The Day that I Die
I was sitting in bed thinking over the two dreams that I had.
"Damn, I was really hoping they were real….except the killing of me all the time." I said out loud. I got up and searched the house for my parents. I thought it was kind of strange for them to both be gone on a Saturday morning. I was automatically bored….it was my nature. So, I sat down on the couch and watched some good old Saturday morning cartoons. I wasn't really paying attention to the story line, just sort of relaxing by watching all the pretty colors flash by. Then, my stomach rumbled. I was starving but too damn lazy to get up and eat anything. So, I sat, focusing on the food in the cartoon. Each time a new food showed itself, I became hungrier. Then, something interesting happened. There was a distant yell and something flew through my roof and landed on the floor. The famous commercial passed through my mind.
"Life comes at you fast." I thought as this mysterious creature rose through the dust. He walked out of the cloud and my heart skipped a beat. It was my one true love, Jack Sparrow. He was smiling and holding a box of cheerios in his left hand.
"I brought these for you, my love." He said. I smiled and rose from the couch.
"Oh! Why thank you!" I said, reaching for the bowl. He glared and me and whipped the bowl of heart-healthy oh's from my reach.
"How dare you!" He said. I stared at him, trying to wrap my brain around what he was doing.
"What did I do?" I asked.
"You dare to reach for my love's Cheerios! They are good for your heart! I don't want your heart to be healthy!!" I looked into his deep brown eyes and felt hot tears start to form. He held his head high and walked into the kitchen. I followed, curious of what he could possibly be doing. He set the Cheerios on the counter and stood in the middle of the kitchen. He held his hands together and closed his eyes.
"Come!!!! Oh great beast of the world we have yet to see!!!!" He called. There was thunder from outside.
"I have brought ye the one thing ye desires!!!"
He can't be talking about those stupid Cheerios. I thought. He turned to me with a glare that could kill any great warrior.
"How dare ye call the mighty Cheerios stupid!!!" he screamed.
My God! You can hear my thoughts!" I said, but he was no longer listening. There was a loud bang and a cloud of dust appeared before Jack. The dust cleared to reveal a hamster.
A…hamster is the mighty beast? I thought. I started laughing…bad idea!! The hamster looked at me and opened its mouth. This things mouth opened to be big enough to swallow jack in one gulp.
"DO NOT LAUGH AT ME! YOU WENCH!!" It roared, hurting my ears. I walked over to it….and stomped on it. It went splat. Then, I looked at Jack and his eyes were fire. Before I could think, he tipped the refrigerator on top of me, ultimately destroying me.
A week later, Audrey was found when her parents came back from Hawaii. They grieved for longer than expected…a whole hour then, she was forgotten. Her parents pumped out another kid to replace her.
(Author's Note: We really do love Audrey and I mean none of this)