AN: So this is my first St Berry one-shot, it delves into their reunion in the upcoming episode and gives them much needed closure. Hope I captured the angst and did St Berry justice.
Set Fire To The Rain-St Berry
I let it fall, my heart
As it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark, I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
My hands they were strong but my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms in your without falling to your feet
I set fire to the rain, watched it pour as I touched your face
When it burnt, I cried as I heard it screaming out your name
When I lay with you, I could stay there close my eyes feel you here forever
You and me together nothing is better
I set fire to the rain, watched it pour as I touched your face
When it burnt I cried when I heard it screaming out your name
I set fire to the rain and I threw us into the flames
When it felt something died cos I knew it was the last time
Sometimes I wake up by the door
That heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now that we're already over I can't help myself from looking for you
Oh no
Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn
He watched her in her element, like a sole bright gleaming star in the night sky as she lights up the stage with her beauty and talent that night, hiding in the shadows, his eyes shining with undying admiration. She was destined for greatness, he knew it the moment he met her. But they were star crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet from houses in mutiny, their alliance fragile and agonising as they inevitability ending in tragedy.
Her cheeks stream with tears, her mascara staining her rosy cheeks as she sings her heart out to a seemingly empty audience, his eyes fixated on her petite figure, her personality larger than life as she brings the gloomy night into light with her angelic voice. He resists the urge to reveal himself and clap wildly as she finishes on the last note, her face filled with hot salty wet tears as she raises her head until she makes her mark on the tempo. Perfection. Rachel Berry knew how to achieve perfection to the very precise science of it all. After all she was a star just like himself, two divas alive as they battled the exuberant energy, playing off eachother in their strive for stardom. He smiles, proud and smug. He always knew it.
That dream of hers, to sing and awestruck millions in the audience of a sold out show was not a fantasy but inevitability. He remembers the vulnerability that laced her soft voice that afternoon when he returned to her, her conviction broken with a hint of uncertainty. He told her she would make it and he knew in his heart that she would, without him urging her on. She was strong and empowering, she would survive without him. But little did he know he couldn't survive without her.
She feels the depth of her bottled up emotions like water in a fountain splurging out into a river of tears, noting the significance of their story behind each word she sings. When he came into her life, she was broken and he'd brought her back to life until everything she learnt to live for burnt up in flames, leaving her shattered.
I loved you.
The words echo in her mind as she wipes her tears, composing herself. Loved, past tense. To this day she doesn't know what she did to make him stop loving her. She swallows the lump in her throat, tears threatening to spill as she realises she's been empty without him. He'd left with no explanation, no goodbye, no closure to their epic romance. She thought for flickering moment, that this could have been her bittersweet fairytale, she had finally found her soul mate, someone who spoke the same language as her and understand how she breaths music with every pore of her body. He had understood her passion and her quirks. He was the boy, she knew it with conviction.
That boy will love you for everything you are, even you like about yourself, those are the things he would love the most.
Wishful thinking. If only she could be so lucky.
She must have been caught up in her thoughts, standing still on the stage, her tears drying on their own. Her hair is wavy and damp from the rain she was drenched in this afternoon, she feels a slight wind hit her face as some dark mysterious figure moves ahead of her.
She squints her eyes to find a familiar face, a face she hadn't touched or seen in almost a year.
He stands opposite her, clapping away at her performance on stage, smiling proud until her face morphs into a scowl, demanding an explanation long overdue.
'Jesse? What are you doing here?'
He breathes heavily, taking in the image of her. She looks so different yet even more beautiful if that's possible, her wavy brown hair falling on her slender shoulders, her eyes glistening with so many shades of sorrow and her bangs hiding the sadness in her eyes.
He had left her burnt without time to heal, broken her heart beyond repair.
'I came back for you.' He says it so simply like its most natural thing in the world.
Her eyes look at him in alarm, her expression emotionless as she stares at him, building her walls, walls he had broken as her armour as he pleads her with his own humbles eyes to let him in again.
'I'm not taking you back. You slaughtered me, literally in the car park and left me, no explanation, no goodbye. You can't just storm back into my life and expect me to fall back in your arms, Jesse.'
She was always dramatic. He chuckles a little as she looks at him offended.
'I'm here to help your team. I'm on sabbatical until I transfer to NYU for the theatre program and I'm actually assistant coach for the theatre company that hosts Nationals, so I come in peace.' He raises his hands up in surrenders as she shoots daggers with her eyes, a weak attempt at humour.
There's a silence between them, one filled with unanswered questions and unspoken regrets.
Her icy mask fades away as she looks at him with genuine curiosity. 'Why?'
'Because I feel like I owe you, since I kind of sabotaged you last year and left you broken. I feel like I need to fix you.'
Her eyebrows scrunch up in annoyance, her arms folded beneath her chest as she glares at him. 'I don't need you to fix me.'
He swallows. The lump in his throat coursing with emotion he can't control as his own piercing blue eyes lock with her warm brown orbs, demanding attention as he speaks the words.
'I'm sorry, for everything, the egging, leaving you. But you have to know it wasn't a game for me Rachel. I did love you, just like I know loved me too, ferociously...'
She cuts him off, coldly. 'Shelby told me, about your part in helping us unite. Was it just some sick plan to see me heartbroken, the whole textbook strategy of breaking the heart of the club so we wouldn't have the nerve to carry on?'
Her voice is so vulnerable now, so naked and exposed as she lays herself bare to him again.
'No,' he steps closer to her, taking her hands in his, his thumb rubbing her knuckles.
'What did I do wrong?' She's shrinks with her barely audible whisper, and he resists the urge to kiss her better, to console her, hold her and comfort her like he's been longing to do.
'You didn't love me back, not the way I wanted you to.'
'So you left me burnt, like wooden pieces in a fireplace, you lit me up and let us burn.'
He sighs, stroking her face with his other hand. 'I had to let you go before you became me, a soulless automaton.' He leaves her standing in the room, all alone, glancing back to catch her wipe her tears and get herself together again.
Rachel Berry was a fighter, he knew it. She would sour through the wind and fly with her own wings. She didn't need him.
Maybe it was that they were too alike, their alliance was so destructive, the fire burning to ashes as it settled into the dark landscape of their history. Jesse knew whatever clouds darkened the sky, she would be the star to brighten the space with her enigma.
She had brought him to life, humanised him so he could feel the depth of her soul ebbing every lyric he sung, she had changed him for the better. Before her he was just a machine with no emotions, she had made him a guy worthy of her greatness. He let her in and she broke him, pining after another with half the music ability and the charm he exuded with his arrogance.
Jesse St James had surrendered the battle for her heart, and he left heartbroken without her. Seeing her again was like breathing air he didn't know he was holding in.
Rachel Berry was his star, gleaming bright in his dark blue sky, bringing light in the depths of his dark days.
He shuts his car door and weeps like a girl, living without her was hell. Knowing he was being loved kissed and caressed by another unworthy of her beauty and talent. The pain was unbearable as he soaked in the image of her in his head.
He was going to win her back. He was going bring the fire she lit back into his life. He was not leaving without her this time. He was going to see her live out her dreams with him.