Title: Stars Aligned

Summary: For A Star In My Universe. Happy Birthday, gorgeous! I hope you enjoy the utter ridiculousness of my brain. A simple story, or more accurately, my dream and wish for them, if only the stars would align. Set post-prison.

Disclaimer: I do not own OITNB or any of its characters. They belong to Jenji Kohen, I do, however, own my writing so please don't steal- Johanna002©

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A/N: This is so ridiculous, but never the less I hope you enjoy it!

"Hi, you two," Red smiled happily as Nicky and Gloria walked through the door. Setting her book down on the armrest next to her, she turned to give them her undivided attention. Her eyes softened at the look of utter exhaustion on Gloria's face, and she patted the spot on the sofa next to her. "Where are you two coming from?" she asked.

Nicky kicked off her shoes and flung her body-strap purse to the floor. Pulling off her beanie and jacket, she heaved a heavy sigh as she shook out her massive curls. "Just dropped off Gloria's brats."

Gloria lifted her head to glare at her, brow arching high in irritation.

"I mean children," Nicky corrected with a shake of her head. Walking over toward her mother, she placed a soft kiss on her cheek and reached for the book she had been reading. "But she let me drive home, so I guess it wasn't all bad." she seated herself on the armrest next to her mother.

"Oh, really?" Red couldn't help the smile that stretched across her lips, Gloria's eyes widening in terror. "How did that go?"

"Well-"

"Awful," Gloria interrupted Nicky, her voice breaking in pitch. "She nearly gave me a heart attack."

"That'd be a little hard to do," Nicky waved her hand dismissively, "You'd need a heart for that."

Red rolled her eyes and plucked her novel from Nicky's hands. "Hand me that bookmark, will you?" she gestured to the coffee table, eyes scanning the page she had been reading before she'd been interrupted.

"Bookmarks are for quitters," Nicky grumbled

"Nicky," Red said warningly, popping her thigh roughly with the book.

Nicky's bottom lip pouted out apologetically, "that hurt."

"Then maybe you should behave," she replied calmly. With a shake of her head, she turned toward Gloria and sighed heavily at the amused look on her face. "But back to the driving, what else happened?"

Gloria laid back against the cushions, arms crossed over her chest. "What do you want me to tell you?" she asked her. "It was a complete fail."

"We're still alive," Nicky frowned, "so I didn't completely fail." Shifting on the armrest, she slid down and fell right into Red's lap. She ignored her mother's hiss of pain and laid her head to rest sweetly against her temple

"Well," Red said slowly, her arms wrapping protectively around Nicky's waist. "I guess you have a point."

"Oh, yea," Gloria scoffed. She kicked her legs up and propped them up on the coffee table. "Being dead would have really messed up my schedule."

"Schedule?" Red teased her, "what do you have going on? A hot date?"

Nicky rolled her eyes and stretched her legs out so that her feet were resting in Gloria's lap. "Who'd want to date her?" she asked, playfully wiggling her toes. Before Gloria's nails could claw into her feet, she slid from her mother's lap and laid dramatically on the floor. "Hey," she said after a moment. "Do we have anything to eat? I'm hungry."

"Is food all you think about?" Gloria asked.

"No," Nicky argued, "I also think about sex." Moving to her feet, she made her way into the kitchen. "Anyone want strawberries? Ma… do we still have strawberries?"

Red rolled her eyes, "Don't you see the stove is on, Nicky?" she asked her. "I'm making dinner."

"But, Ma, I'm hungry now!"

"Top shelf," she relented. "Wash them before you eat them. They have pesticides." She glared at Gloria good-naturedly, "which is why I told you to get them from the farmers market."

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

"Until I forgive you," Red fired back.

Nicky reappeared in the doorway, the carton of fruit in her hand. "I'll be alright," she said, mouth full and juice dripping from the corner of her lips. "A little poison never killed anyone." Plucking the green leaf from another strawberry, Nicky shoved the small treat into her mouth.
"Gloria," she called for the older woman, her cheek protruded like a chipmunk from one side, "Let's go go-carting," she slurped the juice in between her words.

"That sounds awful," Red cringed.

Gloria's eyes widened in horror, "didn't you just hear me say that you tried to kill me?"

"Fine," Nicky grumbled unhappily. "I'll just go with Vasily, or one of your darling angels." She shoved another strawberry into her mouth. "I have a need for speed."

"Nicky," Gloria sighed, "no. No speed. You're a drug addict."

Red held her hand up, index finger pointed high. "Recovering drug addict," she corrected.

"And?" Gloria questioned. "There are at least ten different ways you can cook a potato. You can fry it, boil it, slice it-"

"Make french fries," Nicky added.

"Gloria," Red breathed, "what the hell is your point?"

"At the end of the day, it's still a potato." She said simply, "same as her, recovery or not."

Before Red could respond, the sound of Nicky's phone ringing cut her off and she watched as her daughter answered, her mouth still full fruit.

"Hey, Lorna," Nicky greeted her lover. "Give me a second, I'll put you on speaker. The whole gang is here."

"I didn't want to talk to the whole gang," Lorna said, her voice echoing. "I wanted to talk to you. Are you free right now? I want you to come over "

"I've been free since July 4, 1776," Nicky said playfully.

Gloria scoffed, "More like October 17. You just got out of prison."

"Hey," Nicky frowned at her. "Who asked you?" With a shake of her head, she returned back to her phone conversation and disappeared into the safe haven of the kitchen.

"Why do you enjoy antagonizing her?" Red asked seriously.

Shrugging, Gloria motioned to the TV. "Needed something to do. My show is on hiatus until Spring."

"Hey, Gloria," Nicky reappeared and carelessly tossed the car keys at woman. "Take me to Lorna's."

"No."

"Why not?" Red asked.

"I don't want to."

"Oh, please," the Russian breathed. "For the love of God, stop being childish. It's down the street."

Gloria shook her head. "She can walk. The exercise will do her some good." She could feel Red's eyes piercing into her and she sighed dramatically. "I didn't volunteer for this!" she complained, "I'm not her taxi."

"Well, too bad," Red dismissed her. "I'm drafting you."

Nicky smirked, as Gloria begrudgingly rose to her feet. "I love when we are all on the same page."

"Same page," Gloria hissed, "we aren't even in the same library. Besides, this isn't some fictional story, Nicky."

"Well," the younger woman shrugged, following her out the front door. "That's debatable."