing in my closet... It wants to eat me. I know that you can't see it but please, believe me, dad."
Yukio was seven years old, his father was supposed to say "don't be afraid of the dark". Instead, Shiro knelled before his son and gave him a gun.
"What is it?"
At that time, there were many things that the little boy hadn't understood and his father's behaviour was one of them.
"Something to protect you against demons." explained his father, matter-of-factly.
"I – I don't understand, dad."
"I'm an exorcist, Yukio. I'm fighting against those things you see. And Rin," trailed off his father, patting his head, "is Satan's son."
Yukio froze, his world shattered.
"Nii-san is a demon?"
"Yes, but he's still your brother. It doesn't change who he is."
That day, Yukio had stopped sleeping with his brother. He had stopped fearing monsters and demons, because he loved one – and he hadn't realized it.
Ignorance was a bliss, wasn't it?