The Best Performance Ever
Chapter 1:
13.6.2011 Deathy: CassyG requested that I do a story of Ian. So here it is. This is a one shot so there shall only be 1 chapter. Please enjoy and READ & REVIEW!
Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Sonic, SEGA, or Archie. I'm just a hugemongus fan.
A 16 year old skunk boy woke up bright and early in his bed room. Sadly, he woke up to hearing his baby sister tugging at his blanket. The cute little skunk girl with a cat tail had crawled in his bed sometime last night from a bad dream that she had. At this moment, the little princess that was his sister was deep asleep, and stealing his blanket.
"Aw!" Ian, the skunk boy, gushed. "Melanie is soooo cute w'en s'e's sleeping!" He stopped after he said that. He sat up on his knees and hit his head on his head board. "Stupid British accent!" He groaned.
"Uh?" The little girl cooed as she slowly opened her eyes. She then turned over to see her big brother banging his head on his head board. Melanie tilted her head at her brother's silliness. She crawled up to him and laid her head on his lap. She looked up at him as he banged his brain on the head board again. "Big Bruder." She said in a cute voice. Ian opened his eyes and looked down at her, his head resting against the head board.
"Oh, good morning Melanie." Ian greeted with a smile. "How are you? Did you sleep well?"
"I'm good, Ian. I slept well with you!" She said cuddling up to him. "How did you sleep Ian?"
"I slept well too." He said hugging his two year old sister. "Though even when you're stealing my blankets, you're so darn cute!"
"T'ank you!" Melanie said hugging him back. Then a funny sound came from Melanie's stomach.
"Uh-oh!" Ian said in a playful tone. "Sounds like someone is hungry!" He said hopping out of his bed. He held out his arms for the little girl. She hopped into his arms and climbed up on to his shoulder. "Let's get some food. What would you like for breakfast?" He asked as he balanced the little girl on his left shoulder.
"Umm…" Melanie thought and then laid her head on the top of Ian's hair. She soon got distracted from her thought and began playing in the teenager's hair. "You have nice hair big brother." She stated running her fingers through it.
"That's nice to know Melanie." Ian chuckled slightly. "But what about that grumbling stomach of your's? And mine?" He added. He opened the fridge and looked in it. He smiled with glee. There was food. He had to spend the last two days at the Prower household and just got back. Needless to say, neither Amadeus nor Rosemary could cook. Tails was the only one who knew how to cook and unfortunately for Ian, the orange two tailed fox got married and moved out. Tails lives in a huge mansion in Mystic Ruins next to his workshop. Sadly, Geoffrey sent him to Amadeus and not Tails for punishment. "I blow up one chem lab in school and I'm sent to Amadeus to learn some manners. More like die from their awful cooking!" Ian thought as he grabbed the carton of eggs. He placed them on the counter. He picked Melanie up off of his shoulder and placed her in her high chair. This was very upsetting to the little girl who was playing with his hair.
"I want to pet you head!" Melanie demanded. "I want puffy fluff!" She reached out for Ian's hair.
Ian gave her a funny look and rolled his eyes. "No. You can't have puffy fluff." He stated simply.
"I want the puffy fluff!" She demanded in a near yell banging her hand on the table.
"Melanie, please calm down." Ian pleaded in a whisper. "I need to make breakfast!"
"But I want puffy fluff!" Melanie cried, a tear coming to her eye.
"Listen, you don't want the tummy monster to come out and get us do you?" Ian asked.
"The tummy monster?" Melanie repeated with curiosity.
"Yeah, the tummy monster is a super evil man who prays on people who don't have any food in their tummies. He does this because they don't have the energy to get away." Ian said in a hush-hush tone. "Now if you be quiet for a little bit, I'll make breakfast so that the tummy monster can't hurt you. Okay?"
"Okay." Melanie said quieting down. "You won't let the tummy monster get me will you?"
"Of course not." Ian reassured her, patting her cute little head. "Now how does an omelet and sausage sound?"
"Yay!" Melanie cheered from her high chair.
Ian turned around and began to prepare the lovely meal. Geoffrey and Hershey came down stairs as Ian was pouring the coffee.
"Wow." Geoffrey stated sarcastically. "You woke up early today. I'm amazed. You might actually make it in the RSS."
"Don't count on it Dad." Ian said as he handed him the cup of coffee. "Sugar? Cream? Anything else that you would like in it?"
"Creamer." Geoffrey said as he glared with distain at the black coffee.
"Here." Hershey said as she held up the creamer for him. She had just finished preparing her cup. Ian made Melanie a plate with a ham, cheese, and green pepper omelet and sausage and hash browns. He made sure that the hash browns were cheesey. Melanie would have a fit if they weren't. "Good morning Melanie!" Hershey greeted her little girl happily. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yep!" Melanie said happily. "I got to sleep with big brother!"
"And steal all of the covers." Ian said with a broad smile as he placed the plate of food in front of her.
"Oh mommy! Daddy!" She called. "Guess what I learned!"
"W'at luv?" Geoffrey asked preparing himself a plate.
"Brother has puffy fluff!" Melanie cheered reaching for his hair. "See it's all nice and soft!"
Geoffrey gave her a weird looked and stifled a laugh. "T'at's wonderful, luv."
"Can I eat now?" Ian asked smiling at his baby sister. "You need to eat too."
"Okay. I won't let mean tummy monster get me." Melanie said picking up her sausage and taking a bite. "Yummy!"
"Tummy monster?" Hershey repeated in wonder.
"Oh, I remember that bloke." Geoffrey said acting as if he was remembering something. He picked up the steak sauce off the table and put some on his hash browns. He took a bite and made a funny face. "W'at is t'is?" Geoffrey asked glaring at the sauce on his plate. "T'is is not tobasco."
"No dear." Hershey stated, stifling a laugh. "That's steak sauce."
"It is?" Geoffrey questioned. "W'ere is t'e tobasco?"
Ian rolled his eyes. Geoffrey St. John was going blind, but the stupid bloke refused to wear glasses or contacts. Or go anywhere near an eye doctor's office. Ian got up and grabbed the tobasco. He placed it in the old skunk's hands.
"Here you go." Ian said giving it to him. "When are you going to the eye doctor?"
"Eye doctor?" Geoffrey said in fear. "I don't need to go to the eye doctor! I can see just fine!"
Ian rolled his eyes. Hershey did the same.
"Dear, are you sure that you don't want me to schedule you an appointment with the eye doctor?" Hershey asked trying to be reasonable.
"I don't need to see an eye doctor, luv." He assured her. "I can see just fine." He reached out and grabbed the sugar, instead of the creamer. He poured some sugar into his cup.
"Dad, how many fingers am I holding up?" Ian asked with a smirk.
"Four." Geoffrey stated squinting his eyes. Ian was holding up two fingers.
"Sure Dad." Ian said sarcastically. "You definitely have 20/20 vision."
"T'at I do, son." Geoffrey stated fixing his hash browns and taking a bite. Melanie giggled at this. Hershey shook her head as she ate her breakfast.
After breakfast, Melanie climbed into Geoffrey's lap. She held a big book in her little itty bitty hands. "Daddy, read me story?" Melanie asked holding the book up for him to see. Geoffrey was sitting at his desk doing paper work. It was the most hated part of his job, but Elias paid him well enough. Plus, he got to yell at Sonic for not doing the paper work. Geoffrey put down his pen and paper work.
"At least it's not paper work." Geoffrey thought grabbing the book. "Sure t'ing, luv." He said. Melanie's face lit up like a kid at Christmas.
"We read down stairs!" she said dragging him out of his office room and into the play room. Ian was setting a stage of some sorts in the corner. "Ian! Daddy is going to read for us."
"Oh, so dad will be the narrator?" Ian mused with a big smile. "This'll be fun." He said as he laid down an old sheet as a tarp. It was Ian's bed sheets.
"I'm doing w'at now?" Geoffrey questioned.
"You're narrating the story." Hershey answered as she helped get things in order. "Melanie wanted to put on a little play." She pointed to the audience of stuff animals. Geoffrey raised an eyebrow.
"W'at am I suppose to do?" Geoffrey asked.
"You read the narrator's lines in the book." Hershey stated opening the book and pointing to the lines. "See!" Hershey then went and petted Geoffrey's hair. "And you have puffy fluff too! I can have puffy fluff later?"
Geoffrey just gave her a weird look. "You really want to start t'at rig't now?"
"Yes!" Hershey said with a smile.
"Rrrraaarrrrrrrrrrr." Geoffrey growled trying to be sexy.
"Daddy became a kitty!" Melanie said looking up at her dad.
"I think I want to go to another room now." Ian said gagging himself.
"Feel free." Geoffrey offered. "'ow do you t'ink you and Melanie got 'ere?"
"Ew!" Ian said grossed out. "I didn't need to know that!"
"Don't t'ey teac' t'is in 'ealt' class?" Geoffrey asked.
Ian glared at him. "That may be so, but thinking about it is very uncomfortable." He said gagging. "Plus, Melanie is here!"
Melanie tugged on Hershey's leg.
"What is it dear?" Hershey asked.
"Can I play with dad's puffy fluff too?" She asked with big green eyes.
Hershey smiled and picked her up. "Have at it sweetie!"
"Yay!" Melanie said as she reached for Geoffrey. Geoffrey smiled at his little angel.
"W'at 'appened to playing wit' Ian's puffy fluff?" Geoffrey asked teasingly.
"Yours is a lot more fun to play with!" Melanie said with glee.
"Wow!" Geoffrey said with a big smile. "I 'ave better 'air t'an my up'ill gardener of a son. Today's a good day."
"I did get my hair from you." Ian stated. "It's nice to know I won't go bald when I'm as old as you!" He teased. His father gave him a death glare.
"Let's continue on with the play." Hershey said butting in. "Right Melanie?"
"Right!" Melanie said hopping down. "Let's act out play. Daddy is narrator and Mommy, Ian, and I are actors!" The little girl smiled with glee as she rushed to the get into costume. "Mommy help me get into costume! The curtain is about to rise!"
"Coming dear!" Hershey said walking over.
"Costumes?" Geoffrey said in surprise. "W'o said anyt'ing about costumes? I don't 'ave to wear a costume too do I?"
Ian smiled an evil smile as a response. He grabbed a costume and placed it in his hands. "Here you go, mate!" He said in a sing song voice. "It's time to get changed."
"I'm not wearing a costume." Geoffrey stated with distain.
"You're not going to deny little ol' Melanie are you daddy?" Ian asked up with a fake pout. "That would just devastate your little princess. Not to mention break her wittle itty bitty heart."
Geoffrey glared at his son. A guilt trip. Ian always got him with those. "You're an arse'ole son. I love you, but you're an arse'ole."
"Thank you daddy!" He replied with a smile. "I learned it all from you!"
"W'atever." He said taking the outfit. "The t'ings t'at I do to get out of paper work."
Geoffrey changed into his costume and came back. The curtain, which was just the shower curtain, was about to raise, or well, be pulled to the right side of the stage.
"W'ic' page am I supposed to start on?" the skunk said looking at the book.
"This one dear." Hershey said flipping to the right page.
"Okay!" Ian began. "Places everyone! Places!"
"T'is isn't an actual theatre. W'y are you screaming t'at?" Geoffrey said with distain. "W'at the bloody 'ell does t'at mean anyway?"
Ian gave him the 'are-you-serious' look. "It means get in your place so we can perform." He stated simply. He glared at Geoffrey for a moment. He rolled his eyes and went back to screaming "Places!"
After five minutes of Ian screaming places, Geoffrey finally snapped.
"We are in our places!" He yelled at Ian. "So stop screaming!"
Ian gave him the 'oh-really?' look that Geoffrey usually gives people. "Really?" He questioned. "Then why aren't you over on that little X in construction tape. That's your place. Get to it!" He pointed at the X as he tapped his foot.
Geoffrey glared back at him. He looked in the direction that he was pointing. "W'at X?" He asked. Ian rolled his eyes and stomped over to get him. He grabbed Geoffrey's arm and drug him to his spot.
"There!" He growled. "Now you're in your spot." Ian took a deep breath and headed for the front of the stage. "Okay everyone!" He began. "So sorry for the delay, but now we present Goldie Locks and the Three Bears!" Ian bowed as he went behind the curtain. Then he came and made sure that Melanie and Hershey were in their places. He stood on his mark. "Begin." He whispered to Geoffrey.
The old Royal Secret Service commander began to read his lines from the book. He read the first sentence when Ian walked up and opened the curtain. Then Melanie, who was playing Goldie Locks, began to act out her cute little role. Hershey played one of the bears, Ian played the other bear, and since they were short on actors, Ian made Geoffrey play the last and oldest bear. An hour later, they finally finished the play. Ian made everyone take a bow.
"Okay, now it's time to sweep the stage." Ian said as he began to take things down.
"Sweep the stage?" Geoffrey repeated in confusion.
Ian sighed. "Clean up." Ian stated. "We're cleaning."
"Okay." Geoffrey replied cleaning up the room. Melanie put all of her stuffed animals up and then she went to grab the camera.
"Ian, do you think that it recorded all of our play?" She asked in an innocent voice.
Ian walked over and picked it up. "It did." He assured her. "After all, I made sure to put a 12 hour tape in it and the battery will last for a good 24 hours."
"Yay!" Melanie said happily. "Was that the best performance ever?"
"Yep!" Ian said patting her on the head. "This was the best performance ever, and now we have it on tape forever and ever."
"Oh joy." Geoffrey said rubbing his temple as he helped clean the play room.
"That's so sweet." Hershey said happily. "Let's watch it later!"
"Can we send a copy to Aunt Amelia?" Ian suggested.
"Oh I bet she'll love it!" Hershey agreed clapping her hands together. "Don't you think so Geoffrey?"
"No! Let's not send it to 'er!" Geoffrey stated. "I'll never 'ear t'e end of it if s'e does see it."
"Oh, come on daddy!" Ian pleaded with a cute pout that Melanie joined in on. "Aunt Amelia will love it! I mean it is her baby brother's first ever performance!"
14.6.2011 Deathy: It's done! I won't be able to post it for a few days. But at least you know that it's been really well reviewed. CassyG has given me so good ideas for this. I hope you guys like it! I'm actually making an amv of the whole St. John family right now. There will be other Sonic Charas too. I'm keeping the song secret right now. But it'll be on YouTube in at around August.