Harry, Ron and Hermione hurried gratefully out of the potions room, Ron still wiping Bubotuber Pus that Malfoy had lobbed across the room from his hair.
"Double Potions followed by History of Magic. This day cannot get any better." Harry said sarcastically.
"Hey, at least we can fall asleep there without getting detention." Ron added.
"Ron!" Hermione gasped, an affronted look on her face. "You should be taking notes! And then you sit there and wonder why you fail your exams."
"But you will let me look at your notes, right?" Ron asked hopefully. Hermione sniffed haughtily and refused to look at him. "Oh come on, Hermione! You wouldn't let me and Harry fail our exams." He wheedled.
Harry sighed. "Ron, you can read my notes if you want… if I make it long enough to take any." The trio laughed at this, for Professor Binns was notorious for putting his students to sleep with his sonorous voice.
"But seriously," Hermione said. "The Golden Age of Magical Piracy may actually be an interesting topic."
"Yeah, and Professor Snape is going to tell me I'm his favorite student tomorrow." Harry said dryly.
"It does sound interesting, but not when Binns starts droning about it." Ron said truthfully. They filed into Professor Binns' classroom after the other third years and took their normal seats at the back. Binns slowly drifted in through the blackboard and over to his desk, blinking his opaque basset-hound eyes sleepily.
"Settle down class." Binns croaked feebly, completely unaware how his students already seemed lack-luster. "In 1713 somewhere in the North Atlantic, the crew of the Night Swan lead by Captain Rosalie Fawcett overtook the muggle ship, Magnetic North and by chance rescued the wizard Oswald 'Ozzy' Theart…"
…
With a loud creaking the door was thrown open, letting blinding light stream into the hull.
"Well, well, well." A mocking female voice sounded from above. "What do we have here?" Ozzy blinked up at the bright circle, just able to make out several silhouettes gathered at the edge of the hatch. "Be ye wizard or muggle?"
"Wizard." Ozzy croaked.
"Ha! Told you, Adam," the voice came again as one of the thinner silhouettes lightly punch the shoulder of another. "Are you alone down there?"
"No!" Another voice sounded from the dark. "Killian Thames, wizard! Get me out of here!"
"Alright, lads!" The woman shouted. "Throw down the ladder!" A rope ladder came down, nearly hitting Ozzy in the head. He cursed and slowly climbed up into the light. Ozzy hauled himself on deck, straightening his dark brown jacket. The wizard fumbled around in a pocket, then realized what he was looking for wasn't there. His dirty hair fell into his face, and he brushed it aside as he nodded.
"G'day, witches and wizards. As much as I appreciate the rescue, I'd like to get my sword back before all the introductions."
"Tough luck," a woman said, stepping forward from the circle of onlookers. "Name and story first, then weapons," her eyes narrowed. "And where is your wand?" Ozzy tried to take a step forward but a man quickly pointed his wand at him before he could move.
"Take another step and I'll blast a hole in yer' head!"
Ozzy regarded him without saying anything, interlocking his fingers before cracking them at an unnatural angle. "My name is Oswald Theart. Call me Ozzy. Can I assume that you are the captain of this here crew?"
"That is where you would be mistaken," the woman said coolly. "Captain Rosalie Fawcett, at your service." She said with a sarcastic curtsy. She was only average sized in height, maybe shorter, but it was hard for Ozzy to tell for she was wearing high heeled black leather boots. She was clad in a frilly, cobalt blue skirt with a white, off-the-shoulders blouse and black corset. A matching blue bandana held back her bushy, dark brown curly hair, and a black lace shawl was tied jauntily about her waist. Large, golden hoops swung at her ears and a silver diamond necklace sparkled at her throat. A large hyacinth macaw perched on her shoulder as she glared at Ozzy, radiating authority.
"Interesting. Gryffindor? And then who is our wand-happy friend?"
"Adam, first mate," the big man grunted, still pointing his wand at Ozzy's head. "That's all you're gonna get."
"I'm fine with that." Ozzy smiled, still bending his fingers. Glancing around, he dropped his arms to his sides. His voice lowered to a whisper. "Might want to stand back." With a rapid flick of the wrist, a thin wand dropped into his hand.
"Expelliarmus!" He shouted, sending Adam's wand flying, to be caught by Rosalie. Yet Ozzy was not finished. Raising his wand to the sky at the same moment, he gave another cry. "Fumos!" Smoke poured forth around him, obscuring the wizard from view. From somewhere nearby his voice resounded with "Avis!" and with a deafening boom, more smoke several yellow birds flew forth in a flutter of wings.
Shouting broke forth as the birds rushed around, before disappearing into the sky. The smoke cleared, revealing a fuming Adam and an amused Rosalie. Ozzy stood behind them on the quarterdeck, a cup in his hand.
"They always said I was great at charms," he smiled. "Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum." The wizard drained the drink, his eyebrows shooting up. "Oi, now that's some good stuff."
"I'm impressed." Rosalie said slowly.
"Oh, you should see my memory charms." Ozzy shrugged and tossed the cup away. "If you wanna demonstration I can do it on this crew of muggles. Or that angry first mate of yours."
Adam stepped forwards, his brow furrowed. Rosalie returned his wand, but motioned not to do anything to Ozzy.
"We could use some fancy charm work like that aboard the Night Swan," Rosalie said, looking about and getting confirming nods from her crew. "We do need an new Obliviator. So, Ozzy, what shall it be? Back to the brig, or back with your fellow wizards?"
"Easy choice," Ozzy said. "I would be honored to have a place in your crew."
"Oi! What about me?" Killian shouted, the short wizard scrambling ungracefully out from the hold. "Please take me with you!" He cried, throwing himself at Rosalie's feet. The crew of the Night Swan laughed uproariously.
"An' why should we take a scallywag like you aboard?" Rosalie asked mockingly. "I know a landlubber when I see one."
"Hey, it's true, I'll admit it," Killian said nervously. "This is my first time at sea, but I've had training to be a professional navigator, and I can play a mean violin." He added hopefully. The crew howled with laughter again.
"I can vouch for him," Ozzy said wearily. "No one is better at playing the violin than he is." This only sent the crew into further spasms of hysterics.
"Can you vouch for his navigation skills?" Rosalie asked with a smirk. "We do appreciate our music aboard the Night Swan, but it sure isn't everything around here."
"He tells the truth. He is pretty good at navigating his way around."
Rosalie looked Killian up and down, a sarcastic frown on her face. "Alright," She said at last. "Mr. Thames can join us. Adam, keep an eye on those two as they obliviate the muggles. The rest of you, get the gold onto the Night Swan before this lot wakes up."
Ozzy smiled. "It'll be a pleasure. But first, there's the small matter of my sword."
"Do not fret, Mr. Theart," Rosalie said, looking back over her shoulder. "Complete this this one task and you can have your precious sword back." She and the rest of the crew disappeared down into the hull just as a black cat slunk out of the open door. It pattered quietly over to Ozzy and rubbed up against his legs, purring happily.
"Ramses! Nice to see ya among the living!" Ozzy said, kneeling down to scratch the animal between the ears. "Does Rosalie let animals on board?"
"That is the Captain to you." Adam growled, still pointing his wand at Ozzy.
"Alright then. Does the Captain let animals aboard the Night Swan? Because I insist upon bringing him, it's not every day that you find a polydactyl cat. They're good luck."
"Well, pterodactyl cat or not, the Captain gets the last say," Adam answered. "Her only rule on animals is 'don't let your pet eat someone else's', but she's not over fond of cats. Now get obliviating."
"Alright, alright," Ozzy said, getting back to his feet. "And its polydactyl, not pterodactyl." They turned to the group of stunned muggles that were tied to the mast, and Ozzy began his work.
Ozzy's voice rang out with a call of "Obliviate!" While Adam lowered his wand from Killian's head.
"So how'd you end up with a wizard like Oz?" Adam asked.
"We crewed together on a ship travelling with a friend of Ozzy's, but we got split up in a storm. We lost some crew there, rest their souls. Afterwards we drifted for a couple days, before we encountered the muggles. Couldn't put up much of a fight until y'all arrived." Killian replied.
"Aye, it could be worse." Adam said, watching Ozzy go around and obliviate each muggle. "I'm Muggle born, my parents died in a fishing accident when I was five and I was forced to live with my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt can't have kids, so she got real bitter towards me. Couldn't have been more relieved when I got my Hogwarts letter. Where you schooled there?"
"Yeah, Slytherin." Killian said. "How 'bout you?"
"Gryffindor, same as Rosalie. And Ozzy?"
"Ravenclaw, though some might say he'd be a better Slytherin."
"Right, gang!" Rosalie shouted, emerging from the hull. "Get that gold onto our ship! I am afraid some muggle monarchs are going to be very disappointed. Are those muggles obviated yet?"
"Aye, aye Captain!" One of the crew called.
"Righty-o! Here is your precious sword." Rosalie said, tossing Ozzy a long, thin blade with a hilt decorated with a golden clamshell.
"Precious indeed!" Ozzy laughed as he caught the sword. He inspected something on the hilt, then raised it above his head while snapping his heels together. A loud explosion and poof of smoke burst forth from the weapon, leading to a series of incredulous stares. "Well, it still works fine."
"Fancy," Rosalie said, only mildly impressed. "And you Killian, your wand. Wax Myrtle, lionfish spine core, thirteen and a half inches long, surprisingly rigid."
"Dang, you're good." Killian said, taking back his wand.
"I should be," Rosalie answered. "My father was a wandmaker afterall. Ready to board the Night Swan?"
"Question, I've got myself a cat, Ramses; will he be welcome on your ship?" Ozzy asked. Ramses jumped up onto the wizard's arm like a falcon and glared daggers at Rosalie.
"Bad kitty, raaack!" The hyacinth macaw on Rosalie's shoulder squawked.
"And this is Gypsy," Rosalie said, gesturing to the stunning bird. "We don't like cats much."
"But Ramses is no ordinary cat, he's both black and polydactyl, which as you obviously know brings luck to a ship."
"A polly-what?" Rosalie asked, looking a bit startled.
"Oh boy, here we go." Killian grumbled. Ozzy smirked.
"He as extra toes on his paws. A classic sign of luck-bringing."
"Yeah, because what we need to bring us luck is a few extra toes." Adam snorted
"Ah, but have you heard tale of the wizard Andel Watters? He, his sister and brother and their crew were saved from disaster by their ship's cat, who happened to have a total of twenty-two toes!"
"How in the name of Merlin do you get saved by extra toes?" Adam said with an incredulous look at Ramses.
"Ask Andel or his sister. But believe me or not." Ozzy said. "Either way he will help keep the rat population down on any ship."
"And is that because of his extra toes?" Adam smirked.
"Extra toes beside, a cat could help keep the Night Swan pest free," Rosalie finally said. "Can you promise that he will not attack any of the sailor's pets?"
"Of course." At Ozzy's words, Ramses flicked his tail and yawned.
"Then welcome aboard!" Rosalie said, hopping on a plank rigged on a crane which whisked her through the air and back onto her ship.
Ozzy and Killian looked out at the Night Swan in awe. The sailing vessel was quite the large ship, its prow painted white and carved into a swan's head, and the side of the ship was complete with wings that were pulled tight against the hull. As the new crew members crossed the boarding planks over onto the ship, the swan turned its head and snapped at Ozzy and Killian.
"Merlin's beard!" Killian yelped, jumping back from the hissing swan to Adam's amusement.
"Let them pass!" Rosalie hollered from the deck. "New recruits!" The swan lifted its head gracefully and they continued their way onto the Night Swan unhindered. Ozzy stepped aboard and looked about as the sails magically hoisted themselves, monitored by crew members as they sped away.
Author's Note: The result of reading Harry Potter while listening to Alestorm. Enjoy.