~ Comatose ~
Summary: Wallowing in his memories of Sirius, Harry chose to ignore his friends, his mentors, and his enemies, until said enemy takes matters into his own hands.
Pairing: Voldemort/Harry Potter
Warnings: Slash, Fluff, Kidnapping, Mind Games
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters within this story. This piece was written for the Fandom for Leukaemia and Lymphoma Society a few years ago.
Part One
Disorientation greeted Harry as he opened his eyes; a crisp white ceiling swam into view. He frowned. The ceiling of the smallest room at number four Privet Drive did not look white. It was more of an off-white which really was due to the mould his Aunt refused to allow him to clean rather than the colour itself. Sitting up, Harry affirmed he was not within his room at the Dursley house.
The room he currently sat in held warmth which echoed from the bed in which he lay to the sofa setting surrounding a fireplace. Wooden panelling lined the room, a brown with hints of red throughout, creating an inviting atmosphere where one could relax in peace. Tasteful furniture decorated the area; the pieces not too flamboyant or expensive and exactly to his preference. Harry could easily see himself spending all of his time in an area such as this. Yet one thing kept on his mind as confusion swept through him.
How did he come to be here?
Harry remembered Privet Drive. He was certain he'd been sitting at his pitiful desk attempting to sharpen his quills and work on his Transfiguration assignment. Laughter of his relatives had echoed up at him mocking him with their joy. After everything he'd been through, happiness seemed to be so far away.
Yet it was his choice not to think of Sirius. It was his choice to ignore the lack of letters once again from his friends. He was the one who was wallowing in his misery.
Then all of a sudden silence. The crackling of the TV could be heard and yet the laughter had simply cut off. Harry hadn't cared at the time too busy attempting to think of anything else and yet the next thing he remembered was waking up in this room.
The fireplace sparked as Harry swung his legs over the edge and laid them on the wooden floor, darker than the walls yet still red tinged. In spite of his confusion, for the first time that summer, Harry felt calm. Logically, he knew the past few weeks had been a terrible experience. But in his mind it all seemed in the past. The thought of Sirius no longer pained him nor did the fact his friends weren't writing. Everything just seemed so superfluous. His thoughts and emotions were calm which brought a pleased smile to Harry's face.
Then the atmosphere shifted and the smile fell away.
Harry's eyes widened as another person appeared in the room. Immediately he scrambled back onto the bed as far from the sofa setting beside the fireplace as possible. He could feel the blood thrum through his veins pumping adrenaline into his bloodstream and preparing for a fight. Yet the other simply remained seated where they had arrived, calmly watching Harry's reaction with slight amusement.
"What have you done to me?" Harry accused.
Harry felt ridiculous, watching as Voldemort merely smirked. Accusing the Dark Lord in such a manner sounded quite tame compared to what he was usually capable of doing to an enemy. He might not have held any recollection of how he'd managed to get to his current location however if the Dark Lord was present then there was little doubt that he was involved.
Through the silence between the pair the unanswered questioned hung heavy in the air. Harry felt the tension within his muscles as he waited for Voldemort to make a move; to do something other than sit and stare at him in fascination. It never occurred. Whatever the Dark Lord had planned for him wouldn't be happening during this particular meeting. Picking up his courage, Harry repeated the question.
"I had my followers bring you to me."
The reply did little to answer Harry's question. Green eyes narrowed. Voldemort's smirk widened as he explained further.
"My followers found it simple to enter your Aunt's house undetected. The Order, after all, is quite busy with fawning over your little sidekicks who aided you in the Ministry at this stage. They weren't even watching the house as my followers slipped inside. From there it was an easy task of dealing with your relatives and reaching you."
At the mention of his relatives Harry froze. He'd not really given them any thought. Death Eaters would never have left three muggles alive when kidnaping him. His last remaining relatives were dead. More than likely, they would have been tortured quite vigorously especially if they'd had all the time they'd liked. Despite this however, Harry didn't feel anything towards them. He felt neither sorrow at their death nor joy at never having return to the house again. He accepted they were gone and that was it. If anything, he held more desire to know how he had come to be in this room something Voldemort had yet to speak on.
"I remember hearing their laughter silenced beyond that everything is blank. What did your followers do between silencing my relatives and me waking here?"
The rephrasing certainly appeared more specific than Harry's first question. By no means was it Slytherin in nature. Voldemort would have been surprised if it had been. However it showed how hard Harry was attempting to understand his situation. Most Gryffindors attacked first. Harry on the other hand appeared to be showing some restraint. He understood this meeting wouldn't be going his way.
"Before my Death Eaters began to play with your relatives, Severus made his way to your room and stupefied you before forcing a potion down your throat which aided in bringing you here."
Harry felt this explanation was missing quite an amount of detail. Yet at the same time he recognized the truth to the Dark Lord's words, as strange as that seemed. Either way, he wasn't about to get any more out of the man by hounding him over the same topic. Another topic on the other hand…
Green eyes narrowed in thought. The longer the pair remained seated calmly in one room, the more Harry believed his life wasn't in danger. Voldemort had been trying for a long time to kill him though for what reason Harry held no idea. He'd survived these attacks mostly through luck and the support of the people around him. Luck and friendship had long since abandoned him and yet he remained unharmed in the man's company. Even as confident as he was, Harry wasn't going to tempt fate and move closer to the Dark Lord. Yet it brought forth another question which had been dwelling in his mind.
"Why am I not dead?" Harry questioned.
Leaning back against the headboard, Harry had expected the reply to take some time. Yet the snake lord spoke confidently in his response, not needing time to think things through.
"Your death no longer suits my purpose."
A frown creased Harry's brow, eyes shifting to face the wall. That was unexpected. With the way Dumbledore carried on constantly (if not a little dramatically), he'd always assumed when Voldemort had control he would be dead or tortured relentlessly until the Dark Lord had enough. Then he'd be handed off to one of his lucky Inner Circle Death Eaters for fun. His death would not come swiftly or painlessly. To be suddenly told all of these beliefs were for nought left Harry wandering once again what had changed to alter the Dark Lord's perspective. Why did his life mean so much?
"Am I going to be told what purpose I now serve?"
Voldemort looked at him, a thoughtful expression crossing snake-like features. Harry tried to remain calm but nerves made him fidget in his place. The Dark Lord might not desire his death any longer but he hadn't mentioned whether or not he would be kept from the other tortures that could await him should Harry anger the man.
After a moment of silence the Dark Lord replied.
"Perhaps I will inform you of your purpose when I believe you are ready to hear it."
Harry deflated.
"What about until then?"
A single gesture sealed Harry's fears.
"This will be your new home." Voldemort confirmed aloud.
Looking around, Harry couldn't help but cringe. Though the room was warm and comforting, he didn't want to spend the remainder of his time in this environment. There weren't any windows to look out into the world beyond this room. There were simply four grand walls and a ceiling that never seemed to end. He needed to see people or any life forms really just to keep him sane. He needed someone other than himself to keep his mind in check.
Harry opened his mouth to argue, turning back to the fireplace, yet the space was empty. The Dark Lord had vanished. He slumped against the bedhead with a sigh.
"Great."
x-x-x-x-x
Albus Dumbledore watched as the last ambulance pulled away from Privet Drive. He'd watched too late to intervene as the muggles entered the house and began the process of documenting the clash between assailant and victim. Standing and watching as more muggles appeared had been quite the ordeal for the elderly man. He hadn't been able to do anything to get a closer inspection of the area to tell whether or not wizards were behind the attack. Too many muggles required heavy magic which would be detected by the Ministry if done illegally. So instead he had to settle for a listening charm and hope all the information he required would be mentioned.
"-doesn't make any sense!" a medic insisted.
The policeman made a gesture to continue.
"It looks like all of them were torn apart by wolves. I won't know more til I get the bodies back to the lab but-"
"You aren't saying an animal did that are you." An incredulous tone coloured his voice.
The medic looked abashed.
"No! Well, I won't be certain until I get them back to the lab but it looks like it."
Both looked towards the house.
"What could the poor sods have done to welcome such an attack? Could the animals have been instructed by someone?"
The policeman snorted.
"Do you honestly believe such an attack could have been anything other than instructed? Vernon Dursley enjoyed his mid-income desk job so much he'd started blackmailing several other employees and steadily got promoted. Petunia Dursley stayed at home and took care of the house and the task of gossiping about all the horrid tales along the street. Then there was Dudley Dursley, a right delinquent that one, a street thug who terrorised the younger kids. No someone had revenge in mind with this attack."
The medic turned towards the officer.
"Then why do you look concerned?"
Pausing, the policeman made sure they were far away from the media before continuing.
"There is evidence of another person, probably a male teen around the same age as the son, living in the house."
Confused, the medic questioned further.
"Why is that any concern apart from the fact he isn't present?"
"Evidence of abuse litters the house; probably started from a young age."
Both fell silent.
Albus nearly growled. He didn't have time to stand and wait for them to stabilize themselves emotionally. He needed to know other details. Simply knowing they were killed by the Death Eaters wasn't enough. He needed to know whether or not Harry left the premises willingly or not.
"Do you think the kid could have…?"
The medic trailed off, uncertain as to how to finish the sentence delicately.
"I doubt it. From what the neighbours tell us, the kid was stick thin like the wife. He couldn't take on the other males within the house. Either he ran when he had the chance or whoever killed the other three now has him as well."
Albus cancelled the charm.
"What do you think happened here Albus?" Arabella questioned.
Albus had heard her approach. Yet he wasn't all too fond of revealing information to this woman. She'd lived merely a street over and not once had she heard a noise during the night. Looking after Harry had been her duty for many years and yet on this night she had failed.
"I think the Death Eaters reached Harry first."
The short answer kept Arabella quiet whilst Albus thought. In the end however he knew there was only one thing he could do in this situation. With a wave of his wand a ghostly white phoenix burst out of the end and hovered in air, waiting for a message to be relayed.
"An Order meeting will be held in the usual place in two days' time. All members are to attend."
Albus turned from the house. He needed to think.
x-x-x-x-x
Harry had been lounging on a sofa when Voldemort appeared next. Being trapped in this room didn't really help with creative endeavours. He had nothing to do at all and the room didn't even do day and night. All that was left was the eerie glow of the fireplace which was the only comfort Harry was given. So when the Dark Lord finally reappeared Harry didn't scramble away. Instead he shot Voldemort a rather calculating glance before returning to stare into the warm glow of the flames knowing he would once again not be harmed.
This act baffled the Dark Lord. He'd expected some resistance from Harry to the idea of spending his life trapped within this room. Yet he'd barely been offered a glance. Harry appeared more interested in the idea of the fire than in the Dark Lord himself and that felt a little insulting. From anyone else he would never have accepted it. This however was different.
"You left in a hurry last time." Harry offered.
Harry had noticed Voldemort had appeared quite affronted at the ignoring. As tempted as he was to see whether or not the Dark Lord would attack him, he would rather have a calm Dark Lord who might answer a few of his questions once again.
"As a Dark Lord I have other duties to attend to. I can't spend all my time around a sulking teen."
Harry snorted. He'd been anything but the epitome of a sulking teen within this room. He just felt calm, almost empty of emotion. It was slightly disconcerting as people were meant to feel emotion. Emotions helped to sort through the day to day experiences one often ventured upon. Yet he felt next to nothing except for when the Dark Lord was around.
"As it is I'm currently waiting for the Order's next move."
Silence filled the room. Harry couldn't believe the Order still hadn't done anything. If his sense of time was correct then he'd been here for at least a few days. For them to not have done anything to aid Harry spoke a lot of where they believed his life to be held within Order priorities.
"Where exactly am I?" Harry questioned, choosing to ignore the last statement.
The location was the cause of Harry's emotional change. He could easily recognize that. As such he desperately desired to know where he was. Perhaps then he could work around finding his emotions. Voldemort's answer however didn't offer him any insight.
"You are where you are."
Scoffing, Harry sat forward, having prepared this argument whilst trapped here.
"This isn't really a room and that isn't much of an answer so why don't you simply answer my question with a straightforward answer."
The Dark Lord raised an eyebrow in question. Harry snarled angrily.
"This room is entirely unnatural. Nothing here makes sense so I'm not even going to go into that. However I shouldn't feel like I have no emotions. I care about nothing here, I feel nothing, except for when you appear and I know that isn't natural. So where am I?"
Voldemort sat back pleased that Harry was at least questioning what was occurring here. The first time he'd occluded, Voldemort had known the feeling. All emotion was moot within the mind. The mind didn't care for emotions it organized them along with memories to make sense of a situations. Harry however had yet to learn how so he would need to someone to teach him.
"Your emotionless state won't last forever." Voldemort began. "Within your mind you need to arrange your memories past and present and this is the only location you can do that from. Once you've managed that everything will become much easier to understand."
Harry stared at the Dark Lord in disbelief.
"Are you suggesting I'm already in my mind?"
Voldemort gave a short nod of his head.
"This is your mind."
Harry tilted his head, taking in the room with a new light. The thought of being inside his head made the heavily red and gold room make sense. He'd always felt safest curled up in the Gryffindor Common Room alone during the Christmas Holidays. No one could harm him when he was alone. Eyes narrowed he turned back towards the Dark Lord.
"What the bloody hell did Snape feed me?" Harry enquired incredulously.
"The concoction was of my design though Severus quite readily brewed it. You are essentially in a forced meditation. Your mind is trapped in a state of alertness whilst your body rests."
Harry sat back.
"I'm finally occluding… in some form."
Voldemort gave a tilt of his head in agreement.
"If this is my mind, why are you here?" Harry grumbled.
"We have a connection which I am utilizing to gain access for brief periods of time."
Harry felt oddly violated by this. Dumbledore had constantly told him that there was a connection between the two of them. At the time however the old man had made it sound like the connection was nothing more than transference of abilities, of power. Yet the Dark Lord said it with a careful tone like this sole connection was the only thing keeping Harry alive in his eyes.
Oddly enough, Harry was rather thankful for the abilities and the power. They had kept him relatively sane what with the ability to speak with snakes. He'd been able to speak to the occasional snake when they'd come close enough to his window in the garden below. This connection however had also given him more than enough headaches over the past few weeks since the Dark Lord's resurrection.
"You're in my mind." Harry settled with saying.
"Essentially, yes, I am within your mind."
"You can't access any of my memories can you?"
The Dark Lord chuckled.
"Not without causing you significant pain."
"Well I feel better about this entire situation." Harry replied drearily.
After a moment of silence, Harry spoke once again.
"How do I even start sifting through my memories to regain my emotions?"
This entire situation was merely becoming bizarre. Voldemort no longer wanted him dead; this he had come to readily accept. Now the Dark Lord was practically offering him information on how to keep his mind intact; now he would retain his emotions within his mind. He would feel human.
Voldemort motioned for him to move closer. Harry did so willingly.
"Accessing the memories is fairly simple. The process of going through each of them however is quite a different matter entirely. It won't be a swift process and you will come across several memories which you will be loath to remember. However that is merely the price an Occlumens must pay for peace of mind."
Harry cringed at that. He would have to go through all of his memories of Sirius, his friends, and then the few memories he had of his parents. Those would be bittersweet. But Harry was nothing if not determined.
"Take me through the process of accessing the memories."
Voldemort instructed Harry to close his eyes.
"You will need to relax as much as possible. Some of the memories will be rather painful, the more relaxed you are the better you will feel coming out of the trance."
"So this is almost like meditation." Harry stated.
"It has similar characteristics. This however is far more difficult."
He felt all of his muscles ease into a relaxed pose, the presence of the Dark Lord and the fireplace the only two cares Harry considered outside of his own being. Like this, he felt calm and accepting of anything yet there was a knot of string sitting within him tickling at his senses. The large ball seemed to be made of numerous threads all different shades of colour.
"There's a knot." Harry frowned in wonderment.
"It is meant to be there." Voldemort confirmed. "These are your memories. They haven't been viewed here before so you need to witness them again and they will eventually fold back into the recess of your mind."
Harry tiled his head attempting to find it.
"Where would that be?" he eventually questioned.
Voldemort took a moment to consider the room before turning back to Harry.
"Most people place them in a trunk in their mind. You could even meld them into the wood panelling around the room so no one could ever view them."
Harry would never grant people easy access to his mind. Placing his memories within the wooden panelling would definitely keep them safe from prying eyes.
"The most memorable of your memories could be itemized and placed within your mind's room. In this way you could view them at your leisure." Voldemort suggested.
Harry's eyes snapped open.
"Could they be used like wizarding photography?"
Before the Dark Lord had even replied a positive Harry's mind was already spinning with ideas. His mind would have numerous memories in which he would love to surround himself with. Moments with his parents and Sirius would be the first to be placed on the walls surrounding his mind.
"How often do I need to do this?" Harry finally questioned realizing the Dark Lord's time was coming to an end within his mind this visit.
"Every week or so you will need to return here and accept all you have witnessed within the week otherwise you will once again have the knot within your mind. It will grow the more you leave it."
Harry nodded, relaxing into a meditative state. Just before the process began he heard the Dark Lord speak one final time.
"Perhaps next time I visit, your mind will at least have more décor."
x-x-x-x-x
The Dining Room at Grimmauld Place was packed. Dumbledore's emergency meeting had been responded to and all were present except the man who had called them forth. The entire group were speaking amongst each other save for Remus.
Losing Sirius hadn't been easy. Then of course there was the simple fact he wasn't permitted to see Harry who, Remus knew, would also be suffering the loss. Everyone else appeared to have easily moved on from the loss of their fellow Order member. No one had even thought to pay respect to the man who opened his family house to grant them a Headquarters. They simply spoke over each other as if Sirius Black had never been one of them.
Remus felt his wolf rise to the surface, eyes flashing golden in annoyance and frustration, as Molly walked past boasting about cleaning another section of the house. She'd started acting as if the house belonged to her now that Sirius was gone. Yet the house often vindictively acted out against her. Walking into one room and Molly would often find herself in another section of the house entirely. Kreacher had also taken to disappearing large portions of the meals she prepared and giving a small portion to Remus before the remainder went to the garden. Even the children had begun to act differently. But Remus left them alone. He held no interest in attempting to get them to speak on Harry.
As such, Order meetings had generally lost all appeal. Remus only turned up to hear information on Harry in a desperate need to make sure his last remaining pack member was alright. So with Albus Dumbledore's first sentence, Remus was angry.
"Two days ago there was an incident at Privet Drive."
"Where is Harry?" Remus growled.
Everyone had easily come to realize Albus hadn't brought Harry with him. That left only two thoughts on their mind. Harry was either captured or dead.
"Now Remus," Albus started.
Remus snarled, finally tired of listening to everything the old man had to say. The Order had toyed with both him and Harry. Now they'd lost his pack member, his cub, and he wouldn't be leaving this situation alone.
"Don't, Albus, don't start that sentence with a condescending tone. You won't like where it gets you."
"Remus Lupin, don't you dare threaten Albus!" Minerva shrieked scandalized.
This scolding however didn't work on him anymore. He was no longer her student and he didn't have to listen to anyone attempt to show him the right way. Remus knew Albus was in the wrong. The fact they could all see it as well only angered him more especially when they all still fell back on his decisions without thought. He would show them they were all wrong.
"He promised Harry would be safe at Privet Drive." Remus spat. "You said he would be safer with his relatives and out of contact than here at Grimmuald where Order members come and go as they please. In all your infinite wisdom where is the common sense in that? Where has that left Harry?"
The group didn't look nearly as chastened as Remus would have liked. Albus didn't even look as if he'd thought of anything else. He looked like a man who simply wanted to keep them apart in their shared grief. Remus seethed as Albus began to speak once again.
"Remus, I apologize. I didn't see leaving Harry within the safety of the blood wards would allow Voldemort to enter."
"Do you even know it was You-Know-Who who has taken Harry?"
Silence befell the Order as the question was asked. All turned towards their leader who frowned at the thought.
"I don't know whether Voldemort is directly behind the attack however other Death Eaters wouldn't have been able to access the area because of-"
"-the Blood Wards. Yes, Albus we understand the concept." Remus replied drearily.
Numerous people muttered their agreement though just as many glared in fury. The group lay divided within their thoughts. None resorted to violence however knowing now wasn't the time for a sudden leadership change. The Order needed to remain strong at least until they managed to obtain word on Harry's location.
"What do we know?" Molly queried.
"Late yesterday Privet Drive was attacked." Albus restated. "An unknown assailant walked into the house and killed all three Dursley's. They then proceeded to, as far as I can tell, apparate Harry from the location without anyone discovering they'd been present. The bodies of the three Dursley's were located this morning when one teen attempted to sneak in and saw what the remnants of the attack."
They didn't know who had Harry. Remus fumed. Albus Dumbledore didn't even know who had his cub and yet he'd still called this meeting. Remus stood furious and turned to walk out with surprisingly Tonks trailing behind him, both unhappy with how their leader had handled this debacle.
On their way out they heard the rest of the conversation.
"What can we do now?"
"We wait for any news Severus can bring us. We hope Harry is not lost to us."
Remus cast the young Auror a calculated glance. He knew she held some affection for him yet if she couldn't side with him and help protect Harry then he had no regard for her. Yet the fire in Tonks eyes made him pause. She was angry. She wanted to help and for now that was good enough for him.
So this is a three part mini story. Hope you enjoyed the first part. Two more to come.
~MidnightEmber