we found love in a hopeless place
AN: I like imagining new scenarios for their first time, this is one of them and sadly the only one which made it into an articulate, written version. Any reviews are warmly welcome.
To say that Anakin was nervous would be an understatement.
This was a different kind of nervous than he had ever encountered before. I was exhilarating. Fascinating. And a potential catastrophe.
And not only because he didn't know what to do, or how to proceed, no one in the Temple told him how to do this accordingly, so he would have find out for himself. And embarrass himself in the most awkward manner. Because he didn't have a clue how to make love to the love of his life, he felt like a naïve man-child he was, who did not know how the world worked.
All those years his dreams were filled with fantasies, but never had they taken such a serious turn. Surely, he did imagine himself entangled with her, but all of that remained a fuzzy and dreamy experience. Never had he thought he would actually live up to this day.
It had been simmering between them since they met up in healer's ward after Geonosis. All those smoldering looks, awkward moments of silence and staring at each other wordlessly were about to culminated in this moment. It was about to happen. It was bound to happen.
Still, thinking about it filled him with unbearable dread. His feelings also had a curious and excited flare. Still, strong apprehension prevailed.
Maybe she was not feeling the same, maybe she just wanted to discuss their upcoming departure to Naboo and their future. Maybe this was not what she thought about. After all, he didn't want to give her the impression of being merely lusting after her. He loved her. And deeply so. Vowed his best to try not to disappoint her.
She had told him to come to her apartment. At night.
She had told him to be stealthy and avoid the entrance guards.
She had told him how to get past them. Gave him her personal clearance security codes. Said they would not be disturbed, that she sent her staff away for the night. He could remember her practically purring come meet me at my apartment tonight, I'll be waiting for you.
He deftly avoided the guards as she instructed him to and soon found himself typing security codes to unlock her main apartment doors. The doors gave away with a silent swoosh and he was met with an eerie silence of her suites. The rooms were dark, save for the light coming through the huge floor length windows. He could sense her Force signature somewhere inside the apartment, close. He dared to whisper her name reverently, and soon, she appeared in the doorway of her bedroom, smiling instantly when she spotted him, she practically ran into his arms and hugged him around the shoulders. Elated, Anakin cradled her gently and lifted her off her feet, so she could embrace him more comfortably. Smiling like a complete fool, he set her down.
"You look so soft tonight," and as soon as he uttered that, he instantly felt embarrassed for his recklessness, and proceeded to torture his poor lower lip again. A habit Padmé discovered and found to be rather adorable. Anakin's hands were smoothing tentatively across her robe clad arms, moving higher to cup her beloved face.
He still felt hesitant, still a little shy about kissing her without any restraint. He searched her face questioningly, asking for a silent permission. Padmé smiled reassuringly and very slowly, a slight trepidation noticeable on her own face, lifted herself on her tippy toes and motioned him to bend his head so they could finally, after long last, share a kiss. It was their first since before their intended execution in the Geonosian arena, sharing only loving and reassuring pecks and nuzzles when they had been comforting each other after their ordeal. This kiss, though, was different. They were undisturbed, no possibility of being caught, no rush. Strangely enough, despite it being possibly considered trivial by anybody else, this kiss gave them a very first opportunity to touch each other with their hands, as their previous brief kisses involved their lips only. Instinctively, Padmé's hands cupped his face lovingly, gradually making their way into his short strands.
She had touched his hair before, her hands finding curious comfort in sifting through the soft dark blond strands lovingly, when she had soothed him after his mother's untimely demise and even after, when he was either unconscious after losing his arm, or after the replacement surgery. Now, the touch had slightly more erotic connotations, as she gently pushed her body closer to his, her soft breasts pressed against his stomach.
As their kiss deepened and Anakin's hands ventured out to tentatively rub her lower back, she could feel the first stirrings of a gentle pressure of his beginning erection, through the thin material of his breeches.
Losing himself into the kiss, Anakin took longer to notice the blood rushing into his groin. When he eventually did, he broke their kiss regretfully and backed away, embarrassed for his body's reaction, eyes lowered.
Padmé merely smiled gently, not offended in the least, and pressed his body against her again, feeling the swelling bulge, the proof of his desire for her against her belly. She reveled in this new feeling and enjoyed watching Anakin, as his eyes were half closed and he was panting slightly, puffing hot air over her forehead as his head lowered down towards her, chest lifting slightly quicker than normal.
"I…," he tried to voice his doubts but Padmé shushed him by pressing a brief, firm kiss against the underside of his jaw, effectively rendering him speechless. Her lips continued to his neck, timidly kissing their way to the front, briefly brushing over his prominent Adam's apple and finally, going back to her eye level to kiss his leather tabards clothed chest.
Her soulful dark eyes opened and concentrated on him. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to instigate the first move. Padmé fulfilled his expectations when she grabbed his hand and proceeded to tug him towards her private quarters. Anakin's heart immediately quickened at the thought of being alone with her.
She led him to her darkened chambers and separated from him
"I'll be right back. You can start undressing," she winked at him teasingly and closed the door to the adjoining fresher behind her retreating form, leaving Anakin standing in the middle of her bedroom, mouth agape, amazed.
Did she really…she said…? Did she expect him to be completely naked when she came back? A delightful shiver ran down Anakin's spine, he was both excited and nervous beyond words. Nevertheless, he proceeded to shed the outer layers of his cumbersome Jedi robes, the action being slightly difficult with his still sore and awkwardly moving metal hand. Cloak, boots and belt fell away, the outer tunic followed, leaving him only in his thin beige undertunic and breeches. Just after he lifted his arms to shed the light undergarment and hesitantly started the process of loosening the front of his pants, dropping them down around his ankles, and on an afterthought with some hesitation, his undershorts followed. He felt incredibly stupid standing there in the middle of her bedroom, completely naked, vulnerable and to make matters worse, his new metal arm didn't help either. He at least sat on the edge of her soft bed just in time to hear the sound of door opening. Transfixed, he watched, completely caught off guard, as Padmé timidly made her way out of the fresher, her cheeks flushed, clad in absolutely nothing.
The two lovers stared at each other awkwardly, too busy with their intense perusal of the other's bare form. While Anakin's gaze lingered a bit longer on her small and round breasts with their pink pointed tips and on the shaded area between her beautiful legs, which was covered with a small thatch of neat dark curls, Padmé admired the comeliness of his youthful masculine form, taking note of the breadth of his shoulders, the length of his limbs, the lean muscularity of his torso. She blushed when her gaze fell to his cock, straining upwards, pressed against his lean abdomen, dripping with impatience.
The filtered lights of Coruscant night created intricate patterns on Padmé's skin, making it glow almost silver, as she slowly approached him, luscious unbound curls falling onto her left shoulder, she came to stand between his legs, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders as she appraised them with her hands, running along their length, slowly making her way to the front of his chest. He was very beautiful to her, the finest specimen of manhood, young, strong and potent, skin smooth yet hard, she could feel the strength quivering behind it as his muscles bunched when he moved his long arms to rest on her feminine hips, pressing her closer to him, looking at her like a goddess came down between mortals. Like he had never seen a naked woman before. Of course he hadn't, she couldn't imagine he would, nor did she want to.
As if there was a magnet between them, they fell into each other's embrace. The kiss was their most passionate up to date. They tasted each other with enthusiasm, tongues tentatively venturing out and touching for the first time. Anakin wasn't sure how to handle this, it was all so new to him but he followed his instincts and feeling Padmé enjoying their touches, it encouraged him to carry on with his ministrations.
The kiss ended with a delightful pop as Padmé finally realized Anakin's hand unconsciously made it to her ribcage and tentatively brushed against the underside of her breast. The barely there sensation was more exhilarating than if he touched her straight away. She shivered violently, needing to feel him fully, exploring her, her initial nervousness slowly disappearing, leaving only fire of want in its wake.
Anakin's thumb brushed against her nipple and he checked her face to gauge her reaction. Head moved and he pressed a sweet kiss into the valley between her breasts, then gave another soft kiss to the side of her chest, another and another, as if testing what he could get away with. When she didn't object to his fondling he moved to press an open-mouthed kiss to the tip of her nipple, nuzzling there and making her whimper with pleasure.
Padmé sifted her hands through the softness of his hair and whimpered when he experimentally took her flesh into his hot mouth, very lightly, just a fluttery feeling that sent delightful shivers down her spine again and a gush of warm wetness between her thighs. She felt an overwhelming urge to touch him everywhere, to have him touch her, intimately, either his hand or other parts of her body inside her, finally experiencing what she'd been dreaming about prior to this moment, secretly and each time followed by an immense wave of guilt.
Deciding to take things one step further and act on her desires, Padmé nudged her youthful lover away from her bosom, to face her.
"I need you, Ani," her plea didn't go unnoticed and Anakin, growing slightly more assured, rose from his place at the edge of the bed and once again reminded her of their significant height difference, his form overshadowing her completely. One last kiss with their bodies pressed together while standing and then she was moving, tugging him by his hand and leading them to the other side of the bed, she laying herself in the center of it, propping herself on her elbows to watch him join her. Padmé certainly enjoyed the unhindered view she had on him and felt herself grow wetter under the vision of him crawling his way to her. Anakin came to pause before her and deciding to throw caution to the wind, Padmé parted her knees as an invitation for him to come closer. Swallowing audibly, Anakin shifted to kneel between her parted legs and instinctively, his large hands came to brush her knees gently, looking at her like goddess revealed.
"You're so…so…I mean…I want to…" unable to finish the sentence, his eyes darted lower and somehow, she got his meaning. Smiling encouragingly, she took his palm between hers and laid it on her belly, slowly moving it lower. He watched with avid fascination, the movement almost hypnotic in its simplicity. When she finally led him to the apex of her thighs, she swallowed nervously and waited for him to pick up her intentions, patiently. The tips of his natural hand gently brushed against her moist flesh and she bit her lip, eyes closing to properly concentrate on the sensations caused by him. He explored her gently, carefully watching her reactions to his touch to each new place. He braced himself over her more fully and carefully slipped his long finger inside her, testing her warmth and wetness with the digit. Pleased by her reaction, he added another finger and experimentally moved them inside her, exploring her hidden depths.
He slowly stroked her higher until she fell over the edge. The ripple from inside her depths that followed and her sweet moans left him dumbfounded.
"Did I…did you?" Anakin whispered, just to make sure he was not imagining things.
Padmé only nodded her head, eyes shut tightly, an expression of lingering ecstasy on her face. Her breathing slowly returned to normal but her full cheeks remained flushed prettily. The sight of her made him smile, pleased he pleased her.
Slowly, as she came to herself, her eyes opened and her right hand made its way into his hair, stroking and then, tugging the glossy braid of golden hair, indicating him to move closer.
"I think…I'm ready, are you?" Padmé murmured into his lips, blushing, the puffs of her breath fluttering along his own skin as she spoke.
"Oh…Y-yea…I – I mean, do we have…shouldn't we use something, some protection of sorts?"
"It's fine, already taken care of," having injected herself with a contraceptive serum prior to his arrival, she certainly didn't want to risk them conceiving.
Anakin propped himself above her, nestling his hips between her thighs, his cock brushing against her belly as he moved to position himself above her, ready to take her.
He looked down between their bodies, and somewhat unsure, searched her eyes, questioningly. She smiled encouragingly and wrapped her hands around his wide shoulders, looking down as well, her gaze lingered on the angry purplish head of his cock, as it stood upright from its nest of dark blonde curls. Curious and apprehensive, the sight of him so aroused both excited and unnerved her, because honestly, to her, he seemed just a bit oversized. At that moment, she couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not.
Anakin must have noticed her hesitation, because he was not moving, the effort it cost him visible on his body language, because he was literally throbbing with an acute need to be sheathed inside her. "You alright?" he whispered, concerned for her well-being as always.
"Yeah, just… we'll take it easy, ok?"
Anakin nodded and brought his left hand to position his cock directly at her entrance. He looked very concentrated, and equally nervous, but he still managed to rub himself slowly across her damp entrance, brushing briefly across her still swollen and sensitive clit, she was sure it served to make him wet enough as well. He fumbled a bit, having difficulties with finding her entrance, but when the head finally slid in, he thought he would burst from pleasure, gasping surprisingly.
The feeling on Padme's end wasn't so tremendous, as she winced from the sudden intrusion, stretching her unfamiliarly. He was not even halfway into her and yet it felt so full. She tried to spread her legs wider so he could move more freely. He was currently propping himself on his forearms above her and moaning with his eyes closed, as he kept sliding in deeper. Padme whimpered from the sharp pain from her insides as he bumped into her wall and tried to force his way through, scraping along her inner walls each time he moved. She could feel every ridge and curve of him inside her. He withdrew only slightly, pelvis lifting above her, only to pick more speed and with a final strong thrust, broke her.
"Ungh…Kriff," she whimpered, her head falling back from his shoulder onto the pillows.
She seriously thought she would start crying, it was so much worse that they said. Her nails dug into his muscular back, face yet again hiding into the crook of his neck, so she could muffle her whimpers, because when he started finally moving, every tentative, yet strong thrust willed a low gasp from her.
Meanwhile, Anakin felt the need to fuck her hard and fast almost completely overwhelmed his senses, but with last bits of consciousness, he mumbled a sincere apology into her neck. "Sorry…"
He was doing his best and trying so hard not to let loose and keep his thrusts relatively stable but she was just so beautiful under him and so warm and wet inside, skin tight around his shaft. He propped himself on his knees and arms, pushing-up above her and felt he had better leverage like this and could move a bit more freely.
As if on cue, his movements quickened and for a few short moments, he let go, making their hips slap together audibly, he continued to thrust into her with the greatest force he had ever dared but before long, a ripple surged through him, centring around his groin as he managed a few more deep jabs into her warmth and let out a masculine growl as he emptied his seed into her. Padme found the sight extraordinarily beautiful, even though she was distracted by the ache between her legs, the way his face contorted into a grimace of complete pleasure, almost bordering on pain, she found her own form of gratification.
Anakin collapsed onto her small frame tiredly and she continued stroking his damp hair which gave into its natural tendency to curl. Growing aware of his weight and his current position on top of her, Anakin tiredly lifted and slowly slid out of her, his spent cock hanging enticingly between his legs, almost completely softened but still swollen and sensitive from his orgasm.
He rolled into his back beside and tried to catch his breath.
"Kriff, I've never, oh Force," he huffed heavily into the stillness of the room, spent.
Anakin was taken out of his reverie when he felt Padme suddenly turn and give him her back. She almost looked like she wanted to curl into a little ball and cry? He gazed at her battle scars for a moment, tentatively lifting his natural hand to lightly graze the skin of her back. When she failed to respond, he kissed her small shoulder gently.
"Is something wrong? Did I do something to hurt you? I mean, besides…" Anakin trailed off, embarrassed, but Padme only sighed. She was contemplating what they'd just done, what she'd just let him do and suddenly, in the post coital haze, the realization downed on her heavily, leaving her confused and frankly, unsure what this meant for them in the long run.
"I'm just thinking. About this, about us, I don't know what to make of it and what this means for us in the future," her voice equally hushed, she choked the last word out with minor difficulty.
"What do you mean? Are seriously doubting? After all what happened in the past few days, after this?" not knowing how to react, Anakin lifted himself from her soft bed to sit on the edge, head falling into his palms, so he could rub it to cease his nerves. Instead, he was pulling on the strands rather intensively.
"Why do you keep doing this to me? Why do you keep torturing me like this?" Now Padmé was the confused one.
"I don't understand..." she whispered very gently and moved to sit on the bed, staring at his naked back.
"You...You keep sending out such mixed signals I can't keep up with them. Why did you wanted me here in the first place? For this? So, that's what I'm to you, is that it?" He was becoming visibly more frustrated.
"Ani…of course not," Padmé moved closer and pressed herself tentatively against his back, gently rubbing his arm.
"What I meant is… It's all so complicated, so many things had happened, and now, I'm torn. Between my love for you and my obligations – your oath to the Jedi."
Anakin slowly turned and looked at her, bewildered, still unable to completely process the fact she was indeed in love with him. He looked at her, begging for an answer. Meanwhile he comforted himself with the sight of her, illuminated by the flickering dark blue lights of Coruscant night. She was positively mesmerising.
"I meant what I said, Padmé. I'd do anything you ask. I would willingly give up my future in the Order for you. Just for the chance to be with you, properly – I…," he paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. "I want to be yours. As your husband…"
Padmé looked dumbfounded, completely caught off guard, but looking at his face, she knew that he truly meant it.
Could they make it work? She wasn't sure. But she wouldn't be sure until they've at least gave it a chance.
"I…I'd like that as well, Anakin," she gave him a hopeful smile and waited for his reaction.
Anakin merely laughed and before she could react, he was kissing her deeply, clutching at her face and pushing her back onto her soft bed…