What happens when you can't stop thinking about the last episode and should be studying for your mechanical design midterm and thermodynamics test... Basically an idea of what I'd love to see, especially because I don't want things just to be swept under the rug between the two of them. I'd love to know what you think and what you'd like to see happen!
"...because I'm pregnant."
Toby stared at Happy in shock as his brain registered what she had just said. She said she was pregnant. His eyes grew wider, his mouth forming an 'O'. She. Was. Pregnant. He was going to be a father. He didn't say anything, he couldn't - so he just continued to stare at her as unshed tears filled her eyes and a small, nervous smile stayed plastered on her face. His eyes flickered between her stomach and her face, for once in his life, his mind blank on what to do.
Shifting on her feet, she clasped her hands in front of her stomach, a subconscious move on her part, hiding the area he couldn't seem to keep his eyes away from, hoping to get him to focus on her instead, to tell her what was going through his mind so they could figure out what to do next. She could feel the eyes of every person of the team on her and Toby, but she was focused solely on him; he was the only one she cared about, his reaction the only one that mattered. His eyes continued to bore into her, making her desperate to look away, to slink back to her workshop and forget everything that was going on in her life. But she'd done enough hiding and running scared, enough not telling Toby everything he wanted to know, she wasn't going to do that to him any more. So she'd wait, wait for him to make the first move, wait for him to tell her what he was thinking.
She didn't know how long it had been since she admitted to being pregnant, the silence stretching on for what could've been hours. Licking her lips nervously, she took a step forward, unable to take the wait any longer.
"Doc," she whispered, taking another step towards him.
Her soft voice pulled him from his shock. Shaking his head, he blinked slowly and looked around. Happy staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to give her something, anything. Cabe with a proud smile on his face, Paige looking excited. Sly was nervous and Walter was confused. Turning back to Happy once more, he opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out. He didn't know where to begin.
Needing to erase the distance between them, she took another small step towards him and whispered his name again.
Shaking his head again, he took a step back, tripping over his own shoes. "I, uh, I have to go," he mumbled out, confusion in his voice.
In a daze, he stumbled over to his desk, grabbing his bag and keys before rushing out of the garage without a backwards look.
Knock, knock, knock.
Toby sighed and slowly stood from the couch, taking another sip from him beer. He already knew who it was, without even checking. It was Happy. After what she had sprung on him, he was surprised she had waited this long before coming to see him. Just as the knocking began again, he pulled open the door, his heart feeling like it was going to pound out of his chest when he saw her; she looked vulnerable and scared and beautiful, god was she beautiful, even more so than normal. Could be the pregnancy glow, he thought briefly.
"Hi," she whispered nervously, "Can I, uh, come in?"
He nodded once, pulling the door open wider and gestured her in with one arm. He took a long pull from his bottle, hoping it would calm his nerves enough to be able to talk with Happy.
She stopped in the middle of his living room and looked around uncomfortably, hating not knowing what to do or how to act. On the coffee table she saw her auto magazines, her running shoes thrown in the corner, an extra jacket hanging near the front door. Her life was so intertwined with his, which was obvious by looking around. Yet everything felt new, like she was looking around his apartment for the first time.
"I, uh," she cleared her throat and gave him a tight lipped smile, "I thought you probably needed some time alone, to, uh, to process everything."
He barked out a sharp laugh, taking another long pull, before saying, "You could say that. Hell of a surprise you threw on me tonight."
He fell back on to the couch, closing his eyes for a second and ran his hand over his face. When he opened them back up, he saw Happy still standing there looking around the room, trying to figure out what to do next.
"For goodness sakes, Hap," he sighed, one corner of his mouth turning up, "You don't have to look so uncomfortable. You were just here this morning doing things that shouldn't be talked about outside this apartment. Take a seat."
She smiled nervously and pulled off her jacket, throwing it across the arm of a chair and walked slowly over to the couch, choosing to sit as close to Toby as possible. She didn't know what was going to happen in the next five minutes, but she did know that she wasn't going to be able to get through it if there was distance between them. Reaching out, she grabbed one of his hands, needing to be connected to him, needing his sturdiness to help ground her.
"Listen, Doc-" she began, just as he he asked, "Why?"
She furrowed her brow and cocked her head. "Why? Why am I pregnant? I think you should know that, you were an active participant."
He couldn't help but let out a laugh, some of the tension in the room dissipating with her comment. "No, I want to talk about the fact that you're married to Walter first."
"Oh," she said quietly, looking down at her other hand playing with the edge of her shirt.
"Why didn't you tell me? Did you not trust me?"
She looked up and shook her head, "No, it's not that. Honestly, it's stupid now that I think about it. I guess we got so good at hiding it, so no one at INS would find out and I wouldn't get arrested and Walter wouldn't be sent back to Ireland, that it just got buried, until it was too late. The team wasn't as," she paused, "close back then, as we are now. It didn't affect anyone else at the time, so why say anything?" she finished with a shrug.
"Hmm," Toby said thoughtfully, tapping his fingers against the glass bottle.
She began tracing the veins on the back of his hand holding hers, "I am sorry. If I could do it over again, I would've told you. I don't know why I thought I had to keep it quiet, even after you found out I was married."
He gave her a half smile, "You're Happy Quinn - an independent, strong, stubborn woman who thinks she can figure everything out on her own. You wanted to fix this yourself. It was your way of protecting me, I guess. I get that. Doesn't mean I like it, but I get it. The most logical way to solve the problem was to fix it yourself."
"I never wanted to hurt you, Toby," she whispered, her face growing soft and sorry as she met his expressive eyes. She could get lost in his eyes and she often did. But the pain and betrayal she saw in them, cut her to the core. She hated that she was the cause of it and would do anything to bring back the light, loving look her always used to have when he looked at her.
He set his bottle down and shifted to face her better. Reaching out, he ran his fingers along her hairline, pushing a few curls out of her face. "I know that. But what's done is done. You can't take that back now."
Happy felt her heart stop, her breath catch in her throat - what was he saying?
"So?" she croaked out, afraid to hear what he had to say next.
"So, from here on out, talk to me. Let me help you. Let me be there for you, like I want to be. We're stronger and better together, you should know that by now."
"Oh thank god," she breathed out, falling into his chest. Burying her face in his shirt, she took a deep breath, taking in the scent that was all Toby. It was comforting. It was home.
He chuckled lightly, running his hand down her back, "What's going on, Hap?"
Shifting her head, she kept it on his chest, but looked up at him, "It's nothing. I just thought- nope, I was relieved to hear you say that."
A look of understanding crossed his face, "You were scared of what I'd do when I found out it was Walter."
She sat up and nodded, "That's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want to lose you."
He leaned in to kiss her gently, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not going anywhere, Hap."
"I'm starting to believe that," she admitted.
He knew how hard it was for her to say that, after everything she had been through in her life, after everything that had been taken away from her. She didn't trust easily, so for Toby to hear that, his heart warmed. "I'll keep saying it until you do believe it. And even again after."
He kissed her one more time, then sat back again, taking a deep breath. All of a sudden, the tension that had left the room, was back, as she waited for his next question. He was quiet for a minute, focusing on the ends of Happy's hair he was twirling between his fingers. Biting the inside of his cheek, he weighed his next words carefully.
"So," he began slowly, "you're pregnant."
At hearing him say that, she couldn't help but stiffen. It was still such a foreign concept and one she never thought would be associated with her. It scared her to even think about.
She looked up at him, his face indecipherable, and nodded slowly.
"When did you find out?" he questioned, his voice void of emotion. Happy always called it his doctor voice. He used it when he wanted answers.
"Just a few days ago, but with everything going on I wanted to be sure before I told you. The doctor just confirmed it today."
He nodded, "How far along?"
"Eight weeks," she said in a small voice, her nerves building up inside her. Toby still hadn't given her any clue, one way or another, about how he felt about the baby.
"About a month before I was taken then," he mused, staring at a spot on the wall over Happy's shoulder, avoiding her eyes. He seemed to be in his own world, thinking hard in his own mind.
Happy closed her eyes as pain rushed through her again. That was one of the worst moments in her life, thinking she might lose him for good. She gave a shuddering breath and nodded again.
He blinked and looked back at her, his eyes flickering down to her stomach, before saying in a harsh voice, "Were you going to tell me or keep this a secret too?"
She flinched when he said that, "That's not fair, Doc."
He sighed and pulled at his hair, "I know, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about earlier, when everything came out." A smile similar to a grimace crossed his face, "Not the ideal way to find out, you know? I still can't really believe that happened."
"I panicked," she admitted. Meeting his eyes, her face transformed in to one of determination, "I was going to tell you, in private, tonight." Her eyes lit up and grew wide before she reached over to her jacket and pulled something out, holding it up to show him, "I even got you this stupid card to ease us both in to it. Well I didn't, the nurse gave it to me to give to you."
Toby's mouth quirked up as he took the card from her, holding back his laugh at the DILF line inside. He set it down and reached out to lay his hands over hers twisting together nervously, "Take a deep breath, sweetheart."
She did just that and continued trying to explain what had happened, which was difficult with her inability to express everything she was feeling and thinking, "But when you found out about Walter, I came over to keep things calm and then one thing led to another. And before I knew it, Walter was asking why I needed the divorce." She gave him a small smile, "You know, Walt, he would've never let it go until I told him why. I didn't want him finding out before you and I didn't know what else to do. Before I could really think it through, I had already said it out loud."
"And you need the divorce," Toby whispered to himself.
"So I can marry you because I'm pregnant," Happy finished, a small, hopeful smile on her face.
"Is that what you want?" he asked, what could only be described as pain on his face.
Her smile grew, as she nodded, "Yeah, it is." She laid one hand over her stomach, where her and Toby's future was growing, "I want to give him or her everything. I didn't- neither of us had the ideal family life. I want to make sure he or she does, with two parents who love them. A family. A legitimate home."
"And you want this all for the baby?" Toby questioned.
"Of course, but that's not all. I want this for us too."
He lifted one eyebrow in question.
"This is our chance to be a family too, to have what both of us have always wanted." She looked down and wiped away a tear that slipped from her eye, "I hated having to say no to you, Doc. I wanted to," she looked up at him desperately, "I wanted to say yes more than anything. But I couldn't. And that wrecked me, because I love you, Toby. I want to spend my life with you."
"You do?" he asked with a smile of disbelief.
Happy smiled and reached out to cup his face, "Yes. Baby or no baby, I want to be with you." Her thumb caressed his cheek, distracting her while she figured out what to say next, "Doc, this baby is just another confirmation to me that I'm supposed to be with you forever. This baby is giving us a second chance, to put behind us everything that has gone wrong." She swallowed hard, "If you want to, that is."
Toby leaned in suddenly and kissed her deeply, desperately, drawing a moan from the back of her throat. "That's all I ever wanted, baby," he whispered after he pulled back, leaning his forehead against her. "It's not going to be easy and there's still a lot I need to know, but I want to get there too. I want to have a family with you and maybe one day, in the future, we'll be able to laugh about this whole thing."
"I'm holding you to that," she said with a shy smile, "But you're sure? You want this?"
A grin covered his face, "More than anything. A baby? With you? It's more than I could ever dream of." He bent down and lifted her shirt. Running his fingers across her still flat stomach, he placed a soft kiss on her stomach, "I love you, little peanut. I can't wait to meet you. I'm going to protect you and you momma and make sure you grow big and strong. You and your mother are the best things that have ever happened to me."
At that, Happy couldn't hold back her tears. Seeing Toby so sweet and loving towards the baby, their baby - it was more than she could handle and the tears came rushing out.
"Hey, hey, hey," he said sitting up concernedly, cupping her face in his hands, "What's wrong? What did I do?"
She shook her head and hiccuped, trying to get herself under control, "Nothing. You did nothing wrong. You're doing everything right." She brushed her lips against his gently, "When you walked out of the garage tonight, I never thought this," she gestured between them, "you talking to the baby, us agreeing to work through everything, would happen. But it is and it's better than I imagined."
"I'm sorry about that, Hap," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her forehead, "I was overwhelmed. I mean I had just learned you're married to our boss and then the baby? I needed time to process everything."
"I get it. Trust me, I get it." She laid her head on his shoulder and threw her legs over his, "Although on my way over here, I had to talk myself out of killing you."
Toby laughed and pulled her closer, "I wouldn't blame you if you did."
They were quiet for a few minutes, both reveling in the moment of peace between them. A moment they had been hard pressed to find lately, but were working towards getting back again. And tonight was a step in the right direction. Eventually, though, Happy broke the silence, wanting to be more open with him - knowing that was the only way they could keep moving forward.
"I was so scared after you left, Doc," she admitted, nuzzling her head into his neck, "I thought that maybe you didn't want me or the baby. I just kept going over in my head what I would do if that was the case."
"That couldn't be further from the truth, Hap. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed and will not stop working until everything gets figured out between you and Walter, but that's not going to stop me from wanting you and a family with you. I'm excited for this...and terrified," he chuckled, "and anxious. And god, I love you more than anything. That alone tells me we're going to be alright."
"I love you too," she said, pulling his head down for a sweet, loving kiss. When they pulled apart, Happy settled back into him, her fingers tracing patterns on his shirt. Clearing her throat, she asked, "Uh, Doc? Is there - is there anything more you want to know tonight? About anything? The wedding? INS? Anything at all?"
Toby hummed and kissed the top of her head, letting his fingers follow a path back and forth across her stomach, "Not tonight, sugar. I don't think I could handle any more, but tomorrow when we start working on getting you divorced, I'll want to know then. But tonight? Tonight, I just want to be with you, celebrating our bun in the oven."
She nodded and pressed herself closer, more than happy to spend the night in their own happy bubble, even if only for a few hours. But after a few minutes, Toby started laughing uncontrollably, pulling Happy from her thoughts. She pushed herself up and stared at him questioningly.
"What's going on, Doc?"
"I was just thinking how fucked up our situation is," he managed to get out between laughs.
"Excuse me?" she asked, taken aback.
He smoothed her hair down and leaned in to give her a laughing kiss, "You're married to our boss, my best friend and the love of my life are married, while you're pregnant with my child. This whole thing is just messed up. It's just too much."
Happy joined in with his laughter, seeing how it could be funny.
Toby leaned down to talk to the baby again, brushing his lips against her skin, "Hopefully when you get here, everything will be figured out. But no matter what, know your mommy and daddy love you and love each other. We'll all be a family someday."
Happy tilted his head up and kissed him, whispering against his lips, "We already are."