The characters all belong to Janet Evanovich.

CHAPTER ONE

"Ranger?" When had Ranger crept in? No wonder I had slept so well last night. Mmmmm...He felt warm and yummy and my body shivered involuntarily. I snuggled into his warmth, but his body was tense and I wondered why he wasn't answering me.

"Ranger, what's wrong?" My voice was barely above a whisper as if still held captive by my deep sleep.

"Morelli's here, Babe," Ranger replied gruffly.

I blinked and lay frozen. Joe? Here? Oh no! I took a quick inventory of myself in bed, where I had fallen asleep last night alone. I discreetly peeked downwards and saw that Ranger was lying on top of the covers fully dressed in cargo pants, thank goodness. But we were spooned tightly together with my head resting on his arm instead of my pillow. His other arm was wrapped tightly around my middle, just grazing the bottom of my breast, and his fingers splayed on my lower abdomen. On any other morning, this would have me in a tizzy, but this morning - well, okay, it had me in a tizzy. But Joe? Shit!

A throat cleared at the foot of the bed and I forced my head to turn in its direction. My on-again off-again boyfriend Joe Morelli was standing there, hands on hips, looking very pissed. I could almost feel steam radiating from his taut body.

"Joe, hi. Um, wh-what are you doing here?"

Joe wrenched his glare from Ranger and cast a searing stare in my direction. "What am I doing here? I belong here. I'm your boyfriend. The question is what is he doing here?"

"She did nothing wrong," said Ranger abruptly.

"What she did wrong," hissed Joe through his teeth, "was to allow you to become involved in her life. She's my girlfriend, and I've had enough. Get your hands off her and get out. Permanently."

I stared at Joe with my mouth agape. Ranger hadn't budged and was still wrapped around me with his warmth while he maintained a cold glare at Joe. I could feel the even rise and fall of his chest against my back and the almost imperceptible tightening of his arm around me. The slight shift of his fingers below my navel caused my belly to flutter and forced a hiss of air through my teeth.

I knew it didn't escape Joe's notice because the temperature in my bedroom seemed to ratchet up several notches and Joe's eyes blackened with fury. I knew I needed to speak up – to say something, anything, but I was choking on the testosterone.

"No," said Ranger steadily.

Joe looked stunned. "What do you mean, no?" His voice was now an octave higher.

Ranger stared a Joe for a full minute before answering. "I'm in love with her."

Joe and I both stopped breathing. I don't know which of us was more stunned by Ranger's admission. Ranger kept his maddeningly tight grip around my stomach. Joe wobbled slightly, reached out a hand, and lowered himself to sit at the foot of the bed.

And that's when life as I knew it stopped.

My name is Stephanie Plum, and I'm a bond enforcement agent, aka bounty hunter. I work for my cousin Vincent Plum, and that's where I met Ranger. Ranger's actual name is Ricardo Carlos Manoso, and he's my mentor, partner, protector, and now who knows what else. Up until now, Ranger's only admission to love for me came with the condition that condoms, not rings, were involved. And he had resisted the prospects of a relationship so much that he had sent me packing to Joe after the one and only time that we had made love.

Joseph Morelli was my sometimes boyfriend. We had known each other since childhood, and Joe was the first to put my female body through its paces. Joe worked as a vice cop on the Trenton police force and was more frequently applying the pressure on me to quit my job and become a housewife. His housewife. I loved Joe, but I loved Ranger, too.

Joe was my comfort food and Ranger was my dessert. Kind of ironic since Ranger doesn't eat dessert, but that's how they fit into my crazy life. The problem was, I couldn't enjoy life without my comfort food and my dessert, but somehow I was being placed in a position to choose only one. What was up with that?

I'd like to say that I grew some sort of backbone and stood up to Joe and Ranger. I'd like to say that I made a choice and set things straight. But for once, I had trouble finding my tongue at all. And while Joe and Ranger discussed my well-being as if I were a child – indeed, it sounded like they were arguing over custody arrangements – I just sat in my bed astounded. Joe was knocked off balance by Ranger's confession of his love for me and that took the fire out of his anger. I was surprised too. Ranger had said before that he loved me, but it always came with strings attached. But to say he was in love with me was altogether different, and I have to admit that it changed my outlook.

So Joe and Ranger sat down like reasonable men (in my bed!), and agreed that neither would, you know, do the cha-cha with me until I had decided between them. Once the pact had been made, I received a kiss on each cheek with a "Love you, Cupcake" on one side and a "Love you, Babe" on the other, and they left me to enjoy the rest of my Sunday. And to reflect on the pandemonium that was my life.

I didn't know whether to feel ecstatic that Ranger was in love with me, angry that they had both treated me like a child, or upset that Joe and I had taken another step backwards in our relationship. All this, and I hadn't even had a cup of coffee yet. I could think of only one way to deal with my situation. I dialed Lula and arranged a shopping spree.

"Girlfriend, you have good timing - there's a shoe sale at Macy's. I'll pick you up in 30 minutes."