A/N a quick fic probably only 2-3 chapters, well that's the plan we'll see how we go. I suppose it all depends on that little review button, the more reviews the more ideas that might pop into my pretty little head. But for now, it's not my head were in, its jacks.

Well his thoughts anyway, and yes he's been just about killed, saving carter of course, anyhoo, hop too and start reading.

All jacks thoughts are in italics.

Jacks hurt.

Ouch, man that hurts, I can't see, whys everything so black? Am I dead? No I'm thinking I can't be dead. Did I ascend? Where's Oma then? No I'm pretty sure Daniel said he saw stuff. Maybe I'm trapped… nope can't move at all, must be dead… oh well, time to see which one truly is god.

'Hello? Hi god?... hey Aphophis? Cronus? Hathor… Anubis? Will one of ya get your stinking buts down here?... Thor buddy?... anybody?'

What's that?

Is that carter?

'Carter…that you?..Ok angel I'd believe but god...goddess it's a bit of a stretch isn't it?'

That's her voice isn't it?...wonder what she's saying?

Hang on carter's god?

No this is all wrong…what's she saying?

Oh right, she's not god, didn't think so.

I'm hurt… that makes sense… well actually she's not making sense because it's all techno babble, right, ill just nod and agree and wait for a word that I recognize.

'So where am I?'

Ohh infirmary, woah woah.. Back up, I'm hurt, badly, with a teary voice, what happened?

Eye patches… right. So that's why it's all black, why can't I talk, ouch that hurts… note to self don't try and talk. Oh right, really? My jaws wired shut? Starting to make sense.

'Okay okay, carter skip to the bit about what happened'

No, no I don't care about the cord on my,

'Ouch... carter, what'da'ya think you're doing? Oh right thanks yeah...'

'So how's Daniel and Teal'c?' oh right… the heating's on, like I care about that. U-huh, temperature… u-huh, yeah… blah blah blah… yeahp, ok u-huh….

'Wow what's that?' cold cold cold, oh the doctor that's great… love the doctors, breathe jack breathe, hate doctors jack. … jack is in pain… if jack could move he'd hit something, jack hates doctors Jack is now referring to himself in third person. Hate doctors hate hate hate.

'Ouch, watch where you're putting that needle!'

'Hey, no no not my butt…please not my no, not my…..butt-oooouch!'

'Its ok sir…it will be over in a moment'

'Great…she's still here…and she can see my butt, great. Whoa, cold'

'Sorry sir'

Wait was that her hand on my butt? Great, just what I wanted….

'Fan-freakin'- tastic!' her hands on my butt, yeah ok… maybe this will work out well.

'Good they're leaving me alone….'

'Sorry about that sir…you'll be good for a while now…'

Yeah that's ok carter anytime… and she's thanking me for letting her hands be on my butt…'AWSOME!'

'Ohh, just… uh'

'Ouch, hey carter...that hurts…what are you doing?'

Oh c'mon, don't, no hey…don't touch me there, no no no don't touch that... no! OH, WHAT! Craftier!

"no way!' you cannot be fixing my craftier, you shouldn't have your pretty little fingers anywhere near my…. Well… ok, no, maybe, that's ok, just not…

'Oh-oh, no think... no don't think, no think...not happy thoughts…bad thoughts… bad bad death dying terrifying bad...cafite-ouucchh!' yep I think that just about did it.

'Ok…all done sir'

Yeah she would have a big smile on her oversized head right now, I can hear it.

What! As if things aren't bad enough, she's laughing, that is definite laughter.

'You just wait carter…when I can talk again I'm going to reprimand you butt to high hell, you are so getting a what for!'

'Oh, you're probably wondering about the others hey'

'Well yes actually carter... like ten minutes ago, it's ok I've been sitting here worrying and it's only now you bring them up, yes there will be a scolding for that too'

Geez this no talking thing really sucks.

'Well Teal'c had to go to dekara, he left as soon as he found out you were ok, it's something about brata'c needing his help, and Daniels gone to lunch'

Great buncha friends, I'm here dying and their of feeding their faces and on holidays.

''although he's sporting a pink cast on his leg, I got the last blue one on my ankle,'

She's cute when she giggles like that

'Besides that there's not a scratch on me…. Thanks to you… actually, I have a nice shiner on my eye, its uhh pretty impressive…'

Is she crying, her voice defiantly cracked

'Oh carter, no no don't cry... carter I promise I won't yell at you... just don't cry, I won't tell you off for laughing at me and...And see I can't even remember what I was going to yell at you for…just please don't cry, I hate it when you cry…carter'

'You really should be more careful next time…not that I...' her voice wobbled to a halt, but she continued with a deep breath.

Good, good girl, don't cry… angels don't cry…well, turned out it was you after all but I thought you were…

'Shut up jack and listen.'

'not that I don't appreciate it… but I kinda feel bad… real bad, you know a broken leg, fractured thigh, broken arm and collarbone, bruised sternum and shattered jaw, I was so worried there were a few days when we didn't think you were going to make it through….'

I wish there was something I could do….oh...look I can smile…kind of...weirdly…can she see that?

'Look carter down here...smiling…see I'm ok…ouch'

'It's just you shouldn't have saved me like that… I feel so bad, just...don't do it again ok'

'Pfft yeah whatever' is she giggling again... hey she actually giggles... oh how girly.

Oh look at that sir. You've got an egg on your head too… no that was there already...oh well at least I get a lifetime supply of blue jell-O until you get better'

She's giggling again, while I'm here in excruciating pain, or at least so she informs me… , the morphemes actually working pretty well, but that's not the point…I could be in pain..And she's laughing at me…

'Carter stop laughing… it's not funny'

'Carter!'

'Now what are you doing? I hear goop?'

'you know I'm only taking watch so I can have the jell-O right, ill read to you in a minute, Daniel bought some really boring fishing magazines for us to read to you.'

And there she goes giggling again...

'You know what carter…I could listen to that sound all day… sounds like angels singing'

A/N ok sappy crap...I'm enjoying it though...actually my friends wouldn't believe I can write this. Believe it or not I'm not a sappy romance type of person...I'm a dog person...not people, but ok anyway im enjoying writing it.. But remember I only update if I get enough nice reviews… enough is… I don't know, get clicking and find out. :D