Scorpion Princess
There was once a princess who lived far in the Sahara desert. She didn't have any friends and lived by herself in a lonely little cottage. She ate scorpions and cacti for breakfast, frogs and turtles for lunch, and for dinner, she ate whatever was left. She was very pretty but nobody seemed to care. I mean, she lived in the freaking Sahara! Anyway, one day, while she was searching for dead scorpions, she had an epiphany.
"Wow, I suck!" She said. Her epiphany told her two things. The first was that she was lonely and retarded. The second was that the scorpions were driving her crazy. She all of a sudden, wanted to get out of the desert but she didn't know how. So, she went home and got on her super, high-tech, high speed computer that she spent all of her money on (Thus living in the desert). She looked up how to escape but she was stupid and forgot how to spell escape. The computer got confused and blew up.
Far off, the blow of the computer somehow made its way to Hollywood and Johnny Depp heard it. He felt like a hero, threw on his Jack Sparrow costume and flew on his private jet, right to the spot where the princess's computer blew. He flew down and greeted her with a deep bow. The princess had obsessed over him since she had seen him on her high tech computer. She knew all his secrets and loved all of him. She felt faint as he grabbed her hand to get her out of the desert. Then, he looked closer and decided that he didn't like this beautiful princess. He ripped his hand away from her's and flew off, leaving her in the desert.
She never washed that hand (like she washed anything) and obsessed over it day and night. Every day she would talk to her Johnny Depp-ed hand and every night, she would worship it.
Then one day, the scorpion poison that she had eaten since she was 3, killed her. Then she died. And was never seen again…because she died. Now she is dead. Because she was killed and now she's dead. Poor princess, Audrey. Now she is dead.
THE END