Amy and Ty walked back to the barn. Amy was holding Lyndy who was asleep in her arms while Ty pushed the empty stroller along.
"So Lyndy has a stone."
"Yup, some traditions are worth saving."
"I didn't mean that we shouldn't have the old traditions Amy, just that we should also start new ones."
"It's good to hear that Ty, but that's not what you said at the time."
Ty folded the stroller at the base of the stairs and tucked it away in the tack room as Amy switched the light on to the loft.
"Oh, Ty, the lights out, go up and switch on a lamp."
"Come on follow me" he chuckled as Amy stood at the bottom, her arms around Lyndy.
Ty ran up the stairs and turned on the standing reading lamp by his chair.
Amy looked up as the light went on and breathed deeply as Ty looked over the railing.
"What are you waiting for ?"
"The light Ty" she said walking up then stopping to scan the room when she could look through the bannisters.
"See coast is clear."
"Great, let me get her in her crib."
"You ok Ames, you seem jumpy."
"I'm fine Ty."
"You don't sound fine, what's bothering you ?"
"Nothing, I'm just tired and I have a pair of client horses coming in tomorrow morning."
"It's Sunday Amy, I thought we'd spend the day together."
"I have to work Ty and the client has to drop them off tomorrow."
"No fine I get it, maybe after the drop off."
"After the drop off I have horses to deal with."
Amy managed to get Lyndy down without too much fuss and headed into the bathroom. After changing and grabbing a glass of water she lay down and closed her eyes.
Ty joined her and rolled over to slide his arm around her waist and tuck her in to a spoon.
"So you never told me why Cass and Caleb had to cancel at the last minute."
"They had scheduled to close on a farm, small ranch whatever yesterday but it got held over due to an emergency. They had to do it today."
"Ranch ? Caleb and Cass bought a property ?"
"Nice piece of land, 30 acres, 8 horse barn and two smaller outbuildings."
"How did I not know about this, I was just with Caleb yesterday ?"
"I don't know why you didn't know about it, they've been looking for a few months."
"So a house huh, I guess it's easier without a kid."
"What's easier ?"
"Saving, getting by, still they must have come into some money."
"Cass has been working 65 - 70 hours a week for 18 months Ty, and Caleb has been moving some stock, winning buckles and working for dad. They've been pretty focused on this. They've worked their asses off, they're getting back into trying mode as soon as the smoke clears and they regroup."
"Guess we have some catching up to do." Ty said running his hand down Amy's side.
"I'm really not in the mood Ty and I don't want to wake Lyndy."
"I just thought you know, naming day, maybe we should practice for a second."
"Sure Ty, climb aboard, we'll keep the next one in a dresser drawer."
"So that's what this is. Amy we'll work this out, Lyndy is fine, we're doing Ok."
"Whatever Ty, let me sleep."
"I still can't believe neither of them mentioned it."
"I asked them not to Ok, just drop it." Amy snapped at him.
"Why would you ask them to keep that a secret from me ?"
"Because I didn't want you to get all up in your head, like you're about to do, she worked her ass off, they had a vision and a goal and they stuck to it. They didn't have to save the world, attend every conference, spend two weeks in Vancouver making up for acting like an asshole to his mother and have to deal with poachers threatening the lives of everyone they loved. You sat here and asked me to take on extra clients when you bothered to pay attention to our finances a few weeks ago. Those two horses are part of that. I made weekend arrangements because you were supposed to be working extra shifts, my cancelling because of your ever shifting priorities isn't fair to my clients. You get your wish, you play with Lyndy and I'll work."
"You think I would do that ?"
"Think you would do what Ty, grab a bunch of savings and go play pool or buy a promising horse, maybe a race car ? Gamble your future away to make a point ? Where would I ever get that idea ?"
"Amy I've changed, I'm not that guy anymore."
"I'm sorry Ty, I don't think you've changed as much as I actually thought you had. You abandoned me in Mongolia and ran off to chase a poacher who tried to kill you then chased you to this loft and left a gift of bones as a threat to my daughter. And once you realized what was going on you left to face him on your own. What change am I actually supposed to be seeing Ty ?"
"Look, I apologized for that, I was scared."
"I'm still scared, every sound, every rattle. You want to know why I wouldn't come up when the bulb was out, it's because I'm terrified and there's still no god damned door on my loft. I lay here when you're off wherever the hell the winds take you and jump at every sound."
"He's in jail Amy, it's over."
"That list contained hundreds of names Ty, he may have had partners and one day he'll get out of jail."
"I won't let anything happen to you two Amy, I promise."
"You can't make that promise Ty, we've already established that, you can't even take care of yourself, can we just drop this, I need to sleep."
"Can't take care of myself ?"
"We just passed the anniversary of your death Ty, your death." She whispered and shuddered. "No one said anything, they probably didn't even realize it but I did. I relived every second of that time, over and over again. Calling because I had a bad feeling. Your telling me that you're fine, nothing to worry about. Bob calling me and telling me that you weren't coming home, that you've been lying to me, that you'd been sick for weeks. You died and I was 8 months pregnant and you haven't changed at all, not one bit. You met that guy you know was dangerous, you knew he had a gun and worst of all you left us all here defenseless without a clue."
"This isn't fair Amy, you told me to go do all of those things, some are dangerous and I didn't want you to worry about me having the flu."
"You want me to tell you what instead Ty ? You want me to tell you that you shouldn't follow your heart, build on your accomplishments, you want me to hold you back, have you squander your successes and make you feel guilty for succeeding ? Is that what you want, to look at me with regrets in your eyes, that I kept you from fame and glory that I wanted you to be that same guy who I fell in love with all those years ago ? Are those the words you want to hear ? And it wasn't the flu, you'd been repeatedly bitten by ticks, you're vets, you couldn't put two and two together, you chose Ty "
"That's not fair." Ty whispered.
"None of it's fair, I told you to go, I have no right to feel this way and yet that's where we are now. I love you Ty, don't ever doubt that."
They lay quietly, Ty knew she was crying and held her close, how could he not know she felt this way. He thought back to those times she'd jolted awake sweating when he held her and told her everything would be Ok and that he was fine and it was over. He was aghast when he thought about those times when he wasn't there to hold and comfort her. Those times when she had no idea where he was. Had his being sick affected her that much ? He thought the poaching thing was over. He'd apologized and picked a door and framing that he did plan on getting up.
Amy shifted onto her back and shrugged him off unconsciously as she snuggled into her pillow. She had fallen asleep in his arms and now he lay back alongside her staring at the ceiling. She really dug deep this time but he had said those same words to Jack. I would never do anything to hold her back. It was just the high end jumping world at the time. She had changed and he needed to know that she still shared his dream. Yes, it went on too long but she chose. The dream, their dream, the most important partnership. What was the last horse they rescued, was it really Buddy. Is Chance considered a rescue ?
They bought a property. Of course she worked 60 – 70 hours a week, soon after he went to Mongolia, she negotiated a raise and then a percentage of her overtime work in excess of her salary when the baby was born. Scott had no choice, he agreed. She embraced the opportunity. She worked her ass off. Caleb did well on the circuit, worked for Tim and apparently moved stock when a deal arose. They had a dream and stuck to it, he hadn't really paid attention.
He heard her before he saw her standing in the crib. Smiling he went over and picked her up. After hugging her for a second he laid her back down.
"No"
"Yes Lyndy, it's bedtime."
"No."
"Ok, let's sit on the couch over here for a little while until you're tired again."
Ty pushed some stuffed toys out of the way and sat down. Lyndy immediately moved to stand up on his knees, a game they played, her balance was getting much better. You're going to need a bed soon he thought smiling at her. He looked around after she sat back down and he handed her a stuffed animal. Not going to fit a bed in here.
He reached over and opened the laptop then clicked on their financial accounts program. Looking back at the numbers he sighed, the loft and furniture really wan't that bad. Amy had wanted to build an expansion then and two bedrooms but there was blowback for that so they shelved it. His last tuition payment. They did well the first year and then Amy got pregnant which came with expenses for sure. Mongolia next, her salary went down and his went to zero. Scott had offered a draw against future earnings and Amy refused, she also adamantly insisted on paying her ranch share. His sickness wasn't cheap either, the family flew in a specialist. Margo and the classes, by then she had really stopped working, the baby and his decision for a 6 month pat leave even with the benefit, the truck. Then he went to BC, their cost, Vancouver, their cost, the last conference, part their cost. She worked as much as she could alongside working with Flame and then they switched to Phoenix and her salary dropped again. Then he scanned down the client names, Stanton, Westfield, Stillman, Westfield. Two Ahmeds, internet bloggers and lies and Lisa and her cloned horse. And of course under her coaching Georgie just won the Fall Finale. Wow.
And of all things I just bought Jack a longhorn, in a convoluted way. Ty took a deep breath.
Lyndy was nodding and Ty laid her back down after checking her diaper.
After laying down himself and then realizing that he still couldn't sleep he got up again and walked over to the laptop. He called up the browser and logged into the local hardware giant, checked stock on several items he had placed in a hold bin months prior, bought the order and arranged that it be held at the loading dock for a morning pick up. He'd need Amy's or Jack's truck and some help when he got back but he was getting that door started.
Satisfied he returned to bed and noticed a text on his phone.
"Bob – Nature Preserve: Hey Ty, Jason's coming in from BC tomorrow and wants to meet, says it's important."
"Ty – Heartland: Sorry, busy tomorrow."
"Bob – Nature Preserve: Oh you're up, he's staying over how about Monday."
"Ty – Heartland: Sorry Bob, Busy Monday too. Not interested."
"Bob – Nature Preserve: You don't even know what he's coming about and he says it's important.
"Ty - Heartland: Look dude, whatever it is, you go, the clinic will watch the preserve, I'm done."
"Bob – Nature Preserve: Amy put her foot down ?"
"Ty – Heartland: No Bob, Amy would never do that. Goodnight Bob"
Ty turned off his phone, dropped it into the charger and lay back down. He took a deep breath, looked over at Amy and closed his eyes.
THE END.