Remembering
By: Navi-ships-it
Crash! My eyes shoot open and I realize in my confusion I knocked over my lamp. I sigh and sit up in bed, I doubt I will be able to go to sleep again. Lately, I haven't been sleeping well. I have these strange dreams about the people I know, but I know it never happened, It's all familiar except there's a little girl and boy. Not only do they haunt me in my sleep, The visions, if you could call it that, occur in the daytime too.
"West?"
"It's alright, I just knocked over the lamp in my sleep", I say pointing to the fallen lamp pieces scattered across the floor.
"...You were screaming again"
"What?"
"You scream in your sleep"
"I-I…I do?"
Gilbert sits next to me on the bed and I can't look him in the eye, instead I grip the sheets and let the embarrassment flow over me in waves.
"I'm sorry Gil, I have been having trouble sleeping lately, I didn't realize I was disturbing your own sleep"
"No, it's fine. What dreams? I mean, what are they about?"
This I am hesitant to answer, hasn't he embarrassed me enough? I guess not because he is staring at me with a glint in his eyes I haven't seen for a long time. Is it worry in his eyes?
"Everyone, Mostly Roderich, Elizaveta, you, a boy with black clothes, and a little girl with a green dress. I just see you all interacting, but sometimes..."
"Sometimes...what?"
"Sometimes I see Francis standing over me, or sometimes the boy, covered in blood with his army behind him claiming victory. I see Elizaveta crying next to me, I see Roderich angrily glaring at Francis trying to hold you back from Francis, and the worst part is the pain, I feel it everywhere. I feel cold and defeated."
I turn to see Gilbert stiff and frozen with silent tears streaming down his pale face as he stares at me with pain and shock. For a moment I am scared, then I am curious, and all at once guilt washes over me.
"I'm sorry", I say but my brother's already off the bed and against the wall with his head banging. I reach out and arm but slowly bring it back. He stops for a moment and stares at the phone, he reaches for it.
"Ludwig, there is a trunk in the very back of my closet, get it out and bring it here." Then he starts to dial and I walk out regretting that I told him anything. He even used my real name, that worries me. I walk into his room feeling a sense of nostalgia, the familiar sights of his messy room are a comfort to me. As I make my way to his closet I wonder why this worries him, I wonder if somethings wrong with me.
I dig through the closet and find the mysterious trunk I was ordered to get. Although I don't have much energy I manage to drag it out of the messy room and into the hall.
"I don't want to put him through that, It's too hard to explain anyway", I hear Elizaveta's voice over the phone.
"We just need to give him a little memory boost that's all", I hear Roderich's voice chip in.
"I agree, lets meet up at Italy's house. Elizaveta bring some clothes"
"Clothes?"
"His clothes", Gilbert says before hanging up the phone. Suddenly the door swings open and Gilbert knocks into the trunk.
His face lights up, "Hey! You found it! Great, I didn't want to dig through all that myself later"
"You mean you just wanted to keep me busy?!"
"Pretty much, get in the car, we're going to your boyfriend's house"
"He's not my boyfriend"
"Sure, West, I believe you"
Much to my annoyance, protest and confusion, we pile into the car and begin the silent drive to Feliciano's house.
"I don't understand, why are we going to Feliciano's house?"
"You'll see", he said. That's the only answer I got the four times I asked. As Gilbert pulls up to the Italian house I see Roderich and Elizaveta already there accompanied by an ecstatic spaniard, Antonio.
Gilbert and I get out of the car and gilbert asks "What're you doing here Tony?"
"Gil! Elizaveta called me so I could pick up my little Lovi!"
"Right, sometimes I forget he lives here, he's always with you", Gilbert says shaking his head.
"Smart thinking Liz", Roderich says.
"Smart woman, Roddy", Elizaveta teased.
My heart skipped a beat as Antonio skipped up the walkway and knocked on the door repeatedly. A quick glance at my watch let me know it was 2:57am and not the time to be waking Lovino Vargas from a deep sleep.
A light suddenly flickered upstairs and a series of stomps became clearer and louder. For a moment all was forgotten about my strange visions as we feared for Antonio's door swung open and there stood a very pissed off South Italy.
"What the Fuck do you want?"
"My little Romanito! Give me a kiss!"
"You want a kiss? You can kiss my ass!"
"Gladly!"
Lovino gave a heavy, very deep sigh. "Go the fuck away Spain"
"Um, Lovino? We just wanted to speak with your brother and thought in the meantime you could go with Antonio", Gilbert said.
Romano's head snapped in our direction, "What the fuck are you potato bastard's gonna do with my fratello?"
Elizaveta stepped in "Lovi, We're not going to hurt Feli, we just want to talk"
"It's four eyes and that girl who pisses me off! Who the fuck else did you bring Spain?!"
"Sorry Lovi, I'll tell you later. Bye guys!", Antonio said while picking up the older italian brother and throwing him over his shoulder. A string of profanities followed a hasty farewell. Roderich led the way in.
"Oh, Luddy. I got these for you. Please put them on and meet us in the art room", Elizaveta said wiping a tear from her cheek and running up the stairs where the sleeping Italian awaited. With the two other men hard on her heels, I was left alone to change.
I stepped into the bathroom and hesitantly put on the soft cloth of the clothing. When I was finished I looked into the mirror and complete shock struck me. I staggered back into the wall and held my head, these clothes looked like the ones that boy was wearing. "His clothes", Gilbert's words rang in my ear and thoughts ran through my mind as fast as a bullet.
I never wore this as a child, right? Come to think of it, I don't remember when I was that small. That's normal, right? Once the shock calmed down, I stepped out of the bathroom and walked quickly to the art room. I felt uneasy and even more confused in this outfit, so much, I lingered outside the door for a moment.
"Is this super important? I'm glad to help!"
"Thank you Feli! Just paint whatever you want when you see him"
"Who's him anyway,Lizzy?"
Unable to stall myself any longer I clasped onto the door handle and gently opened the door. Once inside I closed the door and looked toward Italy. The small nation's eyes widened and he slowly backed into the wall. I reached out my arm to comfort the shaking Italian and was instead greeted with harsh kick to my stomach and a large weight on top of me.
Feliciano looked pissed. Tears flowed freely from his eyes more so than I've ever seen, he had a knife to my throat. He moved quicker than any enemy I've ever faced. Feli moved faster than me. His hair hung loosely, covering his eyes. In a deep, cold, and cruel voice he spoke.
"Who the hell are you, bastard?"
Just as everyone began to process what was happening, I felt the knife dig in a little and I cried out.
"Italia! Feli! Listen I-"
The knife clattered to the floor and there he was again. The scared Italian against the wall sobbing in disbelief. I felt a single drop of blood roll of my neck. He was so clean the take down, the threat, the choice of weaponry, and even the wound were all clean. He wasn't messy. It scared me half to death.
"It's okay Feli, you'll understand. He doesn't remember you need to help him remember who he was.", Elizaveta said squatting down face-to-face with Feliciano.
"I thought he was dead! Why?"
"We didn't think he could remember"
Then there was Gilbert and Austria in front of me holding out a hand to help me up.
"Oi West your boyfriend is damn scary. Tough too.", Gilbert mused.
I was too shocked to care about titles "Yeah...He is"
"J-Just sit in the chair", Feliciano said.
I sat down in the wooden chair and looked at my little Italy crying all over the canvas as he painted.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't talk Ludwig"
It was over an hour before Italy finally stopped painting. The three other people in the room rushed over to look at it.
"What is it?"
Feliciano sniffed as he held the painting out. "Don't talk...Holy Rome"
The painting was of Italy and I painting with the small boy and girl at Roderich's house with Elizaveta, Roderich and Gilbert in the backround watching us paint.
What did he call me? Holy Rome? Holy Rome…
It wasn't there a moment ago, but now it is. memories of a past life, no, memories of this life. Memories of when I was called 'Holy Rome'
I stood up and took of the hat. I threw it on the ground. I unbuttoned the cape and took of the black tunic. I was left in what I usually wear and I turned around.
They were watching me with uncertainty clouding their eyes.
I held out my arms and turned away, a blush appearing on my face.
"I-I remember"
Feliciano rushed into my arms faster than the other three. I clutched the Italian and Gilbert was next to latch onto me. Elizaveta and Roderich huddled around me and we all did not know what to say.
I don't remember what happened much that early morning. I could remember a few things. The absolute embarrassment of not realizing Feliciano was a boy back then. I remember Gilbert called Italy my 'Boyfriend' and I did not correct him because we all felt it was true. I remember deciding they all need to refer to me as they usually do still but, most of all. I remember how pissed off Lovino was when he came home to find me and Feliciano asleep in his bed. Scratch that. I also remember Japan mailing photos of it to everyone. How? I don't know. We don't question it.