Given Up

I don't know what to think of this. I just started typing and this was the end result.

It's a bit depressing.

My Insides all turn to ash

So slow

And blow away as I collapsed

So cold

My eyes leaked no tears and yet I shook – shook by the knowledge that my very existence – my very reason for being – had vanished. It had happened all so fast – one minute, I was overcome by hatred – harsh words leaving my lips in a fit of rage – and the next – a mighty crash resounded through the car as it plummeted into the murky depths of the river.

I was the only one to survive.

My mother, father and brother were not as lucky as I – they died on impact.

I wept at their graves, begging for forgiveness I knew I would never receive. Deep down, I knew I deserved everything I got. This feeling from within, eating me up from the inside like a plague – a flesh eating monster called self-loathing.

'Your parents loved you' they all said to me. I try to hide my bitter laugh at their words. How wrong they were. If love was what they felt for me, why did they leave? Left me alone in this cold, dark world.

Alone.

I should have died with them.

God knows, I tried.

Nothing worked.

I was forever cursed to live this damned life.

Day after fucking day.

"I'm sorry," I say for the umpteenth time as I caress my mother's grave.

She never answered.

Never cared?

Not even in a dream did she come to me – I was slowly beginning to forget her laugh, smile, smell – even her frown; the way her brows used to furrow in dismay – her nose scrunching up as if smelling an off smell.

Memories were fading fast – it was as if all the happy times were sucked away into a black hole and all that was left was the bad – the inescapable guilt and hatred for myself for taking them away.

It was them they all loved – not me – never me – not ever.

If I died, no one would take notice. There would be no obituary in the newspaper – no touching poem – no mourners at my funeral. Would I even have a funeral? Or would my corpse rot in a forgotten corner of my home for days – weeks – months?

I shivered.

Death was welcoming and unwelcoming simultaneously. Death's arms were wide open, ready to pull me in, yet hesitant to do so. Death was light and dark – my saviour and my destroyer.

Even if I did die – I wouldn't be sent to where they were.

No – my seat was reserved down under – and no, I don't mean Australia.

I looked up at the twilit sky and sighed as I breathed in the cool air. The simple inhalations and exhalations were the only indication to me being alive these days.

The rest of me was dead.

My eyes were cold – empty – emotionless.

I used to be the life and soul of any party – I used to be fun. But that was no more. It seemed like a lifetime ago. I was a shadow of my former self.

I had pushed my friends away – again, again, and again, they kept trying to push through my barriers and I would never let them through. They couldn't see the worthless person I'd become – A shell encasing an empty being.

I was a cancer – being close to me only brought pain and suffering. I gave them an out.

They'd thank me one day.

I didn't deserve them.

...

Damon Salvatore watched the girl in curiosity. He was intrigued by her – drawn in.

There was something about her that lured him in. Called to him.

Hearing her quiet sobs – watching her tiny frame shake did something to him – awakened something – a something he just couldn't put his finger on.

Damon was determined to find out, and when he wanted something, he'd get it.

He went in for a closer look.

...

Thick fog settled into the once graveyard, creating an eerie atmosphere. The once peaceful looking trees now had an element of darkness to them; the branches now looked like sharp talons, ready to strike at will.

A crow cawed in the distance and I turned to the sound. It was as if I'd been transported into a Hitchcock movie – it was all so cliché.

The crow disappeared into the night sky and I watched for a moment before I turned back and collided into a man. My hands instinctually rose and rested on his chest at the surprise. I couldn't help but notice how firm it was under my fingertips I stopped myself from caressing his chest.

I looked up to his eyes. He tilted his head and smirked.

I was not afraid.

After a second longer, I realised what I was doing - touching his chest as if in a romance novel. Mentally screaming at myself, I pulled myself together and took a quick step back.

I glared at him - my eyes cold and hard, yet alight with anger.

"I can take it all away," the man said cryptically. Simply. "The pain."

I shook my head slowly and rolled my eyes. "Can you, now?" I said sarcastically.

I couldn't believe it! A drug dealer praying on the weak – this was my lucky day. I'd never taken drugs before but knew it would make me forget – At least for a little while.

The man offered his hand out, palm side up - waiting for me to take his hand. I stared at his hand then looked back into his eyes.

The fog cleared and I noticed the colour – it was the bluest of blue.

It drew me in. Completely.

I took his hand and he slowly and sensually brought it up to kiss my knuckles.

My knees shook at the contact of his lingering kiss and our eyes met. Seeking an unspoken approval, he slowly lifted his head and met me in a deep kiss. I did nothing but play along – tentative at first, but growing needier – more passionate.

He made me forget.

His touch, his tongue, and his lips took me away from everything and all there was – was this moment.

The man snaked his arms around me and held my back, leaning me back and holding me. His lips moved from my lips to my neck and my head fell back in ecstasy – my eyes rolled at the back of my head at the heavenly sensations he created.

He had a talented tongue.

He licked and gently bit my neck and I felt myself getting ready for him. My need for him grew with every second he was on my skin. I melted into him and moaned as I lifted my leg up to stroke between his legs. He growled against my skin before doing something I never expected.

He bit me. Hard.

My eyes bulged in my sockets and I tried to fight against him but to not avail - he held me tight. One hand held me up, while the other pressed against my mouth, mumbling my desperate screams.

I bit his palm, but it only spurred him on.

I struggled until I could struggle no more. I felt myself growing weak, my vision blurred and I saw him – death – he greeted me like an old friend and I smiled.

Take me away from this cruel place. Take me anywhere but here.

Death soothed me as I fell deeper and deeper into a vortex – spiralling me into darkness like Alice into the hole – except with me, there wasn't a Wonderland waiting on the other side.

It was over – I lost consciousness and fell to the ground

...

Damon drank her – hungrily – savagely.

He could feel the last ounces of life being stolen from her - taken from her warm body and transferred into his own.

He heard her stuttering heart – she had long gone unconscious and Damon removed his hand from her mouth and held her harder against him.

Her body was something else. He wanted her – craved her body almost as much as he craved her blood.

He would do as promised and would take her pain away.

He turned her.

Detaching his fangs from her mauled neck, Damon ripped his wrist open with his fangs and placed it against her wound.

"You're mine," Damon whispered in her ear before he snapped her neck.

He laid her on the soft grass and smoothed her hair as he waited – waited for her rebirth.

...

I woke up to those eyes.

It wasn't a dream. My head rested on his lap as he sat. His finger lightly circled patterns on my bare arm.

I slowly raised myself to sit up and look at him.

"What did you do?"

"Killed you," he answered nonchalantly.

I shook my head. "Did you drug me?"

He smirked. "I only gave what you asked for."

I'd had enough – I got up onto my feet and stared down at him.

" - and what was that?"

"I ended your suffering."

"Yeah, well. You fucked up. I still feel the pain!"

He smirked. "Not for long. Come with me," he said. His voice was hypnotising and I obeyed.

I was intrigued. I had no care for my personal safety – I just didn't care. I could not return home and no one would notice – it was as simple as that.

He walked away and I look back to the three gravestones.

I laid the three flowers upon each gravestone before I brought my fingers to my lips, kissing gently then touching each stone. I said a silent goodbye and a tear escaped before I followed the man into the unknown.

There was nothing here for me anyway.

Everything I'd once known was lost.

"I'm Damon."

"Elena," I said.

We walked side by side and disappeared into the night.

A black wind took them away

From sight

And now darkness over day

That night

I think this works well as a one-shot, or if I wanted, it could be a multi-chapter. It depends on whether people actually like it.