Angel from Hell 1
A/N: So as of right now, October 2015, Angel From Hell has not premiered yet, and won't until February (ugh). But I've watched every available video and interview I know of for it, and as a long time die-hard (and die-harder) Psych fan, I'm already looking towards the cast's next bi g things, whatever they may be. I tried to stay in character to the best of my knowledge so far. I've also started the categories for Crumbs (Maggie Lawson, Fred Savage) and Back In The Game (Maggie Lawson, James Caan) both which got cancelled. But that won't happen this time! (That's my Buffalo Bills/Sabres fan spirit. "This is our year for sure!")
Hopefully this show will have more luck than Buffalo's disgraceful yet lovable sports teams :)
No copyright infringement intended. I do not own the characters or the plot or any recognizable yada yada yada. Any relations to any persons living or dead is actually the point because this is a fanfiction.
Set to take place after episode 1
Allison cursed as the tip of the mechanical pencil snapped and skittered across the page for the fifth time. Tossing the pencil aside, she snatched a pen from the mug on her desk that also had a little Irish flag sticking out of it. She began to write with the pen, only to realize that the only mark it was leaving on the paper were scratched indents. She pulled over a pad of sticky notes with a small grumble and scribbled the pen across the pad violently, but it was completely dry. With a frustrated groan, she chucked the pen into the waste basket next to her large oak desk.
When she turned back, there was a hand reaching across the center of her desk, holding out a pen to her. "Oh my god!" She yelped with a jump of surprise. She followed the hand up the arm of the person holding it. Of course, Amy was right there.
"Didn't mean to startle you, kid. You're a doctor, why are you writing in pencil anyway?" She had one foot up on the chair that sat facing Allison's desk.
"These are notes, and what the hell are you doing here!? This is my office!" She urged just above a whisper.
Amy belched. "Yeah. And I'm your weird friend. And what are friends for but bringing you a nice cup of coffee in the middle of a stressful workday?" She held out a cup of steaming Starbucks coffee that previously hadn't been there.
Allison looked at it for a moment, mouth agape. "What did you put in it? And how do you know I'm having a stressful day? And what did you put in it?"
"Always the skeptic." Amy rolled her eyes. "Just a cream, little bit o' brandy, shot of nutmeg…"
"Okay, no." Allison pushed Amy's hand holding the drink away from her.
"Jeez, I'm just trying to be nice, and I know you like nutmeg."
"Look, Amy, let's get one thing straight: This is my workplace. I have a very good, stable job and I'm not risking that by having you show up randomly around my office. And I don't need you scaring my patients away. Who let you in?"
"I flirted with the nice man at the reception desk. You should consider hitting that." Amy pulled a flask out of her boot.
"…That's a woman."
"Huh. But he has a mustache."
"It's a disorder called hypertrichosis caused by an androgen imbalance-"
"Alright alright, no need to go all… dermatologist on me. You can just say, "I don't want to hit that, Amy, I'm not into that sort of stuff, please find me someone else to bed tonight."" Amy mocked in a high pitched voice.
"I do not sound like that." Allison stated.
Amy took a swig. "You're going to if you don't getchyourself another man. Rebound." She pumped her fist.
"I broke up with Evan yesterday. And I'm certainly not in any hurry to get back on the scene."
"What about that guy? He's cute. Your type." Amy craned her neck to see through the window over the man's cubicle wall more. "Probably got a bigger package than Evan."
"Jesus! That's my cousin!"
"Wow. You really need to get away from work. How about I take you out to a club tonight? Some girl time. Partyin. It'll be fun."
"No." Allison looked back down at her papers and resorted back to the pencil again to make herself look busy. The tip snapped again.
"Honey. Look at yourself. You know why that keeps happening? Because you're stressed out. And I know exactly what you need in a time like this. You need a man to make you forget everything but his name for a few minutes. You haven't gotten a proper lovin' in almost a year!"
"You know Evan was my boyfriend, right? What do you think we did? Why… am I still appeasing you by responding to your absurdity. I have work to do. Leave my office. Now. I'll call security."
"The "security" is some random dude who didn't even qualify for a janitor's position. Your dad felt bad for him and hired him anyway. You never even see him anyway! By the way, he's in the Bahamas right now." She set the flask down precariously close to Allison's paperwork. "I know Evan's little "shrinky-dink" never gave you the lovin' that you need just as much as you know it."
"I've never said "shrinky-dink."
"But you've thought it."
"Okay, how do you know every intimate and embarrassing detail of my life and love to talk about them in public, but you don't even know who my cousin is!?"
Amy shrugged. "Lucky guess."
Allison sighed and gave her a death glare, knowing Amy wasn't going to leave until Amy felt like it.
"Alright, look. My job is to protect you. I only intervene when I think you're not being treated right, and clearly your cousin's never done anything bad to you because he's not on my radar. What, do you think I sit around all day watching an Allison TV? I'd be bored to death. I watch some Seinfeld."
Allison wasn't even offended. "Well, clearly you're wrong, because he has done something bad to me, and you weren't there to "protect" me, were you? He put a-"
"Yeah yeah, I know, his name is Joshua and he put a snake in your bathing suit when you were nine and it bit you on the lips, and you had to have an emergency room doctor look at it which was one of your most embarrassing moments, wasn't it?" Amy laughed like they were good friends sharing old memories.
Allison's jaw dropped.
"Don't worry. I didn't protect you in that exact moment. Lost a bet with his guardian angel… But I made sure we got our revenge…"
Allison looked shocked even further. "You broke his pitching arm!?"
"And proud." Amy bragged.
"You know that ended his chances of having a baseball career."
"Oh, please, you could chuck a baseball better than he could, just nobody ever recognized it. No one thought a girl could play."
Allison was silent for a moment while she thought things over. The evidence of this woman actually being her protector of some sort was piling up, and Allison, as a skeptic, wanted to learn more. "Okay: If you agree to leave my office right now and not show up in my workplace ever again, I will go to a club with you tonight."
"A week."
"What?"
"Asking me to never show up here forever is asking a lot. How about for a week."
"B-"
"I hope you know you're not getting a better offer."
"…Fine. Just… no more blurting embarrassing things about me in public, alright? You seem to really like doing that, in an almost sadistic way."
"Maybe. This is gonna be fun! We're gonna find you a real man with a lot goin' on downthere." Amy winked at her. "And not in the herpes kind of way."
"You can't know the size of a man's dick just by looking at him."
Amy laughed loudly. "Oh, honey, you have so much to learn. I'll show you a trick or two." She grinned and slipped the flask back in her boot. "I'll pick you up after work."
"You ride a bicycle." Allison pointed out.
"Touché. Okay, you'll pick me up, but I'll be waiting right next to your car in the parking garage."
"It's creepy."
"That's how I do." Amy pulled another flask out of her shirt and tipped it to the sky as she walked out, but not before walking straight into the door jamb, and choking a little bit.
Allison sighed and rubbed her eyes, not entirely convinced the previous conversation had just happened. She stuck her arm out blindly for her pencil, and knocked over something metal. Looking up with dread, she saw that Amy had left yet another open flask on her desk, which was now spilling all over her notes.
"What the hell did you just agree to?" She whispered to herself.
~/~