It's been ages since I last wrote, but I recently read all the heartwarming feedback and support for the previous story I wrote so I decided to write this as a thank you for all writers, fans and anyone else who still believes in love and romance.
In particular, I dedicate this to Alicia Blade and Princess Destiny and all other fanfiction authors who make this world a brighter, happier place.
This is a songfic set to the amazing Celine Dion's classic – listen to the song before or while reading this for extra "atmosphere".
I don't own Gundam Wing – I just love it.
Update 23 August 2013: thanks to Mr Goody Two Shoes for pointing out some helpful feedback, I have edited this story to ensure that no copyright infringement occurs.
XOXO
"To Love You More"
A.C.200
"All right everybody, please clear the dancefloor and make way for the bride and groom as they dance their first waltz as a married couple ..."
The dashing groom led his beautiful bride towards the middle of the ballroom. As they looked into each other's eyes, they could see the past 5 years and the next 50, even 100 years flash in front of them - years full of love and tears and waiting through the prism of hope that sprang eternal. The orchestra started to play the bridal song - their song - as a clear voice soared above the violins and starting to sing those immortal lyrics (in bold italicised text)...
A.C. 199
Vice Foreign Minister Darlian surveyed herself in the long mirror, looking every inch the honorary Queen of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation that she has been for the last three years.
Three years since she last saw him. Held him. Touched him.
Kissed him.
And loved him.
Tonight was the annual gala ball to celebrate her birthday. She really would have preferred to celebrate quietly, but the people really looked forward to a chance to celebrate the fragile peace that seemed to be embodied in their youthful, intelligent, beautiful and courageous Queen.
And they spared no expense in toasting another year that she can add to her benevolent rule.
She was especially touched when a big white box arrived via special despatch two weeks before her birthday. Of course, the ever-reliable and alert Preventers scanned, x-rayed, and quarantined the suspicious delivery (they would have had fumigated it too if she did not step in and strongly suggested that common sense prevail) before being opened to reveal a most elegant ivory French lace evening gown that was her exact fit. The gift was accompanied with a DVD from the grateful citizens in the Colonies who expressed regret at not being able to attend the gala ball but would be delighted if the Minister bestowed them the honour of wearing the gown which all citizens had contributed to.
And tonight, she would do them just that honour. She had already instructed the official court photographer to ensure that he took enough photos of her in the gown to fill an entire photo album which she would send together with a thank you card.
Of course, there was one person hoped would see how she looked tonight.
And take her in his arms again.
With a sigh, she turned away from the mirror to head to the party.
Tonight, memories were all she had.
And just like the previous years, they would be enough.
A.C. 196
"Please stay?"
Heero turned around at the quiet voice that whispered in the wind. Standing outside the Peacecraft mansion in the fading light of an autumn dusk, he cut a striking silhouette against the evening sky as he locked eyes with the golden-haired beauty standing in front of him.
Her violet eyes held unshed tears, the urgent pleading hidden in her plaintive question.
Please stay here. With me.
I need you.
I love you.
He had fought countless battles, endured countless hardships, killed countless men. And yet he never found his courage to be wavering until now, when she was this close.
This sad.
This beautiful.
And yet, he had to go.
Not because he did not love her – God, he loved her more than life itself. More than his own life.
Not because there was someone else – there was never, could never be anyone else.
He had to go because to stay meant to be in the way. Of her career, her safety, and her future.
It had been a few days since the whole Mariemaia coup finished. Everything was still a blur – the hospital, the fortress, the inquiry, and endless interviews and meetings with the Preventers. He had seen little of Relena, who was in high demand to provide speeches and television interviews to restore the shaken faith of Earth and Colony citizens that peace has once more been attained.
He had been asked to guard her during this difficult period, and whilst he automatically accepted the mission, he knew he could not stay with her for much longer.
So he asked for a transfer to the Colonies which Colonel Une reluctantly approved. He would take up a new position as Deputy Commander of the Forces in the colonies.
And told Relena that afternoon that he was leaving for space tonight.
"Please stay a little longer?" she asked him, more quietly now.
He knew that she loved him; and oh! How he wished she could see how much he loved her too! But he was willing to sacrifice everything he had so that she could remain pure, untainted by any association with a killing machine that was him.
He remembered that fateful day when for the most fleeting of moments he followed his emotions. She looked then as she had looked now, bravely trying to put on a smile, asking him to let her care for him. Her eyes – her voice – he could never deny her. One quick movement, the ocean roaring in his ears, he placed the lighted of kisses on her soft lips.
But then, immediately afterwards, he put his feelings to one side and put on the mask of sacrifice, riding into battle once more.
And he would be doing it all over again tonight.
And so he turned slowly back towards the setting sun, hoping that she wouldn't see how he was struggling to contain his emotions. One more sigh – one tear – and he would have crumbled and held her tight in his arms, never letting go.
As he turned his back to her, Relena felt like her heart had stopped beating.
He wouldn't stay. Here. With her. For her.
Was there someone else? She was not so selfish as to realise that you cannot force someone to love you. Wasn't there a clichéd song that preached "if you really love someone, you got to set them free?"
If there was, she didn't want to know.
On second thought, she did want to know. Knowing was better than the agony of nights and days imagining someone else in his arms – someone who was able to give him what she couldn't.
If he only knew that she would give everything – everything – to spend the rest of her life with him, she would have done so without a second thought.
But she didn't want him to stay out of a sense of loyalty or obligation to her. She knew that if she had told him exactly what she had longed to say to his face – "I love you" – even if he didn't feel the same way, he would stay.
Would he?
His silence was his answer.
He cannot, would not stay. He does not feel the same way, she thought sadly. There was nothing she could do, as she realised that his heart was not hers to keep – and he wouldn't be hanging around waiting for her.
She, on the other hand, would be waiting for him. Even if it took years – a lifetime – she would wait. After all, he would take her heart with him when he left.
Even if he loved someone else. In fact, there had to be someone else.
She would be heartbroken, but she would be courageous.
She would not ask – she did not want to place him in an impossible position where he would be forced to reveal something he obviously did not see fit to volunteer readily.
Wordlessly, silently, she turned around and walked away from the stoic figure in the shadows. She walked away – but she will stay here until he came back.
If she only saw the heartbreak in his eyes as he followed her retreating back.
A.C. 199
"In other news tonight, the Vice Foreign Minister Darlian visited an orphanage in the L1 colony as part of her Colonies Tour. Minister Darlian chose to celebrate her birthday with a party hosted by the orphans, one of whom presented her with a teddy bear which drew tears to the eyes of the beautiful politician. Tonight there will be a ball in her honour …"
Duo turned off the television whilst checking his watch. Colonel Une of the Preventers asked him to be on bodyguard duty tonight and he was hardly going to say no. He had not seen Relena for a few months since the Earth summit so he was looking forward to seeing her again – not to mention the handsome compensation that the Preventers job offered.
Besides, he was fairly sure someone else would be there tonight and would be doing all the "bodyguard" work. He really was redundant – but he would be getting paid well for looking pretty in his tuxedo.
And for having access to the bar tab.
And checking out the other fair guests.
He was waiting in the living room of the expansive hotel suite where Minister Darlian was staying that evening, waiting for her to get ready before he could walk her down to the ballroom of the hotel where the party was being held that evening.
As she emerged from her bedroom wearing a simple but elegant ivory gown, he thought she looked like an angel. Not that he had romantic feelings for her – his heart belonged to Hilde – but he appreciated the quiet dignified beauty that was standing in front of him with a smile in her lips which alas never seemed to reach her eyes anymore.
"You look amazing tonight, Princess!" With an exaggerated bow, he complimented the golden-haired angel.
"Oh Duo it's so good to see you! I'd love to give you a hug if it wouldn't crush your tuxedo!"
"Nah, no one is there to look at me – I would give you the huge-est hug if it wouldn't crush your gown!"
"I wouldn't mind crushing my gown – although Pagan did spend hours ironing every little seam so perhaps I will just telephatically convey my hug to you lest I break his heart!"
Silvery laughter escaped from her lips now and Duo was pleased to hear it.
"By the way, that was a gorgeous teddy bear that the little boy gave you today at the orphanage – you know that Heero once stayed there in his youth and that he now returns there regularly to spend time with the kids?"
Relena froze for a few seconds as the braided ex-Gundam Pilot nonchalantly stuck his hands in his pockets while the question emerged from his lips. She was dumbstruck when the boy produced the teddy bear and silently hoped that it was a gift from Heero, but the children assured her that they had planned her gift for months and got up to all sorts of fundraising activities in order to afford the teddy bear. So it wasn't from him then? But what was Duo saying?
"Oh my, look at the time – we're going to be late! Let's go, Princess, and get the party started!" Duo glibly steered the conversation and the Minister towards a less confronting topic.
His keen eyes noticed the hungry look in her eyes when he said the name of his ex-comrade. He knew where the teddy bear came from – and he could never understand why he didn't just show her how much he loved her and saved both of them the heartbreak they each suffered in silence. Instead, Heero resorted to bribing the entire orphanage with a month's supply of candies – and a new library (Heero had the money, lots of money now after a few years of "consultancy" services for the ESUN) – to pull off that birthday stunt, and made sure the little boy remembered the carefully rehearsed story to hide the fact that the gift to her was from him. Unfortunately, Heero forgot that Duo had friends in orphanages throughout the colonies, and it wasn't long before Duo was onto Heero's case.
Love really does make fools out of every one of us, Duo sighed ruefully as he called up his old partner when news of the upcoming birthday surprise reached his ears, and told the taciturn ex-Wing Zero pilot that she really would appreciate it if he just gave her the gift in person. And better yet, tell her that he loved her.
Of course, Heero responded in his usual courteous manner. By hanging up the phone without replying to Duo's tirade.
But Duo knew better. He knew he wouldn't be able to pass the chance to see her tonight, and even if Duo knew he was taking his life in his hands that night, he fortified himself with the thought that after tonight, with a little luck on the side, Heero would threaten to kill him – before asking him to be the best man.
After all, the God of Death namesake assured himself as he glanced at the hallway mirrors while trailing the Minister en route to the ball, he really did look good in a tuxedo. Particularly in formal events. Especially weddings.
...
The ballroom was dressed to the nines, with the colonies exerting a united effort to give Minister Darlian a party to remember.
After the usual rounds of speeches, toasts and small talk, the master of ceremonies for the evening ascended the podium and announced that it was time to hit the dancefloor, and would the birthday girl honour them with the first waltz?
Relena did not mind parties – she was brought up by parents for whom parties were almost a daily routine. As a politician, she appreciated that parties, in the right hands and for the right reasons, were effective tools towards greater good.
Such as negotiating world peace.
But did she enjoy parties? Heck, when was the last time she enjoyed anything? She couldn't remember.
Her adoptive mother's words came back to her in a fog …."Relena is such a quiet, reserved girl who keeps to herself …I wish she would be more outgoing…"
She lied. She did enjoy a party once, a long time ago. A lifetime ago.
He came dressed in a sharp suit, looking so achingly handsome that all her other schoolmates swooned. And then they danced – time and music and other people forgotten as he held her in his arms and for a fleeting moment in time opened her eyes to new feelings, new emotions that she never felt before.
Through the Eve wars, through the whole Dekim Barton saga, she became more vocal, more outgoing, more alive.
And just when she thought she could see a future life of noble purpose for her, after peace had once more been secured, when she thought he would be there to enjoy the peace he and his friends had fought – and died – for, he walked away from it all.
Away from her.
And he never came back for the dance that he still owed her.
A round of applause woke her from her reverie, when she realised that the guests were waiting expectantly for her to arise and move to the centre of the ballroom and dance the obligatory first waltz. She was used to being the centre of attention by now and looked around for her nominated "waltz partner" this year. Apparently it was one of the prizes at the annual Preventers fundraising event which attracted intense bidding from the faithful men and women in the force. She was more than happy to support the worthy cause. Last year, it was a young red-haired cadet who was backed by Dorothy's purse that won the prize. Before that, it was Noin – much to Relena's surprise and Zech's satisfaction (Zechs put Noin to it as he couldn't stand the lovestruck, starstruck and awestruck pimpled teenagers that comprised the undergraduate retinue of the military academy bidding over his sister. Of course, after the party Relena told him off for the pathetic excuse and banned him from participating directly or indirectly in future auctions for her birthday waltz).
"May I have this dance?"
Relena looked to her left – then to her right – and finally down, where a little boy – the same boy that gave her the teddy bear earlier that day – was extending his hand towards her. She gave him a dazzling smile while taking his hand and allowed him to lead her to the dancefloor. Of course, she was puzzled as to how on earth the boy managed to win the bidding, but she assumed that one of the Preventers (most likely Quatre) organised for this rare honour to be bestowed on the boy.
...
He stood hidden in the shadows, scanning the ballroom intently throughout the evening. He wore a new tuxedo to blend in with the guests, but one look at his posture, erect bearing and alert gaze and anyone was in no doubt that he was – is – a military creature. His whole visage assumed an impassive face until she entered the ballroom at the start of the evening. Then the faintest flush coloured his cheeks.
She was beautiful. The gown was perfect – of course, he arranged for a little group of old ladies to mysteriously receive a large bequest to revive their French town's celebrated lacemaking techniques which had been in danger of disappearing due to the new factory-made imitations that they could not compete with. He also ensured that a suggestion was put to the grateful women that a most appropriate token to celebrate the revival of their town's heritage was a gift for the Minister Darlian's upcoming birthday ball – not to mention the immense publicity it will generate for their little town as soon as the fashion editors found out where the lace came from.
He found it impossible to keep his eyes off her the whole evening. For three years he dreamt of her every night and every day. He would have given everything to have been the one standing next to her that evening, giving the first toast, dancing her first waltz tonight. The last three years had made him realise that he actually wanted to show her how much he loved her. He wanted to show the world how much he loved her.
She was everything he needed, but did she still feel the same way?
Was it too late for him?
Why was he even here tonight?
Because you couldn't stay away – any longer, his conscience (did he still have one?) whispered in his mind.
He was roused from his inner monologue by the "aws" coming from the guests as Relena was led to the dancefloor by a very young gentleman. With a start, he realised that it was the same boy – Matthew – that he organised to give Relena the teddy bear that morning. His eyes narrowed as his brain swiftly calculated the person most likely to have set this whole thing up. And only one name came to mind.
"Duo, what on earth is the meaning of this?"
Duo rolled his eyes, briefly admiring how the Perfect Soldier has not lost his keen senses even after all these years. He had thought of sneaking up on Heero but as usual, Heero already knew his presence. Oh well, it's now or never …"I don't know what you're talking about," he started to bluff, only to be silenced with an icy glare from the dark-haired Pilot.
Who started to move his right hand into his left pocket, where his gun usually lay hidden under the jacket.
Bloody hell, what is taking Matthew so long? Duo silently fumed as he held the gaze of his former team mate and technically his boss. I really want to live a few more – okay, a lot more years – and Heero looks awfully scary right now …..
The orchestra started to strike up the opening notes of the waltz but to everyone – including Relena's astonishment, her erstwhile escort suddenly ran to the podium, grabbed the microphone and in a plaintive voice, started to make a speech.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," he commenced, "my name is Matthew and I would like to give Minister Darlian a special birthday present".
A round of applause arose from the guests. Relena thought he was the sweetest little darling and the faintest puzzlement began to show on her face. "But sweetheart, you already gave me a beautiful present earlier today ….." she called out to the boy who, while clearly nervous, looked like he was about to burst with some amazing secret.
"….It would be my great honour to dance with you tonight, your Highness, however there is someone else who needs to greet you a happy birthday ….." suddenly Matthew darted to the shadowy pillar just behind the orchestra stand and started pulling on a suited man. The spotlight, which previously illuminated the Minister on the dancefloor, now swung to shine full beam on the person that Matthew was drawing from the shadows.
...
His heart stopped.
Her heart stopped.
Matthew yanked with all his might.
And Duo, after making the sign of the cross, gave Heero an almighty push into the open dancefloor.
Directly in her line of sight.
And in full view of 800 other guests, whose shocked – then slowly smiling – faces showed their breathless anticipation of what could – should happen next.
The seconds ticked by as they stood gaping at each other. No one dared take the first step, utter the first word.
So Matthew swallowed his stage fright one more time and went to the microphone again.
"Happy Birthday, Ms Relena! Uncle Duo told me this gentleman owed you a dance and needs to ask you something. By the way, the ring is in his left pocket." After which Matthew shot across to the safety of the shadows where the Deathscythe pilot gave him a high five – then hoisted him onto his shoulders to see the final act of the waltz that had been going for the last three years.
...
She stood frozen on the spot after Matthew – oh what an adorable, a brave and adorable boy – just revealed to the whole world her long cherished secret. Her eyes started to cloud with tears when Heero briefly closed his eyes, squared his shoulders, then started walking towards her.
Her heart caught in her throat as his hand started to reach for his pocket.
His left pocket.
The whole ballroom was hushed in silence, every guest instinctively feeling that they were witnessing an extraordinary moment in history. She didn't – couldn't breathe, as he stopped directly in front of her, slowly pulled his hand out of his pocket, and produced a stunning solitaire diamond ring.
"Happy birthday, Relena," he whispered, willing his nerves not to fail him now, "please accept my humble gift …..." as he gazed deep into those violet orbs he'd dreamed of every night for the last three years. "I wanted to wait until I was able to give you something that was worthy of you. I'm sorry if it took me this long, but I wanted to make sure I was finally worthy of you. All I have, I'm offering to you tonight …"
Time stood still as she shifted her gaze from his Prussian eyes to the glittering jewel held in his hand, slowly absorbing the hidden question in his request. She knew that he was not just offering her a ring as a birthday present – he was also offering his heart, his life, his love. His everything.
She turned her gaze once more to the face she had loved since the day she saw him washed up on the beach. Then, he just had the determined look of a soldier about to carry out a mission. Tonight, his face was still serious, but there was something else in those midnight eyes – the faintest glimmer of hope, fear, love and sorrow all clashing in their depths.
Eyes now dimming with tears, she made a barely perceptible nod of her head. His eyes took on an ethereal look as he took her left hand and slid the ring into her fourth finger, before gathering her into his arms and sealing their love with a kiss.
The whole ballroom burst into applause, with cheers and whistles only punctuated by the incessant fist-pumping and roars of exclamations from the two partners in crime, Duo and Matthew.
Relena barely heard the commotion around her, all she could hear was her heart – and his heart – beating as one.
For Heero and Relena, the wait was over.
…...
EPILOGUE
"So, one time, Heero and I were on this mission, and he would not listen to my advice ….." Duo was in full flight, giving the best man's speech and toast at the wedding of the decade.
Heero groaned inwardly as he knew this would not be a polite 5 minute speech. More likely 50 minutes of torture. Relena, however, sat listening in rapt attention, eager to hear the dirt on her new husband.
Oh well, he could always go back and rig up a prank on the braided American later. Much later though, as he still had his honeymoon to look forward to.
A small tug at his hand drew him back to reality. It was from the gorgeous ringbearer who looked up at him with adoring eyes.
"…..don't worry, just a few more minutes then you can sweep her off into the sunset and go on your honeymoon!" With a conspiratory wink, Matthew made the stoic pilot blush a deep red. Since when did six year olds start talking like old uncles at weddings?
"Now, Matthew Darlian Yuy, I expect you to behave in Uncle Duo and Aunt Hilde's company," Heero started to remind his adopted son. Of course, after that birthday gala, Relena fell head over heels in love with the boy and insisted on adopting him. Which, to her great surprise, Heero had already started working on even before her birthday. That day's ceremony was just a formality in making the boy a part of their family.
"Aw Dad, I promise I'll behave!" Matthew started putting his three fingers together in a scout's honour sign.
On second thought, maybe it was a bad idea to leave him in Duo's care when we're away. Perhaps Trowa or Quatre could be persuaded to take him at the last minute? Heero pondered.
He was startled when an angelic voice whispered in his ear "Darling, don't even think of sending him to Trowa or Quatre or anywhere else – he'll be fine with Duo. He's still young and innocent and I'm sure Duo and Hilde won't do anything to corrupt him. Okay, maybe that's technically not true, but let's just say that he won't be worse off than if he was going to spend the next few weeks with us."
With a wink, Relena stood up and started heading to the dancefloor, Matthew in tow.
I love weddings, Heero quietly murmured with a smirk, as he admired his beautiful bride whilst sipping on a flute of champagne.
And I especially love honeymoons.
THE END!!