A/N: okay, i have very recently become obsessed with 2p hetalia, it's the reason i created my account in the first place. i noticed all the 2p AmeriCan and 2p UkUs and 2p Germitly and even 2p Spamano! but what the hell? i cant get so bad, that i decided to write them myself! first, im doing this FranaCan (Canada and 2p France) then i might do another one with France and 2p Canada... it will work! (sorry for the long authors note! -/-)

*Francois*

i was sitting in another damn bar. not that the bar itself was shitty enough to piss me off, but the fucking idiots who dragged me out here make me a bit suicidal.

i was perfectly content spending my Saturday night at home alone smoking and getting drunk or at a bar alone smoking and getting drunk. however, because it was the fourth of July and America was celebrating the anniversary of his independence, the retard and his 1p felt the urge to drag me out to this stupid bar with a dozen other countries and their 1p selves it was packed, i hate packed places. it was hot, i hate hot places. and everyone was either fighting, laughing, or just generally getting on my damn nerves.

my own 1p was, as he always was, harassing some poor girl (or if it was a guy, he wouldn't care) who was serving him and his stupid friends another round of beers. both Americas were on stage, doing karaoke to their national anthem. Matt, Oliver, and the albino ex-nation were in an argument of some kind. and everyone else was doing things too un noteworthy and stupid for me to even bother acknowledging.

all in all, i was getting very pissed off. i took a long drag of the cigaret that the bar keep tried to tell me to smoke outside, then flicked my finger, letting the ashes fall into the beer i stopped drinking a while ago.

"Franny~!" i hear my least favorite moron call coming closer to me. i don't even turn around as Olive's arms circle my neck. "Franny! will you please tell Gilbert and Matt that animals don't talk to people! Tell them it's impossible, won't you Franny?" he coos in my ear with a sugary sweet voice, laced with evil intent.

Oliver is such a fucking freak!

i still don't turn around as i use his face as an ash tray, putting out my half smoked cigaret out on his cheek. "owww, Franny you're so mean..."he wines, the smile still evident in his voice, but i'm sure he's tearing up from the pain.

now, thoroughly annoyed, i get up and start for the exit. "Come on, Fran, don't leave already!" Matt shouts after me.

"Don't call me Fran or Franny." i grumble through gritted teeth. an hour and a half with morons is about all i can take, but really, since Allen is my ride, i cant go anywhere. So i have every intention of storming out to have a few more smokes out back until this whole fucking mess is over. i push the door open with a little more force than is necessary, no big deal.

except it was a big deal! because on the ground out side, clenching his forehead from under a winter hat, was Canada. "owww..." he mumbles meekly, siting flat on his ass. "That hurt" he states, before looking up at me with those big sparkling purple eyes.

Shit, why'd it have to be Matt's adorable little 2p? "damn, my bad." i grumble nervously." he looks taken back, but then smiles.

"it's okay, i'm fine!" he says, as he takes the hand i extended to him and stands up.

Shit shit shit, he's being cute! "well, next time don't be in my fucking way when i'm opening doors, dumb ass!"

nailed it!

Canada looks, frightened, and begins stuttering an apology for me slamming the door in his face when i hear those two retards behind me. "HEY! Frann, don't yell at my Mattie because your an inconsiderate dick!"

i heave a sigh as Matt wraps a protective arm around said 1p. "that's right," Oliver says a little more calm, "Mathew is untainted... don't corrupt his innocence!" the way he said it made us all shiver.

"OMG, Mattie your bleeding little bro! did these bad guys hurt you? the hero will save you!" America yells, jumping off the stage and running twords us to examine the slight bruise on Canada's forehead.

he's still going on and on about the tiny cut when i decide this is the perfect time to get the hell out of there. i open the door even harder this time, and slip into the fridge cold of the night. i looking back to shut the door i see Francis hugging on Mathew, and i suddenly get the urge to break both his arms off. but i settle for taking a seat on the curb and lighting another cigaret to calm me (A/N don't smoke beiy, it gives you cancer! Francois can do it cause he's a nation and supper durable beiy!).

for a good ten minutes or so, i sit in peace with my thoughts of how much i hate everyone, especially Francis. then, i suddenly have company. i swerve my head slightly to glare at what ever asshole disturbed my peace. anger quickly dissipates and turns to nervous shock when i see Canada smile at me.

"mind if i join you?" he ask, taking a seat beside me. i don't (cant) say anything, and instead turn away; taking an especially long puff of nicotine into my lungs (A/N cancer beiy!) and exhaling it slowly into the night, it's quiet.

"...am i...bothering you?" he ask me, breaking through the awkward silence. i turn to him with my most deadly 'fuck off' glare.

"no your not, because I've had the biggest most fucking embarrassing crush on you for the past 200 years or so! and i'm also really sorry for the door thing earlier, and what i said. you were just being too damn cute and i got fucking flustered, you damn cute bastard!"

...

or at least I'd like to say something to that effect. instead i mumble/growl, "I hate innocents." and stomp out my smoke.

"sorry." he says lowering his head with an adorable blush. i sigh, why the hell is he so alluring.

i curse in french then stand. "go back to the party, kid. before you catch a cold or something..." i slowly turn my head in what i hope is a uncaring manner, back twords the bar. a light jolt of shock flashes through me when i see eight sets of eyes peering out the large window.

half of them, namely Matt, glare intensely at me.

they clumsily try to close the curtain when they notice me noticing them, tearing it down in their haste. Matt continues to glare as the other fumble to rehang the cloth.

"oh," the angel- i mean Canada hums, stepping up beside me, "i think they're watching us." you think? these guys don't trust me to keep a cactus alive, why would they ever leave their beloved Mathew alone with me? said nation giggles adorably beside me.

i'm reaching to light another cigaret when i see Matt look me straight in the eye make a fist and pat his arm muscle.

DID HE JUST THREATEN ME!? that's it! fuck all those bastards to hell! i'm having my way with this unwittingly sexy little vixen to night!

flipping Matt and the rest of those fuckers the (gill)bird, i grab Canada's arm and drag him away.

Aaaaaaaand! chapter one is completed beiy! this is only going to be maybe three or four chapters long beiy, but whatever. the next chapter will be in Canada's point of view, and then smexy time in chapter three will be from Francois beiy. don't forget to comment share favorite, whatever beiy. but i am in desperate need of reviews beiy! I need some kind of structure in life beiy... just tell me what you'd like to see next! tootles, loves ;3 beiy!