By The Bubbles
Summary- Left to his own devices, Pyro sneaks into everyone's rooms and reads their diaries.
Disclaimer- Pyro, in all his awesomeness, is the property of Stan Lee, whose shoes I am not worthy to tie the laces of. I'm not worthy!
A/N- There's a bit of, okay, a lot of Romy in this chapter. I'm not usually one for romance, but Romy is one of two pairing I will fight in flamewars over.
Edited for your reading pleasure- My apologies for the crappy way this was posted the first time, I had spacers, but ffn ate them. (Thanks go to Yemi Hikari for pointing them out.) Now, I've fixed the typos and changed the spacers, and I would also like to point out that even though Pyro is reading an actual diary entry, it has been redone in third-person narrative, for the simple reason that I can't write in first person. However, it is still from the writer's perspective, so things like opinions and comparisons are that person's ideas. Also, when it says someone else feels a certain way, that way is the writer's interpretation of that person's reaction; for example, Rogue's battle of wills. While it is a possibility that she felt that way, chances were she didn't. I'm also going to try putting my a/n's in bold, so you can navigate through them if you wish.
(o.o.o)
//Denotes thought//
(o.o.o)
Chapter 1- The Doggy Convention and the Obstacle Course of Doom(o.o.o)
Pyro was alone at the base that day- in hindsight, not the best of ideas on Magneto's part. Everyone, even Piotr, had plans. He was alone, and it was quiet, and he was bored.
Pyro hung upside down half off the bed and sang along to the music blasting from his stereo.
"Remember…da da da! What the dormouse said! Da da da! 'Feed your head!" He flipped right side up. "What dormouse? The one from Alice? Did he really say that? I don' remember that part!" (1)
He darted across the hall to Gambit's room, intent on checking the Cajun's room for a copy of "Alice in Wonderland." After reading through the part about the dormouse, he put the book down disappointedly.
"He didn't say that! The song liiiiiied to me!"
He slumped down on the floor beside Gambit's bed and was prepared for a good sulk when he spotted something taped to the underside of Gambit's bed. It was a book. He took it down. Better than a book! It was Gambit's diary!
Before I go any further, I must backtrack about three weeks. You see, Magneto, tired of the horrible way his minions behaved, had hired Doctor Kayla Skylar, Therapist Extraordinaire, to help them with their teamwork skills. After several group and solitary sessions, they had moved on to the teamwork exercises. They didn't get farther than the trust exercise. You know, the one where you fall and someone catches you? That one would have gone well, had not Pyro tried to catch Piotr. Piotr, of course, was too large for St. John, and flattened him into a Pyro pancake. After that, Doc Skylar told them all to start keeping diaries because then they could get out their aggressions and pent up emotions without killing each other.
Ok, now back to the story.
Pyro flipped through the pages of Gambit's diary, completely ignoring the label on the cover that said, "Private, Keep Out, This Means You, Pyro." The pages of Gambit's diary were adorned with things like 'Remy and Rogue 4-Eva' and 'Gambit 3's Rogue.' There were also doodles of Pyro in various execution devices, such as the guillotine and the chair. There was even one of Pyro tied to a stake, doodled flames licking at his doodled body. Pro grabbed a marker and added a thought bubble to the doodle.
"Nice try, Remy, but fire shall ne'er destroy me! Muahaha!"
In all fairness, Gambit was torturing doodles of the other Acolytes and a few X-Men, too, just not as frequently, which hurt Pyro's feelings. He read the entry of the page he was on.
(o.o.o)
Yesterday was the worst day of my life, and I have it all to blame on that idiot pyromaniac John. What started as a lovely day turned into a nightmare with claws.
(o.o.o)
Gambit shrugged into a red t-shirt and jeans. It was too hot for his coat, and his usual uniform looked weird without it, so he was wearing civvies today.
The Cajun trotted downstairs for breakfast and found Pyro already in the kitchen, sitting at the table in a white undershirt and orange boxers, eating from a bowl of rice krispies© with a big pile of sugar on top. Gambit quirked an eyebrow.
//All dat sugar… he gonna be more hyper dan a cheerleader on crack. And wouldn' y' know dat it would be Gambit turn to baby-sit?//
"What we gonna do today, mate? Huh? What we gonna do?"
The sugar seemed to be kicking in already, and Gambit was mentally kicking himself for wiggling out of his babysitting duties the last two times. No way Colossus would agree to switch a third time, even if he was there. Which he wasn't.
"Gambit gonna go spy on de X-Men. Are you coming along?"
Pyro grinned toothily. "You mean yer gonna go spy on that moody Sheila with the white bangs, until she spots ya and sics the hairy Canadian bloke on ya, doncha?"
"Are you coming, or not?" Gambit asked crossly. "Cause if you're not-" It was a bluff, because Gambit couldn't leave him alone, but Pyro didn't know that.
"No no no, I'm coming!" He ran upstairs and returned moments later clad in an orange t-shirt and jeans, trying to put on his left shoe while he hopped down the stairs on his right. About halfway down, he lost his balance and rolled down the stairs, landing in a rather undignified position on the floor. He put his shoe on and grinned up at Gambit. "Ready when you are, Remmers."
Gambit stalked off. "De name is Gambit. Not Remmers."
Pyro jumped to his feet and followed cheerfully behind his irked companion. He was being particularly bouncy today, because of all the sugar, and periodically would start bouncing up and down, kind of like that little dog that hangs out with Spike in the Looney Toons cartoon. You know the one. He's always bouncing around going on about how Spike is his hero? That was Pyro, minus the dorky sweater.
They arrived at the Manor without incident, unless you want to count Gambit's three attempts to blow Pyro off the face of the earth, and Pyro seven attempts to bug the stray dogs that seemed to be congregating in the area.
"It's time for the Doggy Conveeentiiiiiiiiooooooon!"(2) He sang as he chased the dogs with a giant flaming beetle. Not that he would have actually hurt them, he just liked teasing them.
"What's with him?" A distinct Southern drawl said from somewhere around his knee.
Startled, Gambit looked down. It was Rogue, crouching down a few inches away from him and trying to console a small dog with scruffy fur.
"Chere! Gambit was just coming to see you!" He leant down and helped her to her feet, immensely jealous of the dog cradled in her arms.
"Whaddya want, Swamp Rat?"
"How bout a little kiss, Chere?" He looked into her eyes as charmingly as possible.
"Ya'd end up in the hospital." She warned. "Ah'm tellin' ya, ya don't want it as much as ya think."
"Gambit t'ink it be worth it."
She sighed. "Even crazy Swamp Rats like you deserve a gal they can touch, 'stead of one who drains their energy."
"You can drain my energy anytime, Chere. Gambit got plenty." He charged a card to prove his point and tossed it into the air, where it disappeared in a puff of smoke.(3)
They stood there, engaged in a silent battle of wills, or more specifically, Rogue's wills (give in to desire or protect Gambit?), for several seconds before a pack of dogs ran between them, Pyro's fire beetle scuttling after them. They both stepped back instinctively, and the moment was gone. Gambit mentally cursed Pyro. He would get no kiss today.
"Excuse me a minute," Rogue said, interrupting Gambit's mental rant. "Ah think it's tahme ta stop 'im before someone gets hurt."
She shoved the scruffy pup into Gambit's arms and stalked off to where Pyro was standing, taking off her gloves as she did. She waited until her opportune moment, and pounced.
This was not actually as easy as it seems, because Pyro was not as much 'standing' as he was 'dancing around a small area like a savage' and generally being a hyperactive idiot.
Once Rogue had drained his energy, she put her hands to her head and moaned.
"Great, now that Aussie nutter's runnin' around in me head. Make it stop! Get out o' mah head!"
Gambit dropped the dog, which ran off with the others, and rushed to Rogue's side. He helped her stand, the second time in ten minutes, and supported her while she wobbled.
"What's wrong, Chere?"
"It's that stupid Aussie, mate." She scowled at this use of slang. "All I can think about is fire and sugar and something called a Yoko, and I've got this urge to call everyone mate." She shuddered. "How do you put up with him every single day?"
Gambit shrugged. "Remy just used to him, dat's all. It's de price of bein' an Acolyte." He grabbed her elbow and guided her over to Pyro's car, which was parked under a nearby tree. They sat down. "Don' worry, Chere, Gambit know how to deal with Pyro's powers. He'll help."
"Thanks mate." She scowled, and pointed at Pyro, who was still lying in the middle of the road. "Shouldn't we get him before he gets run ova?"
"If you want, Chere. Personally, Gambit'd rather leave him dere."
Nonetheless, he did as she asked and brought Pyro over to the car and dumped him unceremoniously into the backseat. He jumped into the driver's seat with a suggestive wink.
"What say you let Gambit take you somewhere nice, anh, Chere? Gambit know somewhere pleasant, where we can be alone."
Rogue sighed. "Well normally I'd say no, but right now I've got that," She pointed at Pyro, "in mah head, and his personality's over-ridin' mahne." She vaulted over into the passenger side seat and sulked. "I hate mah powers."
Gambit grinned and pulled the car out. Pyro had inadvertently given him the perfect excuse to spend a day with Rogue, and he wasn't going to waste it.
(o.o.o)
He took her to a quaint little café tucked away on the outskirts of Bayville. There were only three customers other than them, and they left Pyro asleep in the back of the car. The occasional snore emanated from the parking lot, letting them know that he was still there.
"It's so annoyin' having someone as crazy as him in mah head. Crazy people are hard to suppress! Ah can't control him! 'Kiss de Girl' is playin' ova and ova in mah head. Ah can't tell if he wants us ta kiss or if he's just stuck on 'The Little Mermaid' and had the song in his head when Ah absorbed him!"
Gambit chuckled. "Why don't you take his advice, Chere? It get Pyro out of your head, no?"
"No. Then I'd just have tha two of ya in mah head tagether… conspirin' or something."
Gambit chuckled. "Gambit's not de type to conspire in someone else's head."
"Gambit…" She shook her head. "Why do you always talk about yourself in tha third person? Do you not like pronouns or somethin'?"
"It ads to de appeal, no?" He leaned across the table toward her. She followed suit and smiled.
"No," She said, and stood up and walked out of the restaurant. Gambit sighed and paid the bill.
"Gambit do not understan' dis woman."
(o.o.o)
Here the narrative stopped, and Gambit had scribbled down a not. Rogue is a total mystery. One minute, she seems as if she likes me, and the next, it's as if someone's flipped a switch and she becomes a whole different person. It's not even like she's playing hard-to-get, either. I wish she would just tell me how she feels instead of playing with my emotions like she always does.
(o.o.o)
Gambit was enjoying himself. He was with Rogue, and things were going well. Sure Pyro was still snoring in the back seat, but even that was forgettable. Things were going so well, in fact, that Gambit was pretty much accepting the fact that something was about to happen.
"Ow, crikey, my head! 'T's pounding like that time Sab's threw me through the walls!" He sat up, clutching his head. "What ran over me?"
Gambit sighed. "Bout time you woke up. Y'been out like a light for an hour o' two now."
"We were startin' to bet on how long y' were gonna sleep." Rogue turned to Gambit. "Ah won, by the way."
"Merde," he said softly, and out loud, "That y'did, Chere. Gambit'll pay ya when we get back."
At precisely that moment, a chain of events happened that made Gambit's day go from gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow to Vegeta-is-about-to-blast-you-for-eating-his-Lucky-Charms©.
First, a large hairy Canadian thing dropped out of the tree they were passing under, causing Gambit to slam on the brakes, which caused the car to skid into said tree, in turn causing Pyro to squeal like a little girl, presumably at the fact that the large hairy Canadian thing was about to kill them, but possibly because there were now several dents in his convertible. Gambit let out a long chain of French curses as Wolverine pulled him bodily from the car and threw him onto the ground.
"Enough of the dishware, Gumbo," he growled. (4) "You next, Crocodile Dundee."
Pyro yelped and jumped out of the car. He dropped onto the ground beside Gambit and gave Logan his most pleading look.
"Please don't kill me, I was unconscious! I had nothing to do with this!"
"Pyro!"
"Sorry, Rem, y'can't always save everybody."
"Look, I don't care what you did or didn't do, you're both coming back to the manor now."
"Why?"
"Ask the Professor when ya see 'im. He didn't seem to think I needed to know."
He stalked off, dragging Australian and Cajun behind him. Rogue followed, fiddling with a Zippo lighter that she'd stolen from Pyro while she had his powers and resulting pyromania.
(o.o.o)
"Ah, Gambit and Pyro." Xavier folded his hands pleasantly as Wolverine threw them unceremoniously onto the floor of the Professor's office. Rogue stood off to the side, curious as to what he could possibly want with them. "You probably want to know what I sent Wolverine to fetch you for."
"Yes," they said, more or less simultaneously.
"I have noticed that the two of you, and your friend Colossus as well, seem to spend a good deal of time with my students and around the school. I thought I might extend an invitation to you to join with the X-Men, or at the very least as allies. The invitation goes to Sabretooth and Mastermind as well, though I doubt very much that Sabretooth would be interested in joining any team with Wolverine on it." At this Wolverine snorted. "Or that Wolverine would be willing to stay on a team that Sabretooth were to join," he added.
"I dunno, mate," Pyro said, rubbing his chin in thought. "Wouldn' be right ta jus' up and leave ole Magsy, jus' like that." He grinned. "Besides, it don' seem like the X-Men ever get to have fun."
Xavier's next line probably would have sounded something like this: "No, we do not do anything fun, because we are sticks in the mud and think only how we are told, but we are a team and we care about each other, blah blah blah." However, Wolverine spoke first.
"Why don't I show 'em exactly how much fun we have, Professor?" He shicked out one claw and held it threateningly under Pyro's nose. "They'll know what fun is when I get done with them."
"Very well, Logan. Just don't go too hard on them."
Wolverine smiled sadistically. "Whatever you say, Chuck. Right this way, boys."
Gambit sighed. It was going to be one of those days, he could just feel it.
(o.o.o)
Gambit had left another note at this point.
I know now why Sabretooth considers Wolverine his greatest opponent. He made us take what Mon Chere called the Obstacle Course of Doom, and according to Tabby, his idea of a laugh is to add more insanely fatal obstacles. Since it's Pyro's fault I had to go on the obstacle course instead of spending more time with Mon Chere, I have decided that I will kill him in the most slow and painful way possible.
(o.o.o)
Tabby and Kitty were sitting on the fountain when Wolverine dragged the two Acolytes by. Their gaze followed the path he was taking and immediately concluded where they were going. Kitty giggled.
"It looks like Bobby won't be the first to experience the new additions Mr. Logan added to the Obstacle Course of Doom, after all," she said to Tabby, then called to Gambit and Pyro, "Good luck! Try not to die!"
Prior to them leaving, Rogue had informed them of what Wolverine had in mind.
"We call it tha Obstacle Course of Doom," she explained. "Logan saves it for punishing tha students or fo' getting' rid o' aggressions. No one's eva made it all the way to tha end, not even Logan. They always give up first."
Gambit had smirked at this statement. "Den Gambit'll be de first. Maybe you reward him wid a kiss if he do, no?"
Now that the course was laid out in front of him, he didn't feel quite so confident. He could see sand traps, water traps, barbed wire, walls, barbed wire on walls, fences, columns, a mini swamp, metal tentacles, a mini ravine, a large pit, rocks of all shape, size, and color, catapults, lasers, cages, nets, and for some strange reason, a straw scarecrow dressed and painted to resemble Cyclopes.
That was just the stuff that hadn't been hidden.
Pyro was visibly shaking in his orange high-tops, and Gambit was beginning to wonder if maybe begging for mercy was really below his dignity.
"Well what are ya' waitin' for?" Wolverine asked viciously. "Get started."
He pushed them into the boundary of the course and hit the on button.
It was, in a word, a nightmare. They had barely regained their balance when a claw on the end of a long metal tentacle reached over and grabbed Gambit by the back of his shirt. It swung him around the air amid various French curses. He tried to charge the tentacle, but he couldn't manage to get a good hold and it continued to swing him.
"Hang on, Rem!" Pyro called.
He dug around in his pockets searching for his lighter, but it was gone. Gambit swore again when he remembered that Rogue had taken the pyromaniac's lighter. He reached into his pocket for his cards and threw one at the claw. It exploded, dropping him to the ground.
"I don' have me lighter, mate!" Pyro said frantically, once Gambit was on the ground again. Gambit took out his staff and thrust it into Pyro's hands.
"You know how to use dat. Use it!"
There was no more time for talking after that, because they had to focus on getting through the course. They immediately took off in the general direction of the end. Not two seconds later, a metal wall shot out of the ground in front of them. Without thinking twice, Pyro used Gambit's staff to vault on top of it. He reached down and grabbed his Cajun companion and pulled him up after him. They jumped down, and the ground fell out from under them. Gambit grabbed the ledge of the pit with one hand and the belt loop of Pyro's jeans with the other. He swung him out of the hole and climbed up after him.
After that was a clear stretch, or at least what seemed like one. About halfway across, Pyro managed to trip a wire stretched across the field, and then he was dangling upside down from a pole that shot out of the ground. Using Remy's staff, he undid the knot and flipped back onto the ground.
Gambit was a little way ahead, fighting the Cyclops scarecrow, which was in fact a robot. Scott-bot shot eyebeams at the Cajun, who jumped and dodged, dancing around the robot. Pyro caught up and tossed the staff at it. The staff buried itself in its chest, and Gambit grabbed it. He used it to trip the bot, and charged it before it could get up. They ran, and Gambit shoved Pyro onto the ground just as the resulting explosion shook the grounds.
As they climbed to their feet, a large portion of the field opened up, and a series of columns leading across the resulting chasm rose up. The columns wobbled a bit, unsteady due to the small center of gravity available. Gambit gulped, but Pyro, the adrenaline pumping so hard that fear was not even optional, leap-frogged over them. Gambit followed after a moment's hesitation. At one point he slipped, and managed to grab an outcrop on the column. In his haste, he accidentally charged it, and the resulting explosion set him soaring out of the pit to where Pyro was waiting.
There was a mini-swamp after the chasm. This Gambit had no problem navigating; in swamps he was in his element. He guided Pyro past the bogs and managed to only get stuck once. A conveniently placed log assisted them in getting out, and they ran along it the rest of the way to the shore.
There was a quarry next, and just when Gambit climbed on top of the first rock, several spikes shot out of it, coming uncomfortably close to skewering him. He broke off one of the spikes and used it as a replacement staff to vault along the rocks and avoid the traps that sprung from them, while Pyro followed suit close behind.
The quarry behind them, they now had to deal with a maze of barbed wire and nets. Pyro snagged on it on his first step, and got the idea to crawl under it. Gambit waited until he had emerged on the other side before reaching down and charging the entire thing. It exploded, and he caught up with Pyro on the other side.
They paused then to catch their breath. They were at the top of a slope, and they could see to the end of the course.
"Aw, man!" Pyro said.
They weren't even halfway through.
They took the hill at a steady trot. There were no apparent obstacles, but there could always be some hidden below the ground- and sure enough, halfway to the bottom of the hill, machines set up around them began firing off lasers completely at random. Gambit managed to evade them, but Pyro singed a hole into the seat of his jeans. He yelped, and Gambit turned to him. This moment of distraction was all the lasers needed. One hit him square in the chest, and knocked him down the hill into an electric fence. His scream cut through the air, and Pyro half ran, half slid down the hill to him.
Since he didn't have his lighter, he had to find another way to shut off the fence, which had seemingly come to life and wrapped Gambit up to stop him going anywhere. He finally settled on using the staff to destroy the control panel of the electric tentacles. It let go of Gambit, who fell to the ground on all fours, gasping for breath.
Pyro helped him to his feet.
"Are you good to go on, mate?" The electricity had charred away portions of Gambit's shirt, and he was smoking slightly. Black marks adorned the portions of exposed skin. "Y' don' look s' good."
"No, Gambit's aright. He… he be fine."
He staggered away past the now dormant electric tentacles, muttering to himself in French- he was too shaken up to form coherent English sentences.
They came to a mini ravine next. They got over this fairly easily by using the staff to vault over. They landed on the edge of a wide stretch of water, and managed to wade about halfway across before the large robotic fish swam over to them. Gambit, having had enough of the whole thing, charged the water around them, destroying the fish. The resulting shockwave carried them to the opposite shore.
They landed in a heap in the sand and just stayed there. The Obstacle Course of Doom had gotten to them. They had given up.
How long they lay there, they didn't know, but after a while, Pyro stirred and rolled off of Gambit. He sat up and buried his fingers in his spiky red-blonde hair and stared at the ground.
"Ehhh, Remmers, I don' think I c'n finish the course." There was silence. "Remy?"
He shook Gambit frantically, and the Cajun grunted in reply. It was the only response he could manage. He had been feeling drained since the electric tentacles had shocked him, and charging the water had completely drained his energy. He couldn't even manage the energy to swear.
His last coherent thought was that Rogue would not like it that he'd given up, and then he blacked out.
(o.o.o)
He woke some time later in an infirmary. The window nearby was open, allowing cool air to blow in; from the moon high in the sky, he could tell it was probably somewhere around midnight.
He sat up and looked around. Pyro was asleep on the next bed, his sheets wrapped around his legs and one arm raised above his head. As Gambit watched, he muttered something about pudding and rolled over.
"Ah, good, you're awake."
Gambit whipped his head around and saw the furry blue man- what was his name? Beast?- coming toward him.
"What happened? De last t'ing Gambit remember is de obstacle course dat Wolverine made us do."
"Well then let me fill you in. Shortly after you passed out, Pyro called for assistance. Nightcrawler came and brought you back to the infirmary, but Pyro insisted on finishing the course alone."
"Why'd he go and do a fool t'ing like dat?"
"I asked him. He said, 'We can't disappoint the moody Sheila. Remmers is down for the count, so I have to finish alone.' He also said that it was his fault the Electric Tentacles were able to cause you so much damage."
"Did he finish?"
"Why yes, as a matter of fact he did. He is the first to do so, however, Logan has insisted that it doesn't count, since he used the lighter Nightcrawler brought him to start a fire that destroyed the remaining obstacle course. He's sulking now; he'll have to rebuild the course. Regardless of whether the win counts, the fact remains that the two of you got farther than anyone has before."
"Well… Dat's always nice t' know." He stood up. "Gambit be seeing y' den."
He wobbled a bit, and Beast grabbed his elbow and forced him to sit back down.
"You're not going anywhere. You're not fit."
"Gambit be fine. Ng." He held his head. "Soon as de room stop spinnin,' anyway."
"I'm afraid I cannot allow that. There is no reason for you to leave so quickly. You are recovering, and Magneto has already been informed of your situation. He will not expect you home until tomorrow at the soonest. If you are feeling well then, then you may leave."
Gambit tried to stand and found this quite difficult. He lay back down, squinching his eyes shut against the pain in his head.
"All right. You win. Gambit be a good boy an' stay put."
(o.o.o)
Gambit woke up late in the morning. Pyro was still asleep- this came as no surprise, since Pyro was unaware that there was a time before 11 am. Gambit stretched, surprised at how loudly his bones popped as he did. His clothes were folded up on a table beside his bed. He changed into them before shaking Pyro.
"S' too early t' get up," Pyro mumbled. He sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Whr' 'm I?"
"We at de Institute. We did dat Obstacle Course o' Doom yesterday, remember?"
"Oh yeah, I remember now. They said I was the first person ever ta' finish the course!"
He stretched, and sitting there in just his undershirt and boxers, Gambit could finally see the damage that Logan's deathtrap had done to them.
Scratches, presumably from the barbed wire, adorned his scrawny arms and what was visible of his torso. One eye was puffy and swollen, and a burn mark, which Gambit found out later was the result of a laser, was under the other. His right index and middle finger were bound in a splint, and several bruises adorned his pale chicken legs.
He caught Gambit staring at him and grinned.
"Don' worry, mate, I don't feel nearly as bad as you look. Besides, I didn't leave the course unconscious. And you know me. Residual and all that."
"You mean resilient, Mon Ami." Pyro's ability to recover quickly from trauma was one of the things that Magneto had found appealing in him. Though his healing prowess was the same as any other person, he bounced back quickly. In essence, nothing could get him down for long.
Gambit considered him for a minute while he dressed.
"Why'd you do it, Pyro?"
"Why'd I do what?"
"You know."
Pyro smiled at him. "You know why, Remy. That hairy guy said we couldn't. And you know I can't say know to a challenge. Besides, that moody Sheila of yours woulda been disappointed."
Gambit chose to ignore this comment and looked around.
"By de way, where is Rogue? She not even care dat poor Gambit's in de hospital?"
Pyro shrugged. "Who knows with Sheila's, mate? 'Specially that one. She's moodier then a crocodile with a sunburn."
Gambit laughed at this and the two made their way to the kitchen. Or at least, in the general direction of the kitchen. Having spent very little time in the Institute, neither of them was familiar with room locations- except for Rogue's, of course. Gambit could find his way to Rogue's room blindfolded and with his hands tied behind his back. The kitchen, on the other hand, was a different story entirely.
They were soon lost.
"Merde," Gambit said for the umpteenth time. The room they had just checked was a broom closet- the third one in ten minutes. "Why dey got so many broom closets, anyway? S' not natural."
"It's so the nippers'll have somewhere t' run off to t' make out," Pyro explained, completely serious. "With so many kids here, they gotta have lot's o' closets."
"Well we completely lost. Maybe if Gambit get deir 'ttention," Gambit suggested.
He grabbed a broom and prepared to charge it, but Pyro yanked it away from him.
"Are y' crazy, mate? If you ignite that thing here, around all those cleaning chemicals, you'll blow up the entire house! And us!"
Gambit closed his eyes. //He's right, dammit. When did de boy come to be so insightful?//
"Fine, den how do you suggest we find our way to de kitchen? Gambit getting' hungry."
"Er…" Pyro looked around, searching, but for what Gambit had no idea. After not finding what he was looking for, he shrugged. "Dunno, mate. If we had a window, we could find it from the outside, but-"
"Je l'ai! Gambit know what to do!"
He took out a card and charged it before throwing it into the air. It burst in a small explosion of smoke, and Gambit watched intently before taking off to the left end of the hallway. Pyro trotted after him.
"What'd ya do, mate? How d'ya know ta go this way?"
Gambit stopped. "Gambit show you, p'tite. Watch carefully dis time." He followed suit with another card. "You see which way de smoke goes as it dissolves? Dat means dere's n' open window in de opposite d'rection."
"I get it!" Pyro said happily, and darted off in the direction of the supposed open window. "Hey Rem, I found it!" Without looking, he jumped out of the window.
"Ow!"
"Vatch vhere you're landing, vould you?"
"Oh, I bruised me bum!"
"You're sitting on mein tail!"
"You're crushing my spleen!"
"That's novere near your spleen, sie demmes pyromaniac!"
"What?"
"Vat?"
Strangely, this entire scene took place in the ten seconds it took Gambit to rush to the window and see whom Pyro had landed on. He leaned on the windowsill and peered over it. It was Rogue's brother, the one with the fur- but then, Rogue only had one brother, didn't she? He and Pyro were tangled up on the ground below the window. Kurt was speaking franticly in German while he attempted to disentangle himself from Pyro, who was making the task difficult by the simple fact that he was trying to help.
"Look before you go jumping out of vindows next time!" he said angrily, once they were free.
"Look before you go by a window next time!" Pyro countered.
"Vhy vould I do zat? I don't generally expect leute to come jumping out of vindows!"
"You should! I thought you blokes used windows more than doors around here!"
"For getting inside! Ve don't generally use zem for going out!"
"Well you should!"
"Vhy vould I do zat?"
"Because doors are for th' weak! Windows are the way o' the future!" (5)
Gambit, having had the exact same conversation with Pyro before, albeit without the funny accent, knew that it could go on for quite some time. He decided to get away while he could.
"Excusez-moi, mon ami, but could you tell Gambit where he can find some breakfast? He getting' hungry."
"Of course, right zis vay."
He led them to the kitchen, where they were immediately swamped by students firing off questions at a mile a minute.
"Did you really make it all the way to the end?"
"Are you going to join the X-Men?"
"Is the course really destroyed beyond recognition?"
"How did you do it?"
Gambit bowed out of the crowd. After all, it was Pyro they were interested in. He found that no one was cooking and decided to make breakfast for himself and Pyro- something he was quite used to, as the only Acolyte with cooking skills that didn't stop at the microwave.
He had barely removed the first pancake from the griddle when several noses, namely those of Pyro, Kurt, and a brunette boy Gambit later learned was called 'Iceman.' They all crowded around him.
"That smells really good," the one called Iceman said. "Can you make us some too?"
Gambit looked around at the faces in the steadily growing crowd around him.
"A'right, fine. Bring m' y' plates, an' Gambit'll make you all some."
Gambit swore later on that he made breakfast for every member of the school that morning, though this was of course an exaggeration- Xavier wasn't there and Wolverine didn't eat pancakes.
After everyone had eaten, Gambit decided that it was time to go before he got roped into cooking lunch as well. Rogue walked him to the door, much to his delight.
"Ya coming back ta visit, Cajun?"
"Promise, Chere." He kissed her hand and gazed into her eyes, turning up the charm.
"Why don't you just take Xavier's offer and join? Ya spend more tahme ova here than ova there anyway, what with stalking me an' all."
"Sorry, Chere." He nodded toward Pyro, who was still arguing with Kurt on the merits of windows over doors. "Gambit still needed wid de Acolytes. When he needed no longer, he join up." He kissed her hand again. "And dat's a promise."
"Ah'm gonna hold ya to that promise, Swamp Boy."
"Est exactement ce ce que j'ai voulu entendre, chere." (6) He raised his voice to call Pyro. "C'mon, Pyro, time to go back before de boss send out a search party… or Sabretooth."
(o.o.o)
Okay, so maybe the day wasn't that bad. I got to spend some time with mon cherie, and even though I nearly died, I learned that Pyro can take care of himself when he needs to. I also found out that no matter what she says, Rogue really does have a soft spot for me, and she really does want me to join the X-Men, and that when I finally do, I'll be welcomed for the simple fact that I know how to cook.
I also learned that, despite all my beliefs to the contrary, John really was paying attention during all those staff lessons. Otherwise, he would have died in the first leg of that Obstacle Course of Doom.
One more thing, I learned that Wolverine is a sadistic maniac. I will have to be very careful to never get on his bad side.
Au revoire, mon ami, jusqu'à la prochaine fois, c'est (7)
(o.o.o)
Pyro returned the diary to its hiding place rather shakily.
"I don't believe it," He said. "I'm the only reason he hasn't joined the X-Men? Cause he thinks he needs to look after him? But that's not fair. I never asked him to babysit me. I don't need him to, I can take care of myself, and he even said so!"
He crossed the hall sulkily, depressed at the thought that he was the only thing standing between Gambit and happiness. Distracted, he wandered into Piotr's room by mistake, and was about to turn and go to his own when something on the nightstand caught his eye.
It was Piotr's diary. His face split into a wide grin.
"I'll bet Pitey appreciates me!" He said happily, and settled down to read.
(o.o.o)
Author's Note- There are in fact three versions of this story. They all start off the same way, with Pyro alone and bored so he reads their diaries, but the other two are crap. I made this one up as I typed it, and now I'm glad I did. There's no way my attention span would let me both write and type something this long.
Anywho, on to the explanations of the numbers through out the story.
(1) Disclaimer- lyrics from The White Rabbit song, by Jefferson Airline
(2) This is based on something that actually happened about twelve years ago. We were on our way to church when we happened to notice about twenty or so stray dogs, all headed in the same general direction. They weren't all together either, so it's not like it was a pack or something. We thought it was hilarious, and joked that it was the Doggy Convention. On a side not, we've noted the same occurrence several more times since that happened. Maybe dogs really do have an annual convention, non
(3) These are edited quotes from X-Men the Animated Series, which I prefer to Evo for the simple fact that there is more blatant Romy in it. The conversation at the door and the line about not understanding her also fall into this category.
(4) In the story 'The Private Life of Jamie Madrox,' by PirateKit, Pyro tells Jamie that Gambit can curse in several different languages, although for all that they know, he could be talking about dishware. This story is one of The Bubbles Fanfic Recommendations, and you should read it as soon as you finish this one.
(5) A joke very popular among my friends that was started when I realized that Vegeta generally doesn't use doors in any of my fanfics. Now I've extended this tendency to my X-Men stories.
(6) Est exactement ce ce que j'ai voulu entendr, translation- That's exactly what I wanted to hear.
(7) Au revoire, mon ami, jusqu'à la prochaine fois, c'est, translation- Goodbye, my friend, until next time, that is.
Oh, by the way, the next chapter will have some Romy in it too. Gambit's insatiable desire for Rogue has become as natural to the Acolytes as Sabretooth's tantrums and Magneto's tendency to fly more than he walks, even when he's just going into the next room.
Feedback is as always greatly appreciated, whether you're simply saying you liked or didn't like the story or if you're telling me what to keep and what to improve. Even though I reserve the right to keep things even if they are annoying, I do tend to listen well to constructive criticism. My dream is to be a successful writer, and that will never happen if I don't improve.