A/N: Haaa~ It's been a long time since I uploaded a oneshot. This if from the CloudxAerith forums' 102 Theme Challenge, the theme being Pulse. I hope its ok. I've been regressing a lot and my brain isn't working like it used to.. maybe I shouldn't write anymore... x_x Enjoy if you can.. :3
Rin Oikawa - I'll Be Your Home
I strongly suggest you listen to this song. It's awesome! :D
As Sephiroth drew back his sword from my stomach, as I expected to fall onto the mossy platform that the Cetra's once used to pray to the planet, I caught a final glimpse of Cloud's face when my mortal green eyes finally closed. The waves of life, the force that exerts my blood to travel across my body called pulse abruptly ceased and my breathing immediately came to a halt.
Though my human body had diminished its functions, my soul still lingered. I watched as the seconds progressed from my friends' fight with Jenova Life until they whispered their last farewells. My heart crushed at that moment. I wanted to touch their shoulders, smile like I usually do and tell them everything will be fine. I didn't expect for my life to be cut so shortly. The promise I made with Cloud within the Sleeping Forest was never realized.
Cloud.
I looked at him; his face that was painted with my blood, shadowed. He was watching me with an expression I couldn't discern. From all my travels I had met with different kinds of people; different expressions, different faces. I had known happiness, contempt, sorrow, fear. And yet, his expression was foreign to me.
My thoughts were interrupted when he held my mortal body in his arms. All of him was warm. I couldn't feel it but, I know. Everything about him was warm. Some people just overlooked that aspect of him. His shoulders seemed to shake as he walked; each step a heavy one.
.-+-.
Don't look back
Don't regret
Time's falling out of these hands
I'll let you leave me
.-+-.
I was floating; the only thing connecting me to the human world was his arms. The water had purified my body, releasing me from the bonds of blood and despair. Light that was filtered from the trees playfully danced on my pale skin bringing somewhat another life in them. The eyes of my soul looked further on, and the sky was blue. It was a brilliant blue. Like that man's eyes, like this man's eyes.
Slowly, his grip loosened and I was sinking. Lying stretched out with an expression as if I was asleep, quietly sinking into the cold and tranquil lake. The net of light scattered by the ripples of the surface danced upon my motionless body. It was as if it was trying to tie onto me. I watched as the surface of the lake drew further away. The light that twinkled on the lake's surface became weak and distant.
When I fell onto the depths, my soul finally parted with my body and I rose from the darkness of the lake. I was hoping to see Cloud again, maybe for one last time for I couldn't wish so much. But, the only thing I saw when I resurfaced was Cloud's retreating back as he left. His blonde locks swayed with the wind. He left without looking back. My heart went out to him as I clasp my hands in prayer.
Cloud… be strong.
.-+-.
Go on, you know home is always inside your soul
All the light to bless your way
Don't be afraid
'Cause I'll be your home
.-+-.
There had been a mist crawling over the earth, thinning above the ferns and the few scattered winter wild flowers, and then paling utterly into phosphorescence as it rose among the giant trees.
How many times had I taken this route? It had been 40 years since that day, since I left her in the lake of the Forgotten City without looking back. My once gravity defying blonde hair turned to a majestic gray, folds of skin appeared at the ends of my eyes, in my forehead. The only thing that remained steadfast were my cerulean blue eyes that still glowed with what remaining Mako poison that circulated my body. I come here every day because that is the only way I could talk to her, because at every day break, she returns to me, laughing, playing, dancing on the still surface of the lake.
Seconds passed, and she appears; as young, as beautiful as I remember her. She smiled at me like always, mischievously teasing me into plunging myself after her. All I could do was watch her and be enthralled by her magic.
And like always, when she would always reach out to me in the end, when the light leaves that enigmatic place and the magic ceases, my heart dies. The throbbing pain of my yearning weakens me. I didn't know what my thoughts were; only that the pain seemed unbearable. The forest was waking all around me and I turn to reality.
.-+-.
In this time
In this place
This moment is all we have
And tomorrow we never know
.-+-.
The precious moments slipping by. My pain had been finally loosened, like a moan coming out of me, and I'd let it go as I'd turned away. The old image of the dream had faded just a little.
Darkness again; no firelight; no point of reference; no sensation except pain; pain all through the thing that I was which had no limbs, no eyes, no mouth to speak. Pain, throbbing, electrical; and no way to move to lessen it, to push it this way, or that way, or tense against it, or fade into it. Just pain.
.-+-.
Every precious time let it go somewhere away
You will learn and you'll love
Forgive the past
And you can move on
.-+-.
My family, my friends. They were waiting for me, but my feet were still rooted in this ancient ground.
What did I want? Why was my soul aching still when all the rest of them had struck some balance? I was happy to be with them, happy to be walking these old streets; but why wasn't it enough?
My infinite gaze turned to the arriving twilight. I tried to find the stars. But I couldn't.
I thought of her dreams, her garden of peace on earth, with flowers springing from the blood-soaked soil. I thought of them, and how it also became my dream.
If only she could see it now; the dream, our dream, I fulfilled for her.
.-+-.
All the days you've come to a place
Then you see that your home is away
Now the sun is rising
Lighting up your sky again, brightly
.-+-.
When Sephiroth struck his blade into the same place he struck her, I thought it would be my end too. We had the same scar, the same wound made by the same person. Is it not fitting that I would too die like her? But why was I alive? Why, when Sephiroth had killed her the same way?
I cursed the heavens, destiny, fate—whatever those foolish men call it. Why wouldn't you let me die?
As I recalled those memories, a warm consciousness appeared in front of me. It was her. But, why? The sun had vanished, the magic had ceased. Why was she standing in front of me? So unbelievingly real…
.-+-.
Every precious time let it go somewhere away
You will learn and you'll love
Forgive the past
.-+-.
She looked at me; and her hands closed on my shoulders, gentle and loving as before. And through the veil of my tears, I saw her smile sadly.
There was so much I wanted to say to her, to ask her. Yet I couldn't find the words really, or a way to begin. She had always had so many questions; and now she had her answers, more answers perhaps than she could ever have wanted; and what had this done to her? Stupidly I stared at her. How perfect she seemed to me as she stood there waiting with such kindness and such patience. And then, like a fool, I came out with it.
"I want to be with you…"
.-+-.
Go on, you know home is always inside your soul
Wherever you go, whatever you see
.-+-.
The moment she touched her lips upon mine, those 40 years returned to me, and I became the younger, confused Cloud Strife that always loved her. She beamed at me with the same radiance, her scent lingering in my face.
"Welcome home, Cloud…"
I'll be your place
And I'll be your home