A/N Alright, sorry I haven't written in a loooooong time! I became obsessed with my phone and becaused since it has internet I don't have to come out of my room… but Aryana, this is your birthday present! A Twilight parody! Okay, so can I hear a happy birthday? This won't be very long and it'll be completed quickly….

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, I would be writing the next book, not posting on Fanfiction.

Alright, without further ado, I introduce…

Bored to Death!

Bella smiled and walked through the door. "OH, ROSALIE!"

Her air-headed blonde best friend walked in. "Oh!" She tripped. "Oh, my horses! I have tripped over ANOTHER ant." She tsk-tsked. She got up and smiled at Bella. "Can Emmett come?"

"Okay!" Bella said. Rosalie and Bella skipped along, fell, got back up, and kept walking. They stepped through the door and into Rosalie and Emmett's room.

"Oh, man!" Rosalie sighed. There, in the middle of the room, was a giant brown teddy bear. "Emmett you have to control yourself!" She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and turned. It was a little too quick for poor Rosalie and she fell down again. "God, that makes it 50 times today. It's only 1,050 Bella!"

Just then, Alice flew into the room. "No, dears! It's 10:50!" Alice had a retarded look on her face and big pink wings fanning out behind her.

"Shut up, Alex." Bella mumbled.

Alice smiled. "Dohkay, dears!" She flew down the hall.

Just then, Bella and Rosalie saw something wierd. Jasper was running down the hall, naked. He was screaming the lyrics to 'Firework' by Katy Perry. Rosalie glanced at Bella. In an instant, they were ripping off their clothes and rushing to join Jasper.

"CUZ BABY YOU'RE A FIRRRREWOORRRK! COME ON ;ET YOUR COLORS BURST!" Soon, their song was drowned out by metal music and screams. The angry, naked trio stomped into Edward's room.

"What the heccckkk Edward!" Bella screamed.

Edward was lying on his bed, his eyeliner and mascara streaming from his eyes. He had a knife to his wrists and there was blood all over the place. "YOUR FRIGGIN EMO-NESS IS RUINING MY LIFE." Jasper shouted. He grabbed Edward's knife and in sloppy letters, carved 'FEAR THE FIREWORK' into the wall.

"My wall!" Edward screamed. He started crying and pulled out a spare knife to slit his wrists more.

Now Rosalie grabbed the knife. "BOO FRIGGIN' WHO, EDWARD!" She threw the knife into the wall.

Edward looked at his walls. He shrugged and shook off his derpy sad face. "Oh, what the heck!" He stripped off his clothes and joined the trio. Edward started this time. "CUZ BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!"

"COME ON LET YOUR COLORS BURST!" Everyone else joined him. Then it began again, the group ran down halls.

Just then, Jacob popped around the corner with a red leash in his mouth. The group stopped and blinked at him. Then, Jacob smiled in a derpy way and turned into a wolf. He kept the lesh in his mouth and they kept running, while Jacob was howling along to the song. Turns out at the end of his leash was Emmett in teddy bear form. The teddy bear Emmett was crying.

"OWW! IT HURTS!" The teddy bear cried.

Jasper jumped up and down as he ran. He hit his head on the ceiling a couple times. Just then, Alice floated near them. "Hellllloooooo, dears!" Alice smiled.

"Shut up, Alex." Bella said. Then, an evil grinch grin spread across her face. "OR YOU CAN JOIN US!"

"WOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WATCH OUT WORLD, HERE COMES ALICE CULLEN!" Alice stripped off her clothes (all but her fairy wand, of course!) and joined the group.

All too soon, the song came to a stop. Jasper looked down sadly. "What do we do now?"

Alice smiled. "IT'S BRITTANY, BETCH!" She yelled. The group continued running down the hall, now singing Brittany Spears songs. They made their way out to the street.

They ran and ran, all the way into town. Now everyone was joining them, drunk or not. In the front of the mob (because streaking people are NOT considered a crowd!) was Bella's best friends and the the wolf pack. But leading the mob was, of course, Bella, Rosalie, Jasper, Jacob, Emmett, Alice, and Edward.

~Meanwhile~

Esme had a collection of ripped clothes. "Carlisle, do you know where the children are?"

"No, why?"

"Because they don't have their clothes." Esme gestured to her pile.

"Oh, god." Carlisle rubbed his temples. "CHECK THE BOOZE!"

Carlisle and Esme rushed over to their Alcohol fridge. All the drinks had been drank. Carlisle looked sad. "Hey, I know where they could be!" Esme grabbed Carlisle's hand and they rushed outside.

It was quite easy to find the mob. You just look for the discarded clothes. When Carlisle and Esme got there, the mob was singing Ke$ha songs. Charlie Swan was running around the mob, screaming 'WOO!' Carlisle looked at the group that had started the mob.

"You need to go home NOW!" Carlisle boomed.

Bella smiled. "No."

Carlisle stood close to Esme. "Our kids are crazy!" Esme whispered in Carlisle's ear.

"Hold up." Carlisle whispered back. "NOW!" He shouted.

Bella and the rest of the group shook their heads. "No. We don't think we will." Jasper said.

Carlisle shrugged. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" He said to Esme. Then the couple ripped off their clothes and rushed to go join the group.

"BABY, BABY, BABY. OHHHHH! IT'S LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY, NOOOOO! IT'S LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY. OHHHH! I THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MINE, MINE!"

Edward stopped. "IF YOU DON'T CHANGE THE SONG I'M GOING TO KILL 1,000,000 BABIES!"

Everyone gulped. They kept running. "U-G-L-Y! YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI! YOU UGLY!" They sang.

A/N- Oh, my god! That was so much fun to write :3 The only thing I own is the plot line… hehe I will write a chapter 2! Just wait it'll be up by next week… I know, it was super short!

Okay, now in the reviews can I hear a Happy Birthday shoutout to fiction-rules-reality? First person to say it gets an OC and a pairing of their choice (this is optional) in my Twilight Holiday story!

Okay, and DERP FACES are mentioned repeatedly in this story! Examples are on my page!

Thanks for reading!