It was a normal day for the mob boss, Shrek. He counted his money behind his desk, crunching the layers of an onion he was peeling slowly. That was when Pedobear rushed in and yelled in panic, "Shrek! The officers have come!" Shrek turned around to meet the eyes of the scared bear. "Send out our best employees and put 'em to a stop." He said, calm and collected. Pedobear saluted Shrek before saying, "I will, sir Shrek!" Shrek nodded. "Good, go."
Some distance away, a door is kicked open with a big slam. A gun entered soon being followed by its owner. "We must search every inch for Shrek, and take him out." A certain clown, Ronald McDonald, said. A small, green haired girl with four pigtails walked in. "Alright, uncle Ronald!" She said. Yet another person walked in, a superhero named Spider-Man, he had a handful of pizza boxes. "Pizza time." The first enemy opposing them was gnome. "I'm g'not a g'noblin. I'm g'not a g'nelf. I'm a g'nome, and you've been..." He pulled out an SMG. "...Gnomed!" He immediately started shooting and the three took cover.
Spider-Man immediately shrugged and in a retarded way said, "How do I shot web?" Yotsuba shrugged as well. "I dunno lol." She replied. Ronald grabbed and threw Yotsuba over. She used her 404 abilities to not be found, and kicked the Gnome. "Get outta here!" She said. The Gnome yelled, "G'niggered!" Ronald quickly ran over and put his gun to the gnome's face. "I'm giving you one chance." Ronald's hand went around the trigger. "Where is Shrek at?" The gnome, being stupid, answered with, "Get gnome-", but before he could finish, the clown shot him between the eyes, and blew his brains out. "Dumbass gnomes only want to gnome people." He said before advancing forward with his team.
Once they made it to the next area, they saw a Supreme Gentleman sitting alone, sipping from a trophy that said, "#1 Supreme Gentleman." It was Elliot Rodger, the god of the incels. "Chads! I see Chads, and a soon to be Stacy!" He held them at gun point. Ronald, being the hamburger happy clown, immediately shoved a Big Mac into his mouth and disarmed the twenty-two year old. "Ssshh, or I'll feed your virginity to your boss." Elliot Rodger complied simply because he didn't want any of that gay shit taking away his Supreme Gentleman award. Ronald threw Elliot out of the way. Unbeknownst to the group, Shrek had come up from behind and before any of them could react, his neck had wrapped around Yotsuba tightly. "Guns down, or she dies." He pointed in a demanding way. Ronald was at a moral dilemma, let him kill Yotsuba and take out the enemy, or drop the weapons... He chose the latter and dropped the weapon. Suddenly, from behind, Shadow hits a pressure point. "Nothin' personnel kid." Ronald was knocked out, hitting the floor with a loud thud.
The three later woke up in a prison. A voice of a lazy man is heard. "Mornin' fellas." It was Patrick Star, on a couch beside some tally marks on the wall that read 100. "Well you're probably here to stay forever." Patrick sighed. "Don't go close to Jar Jar Binks, he has an extreme fart fetish." He pointed to someone in the corner. "Mesa Jar Jar. Drop the soap please." Jar Jar said, his disturbing smiled saying every evil thing he wanted to do to his cellmates. "Ran ran ruu, I'm fucked." Ronald said.
How will Ronald, Yotsuba, and Spider-Man get out of this situation? Find out next time!