Burns and Bullet Holes : Royai Angst Collecition

Author: MoonStarDutchess

Story 1: A Disease Called Man

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit from this fanfiction other than writing practice.

AN: This was originally posted as an M rated oneshot before the site got strict on the rating and I had to take it down. If you'd like to see the MA rated one, though it's not extremely detailed, it's available on archive of our own (AO3) under the same username I use on here.

"The world is beautiful, but has a disease called man." – Friedrich Nietzche

Roy sat upon a sand dune that overlooked the city of Ishbal that resided in the small annexed country of the same name. The war was now over and the soldiers that were recently sent to the devastated country were now responsible for the "cleaning up".

An explosion sounded in the distance and it was followed by several gunshots. He cringed and focused on the horizon. His stomach twitched when he heard another explosion and saw a fourth plume of smoke rise into the sunset painted sky. Each plume looked like small tornadoes whipping into the air, tainting it with the smell of burning flesh and moldy wood of flame stricken buildings.

The plumes evanesced into the air, making the sky appear like something only a benevolent omnipotent being could create. Of course, Roy knew the cause was scientific in nature. The fact this massacre even happened was evidence enough that there was no higher power like so many cultures claimed. If the Ishbalian god was there and loved his people, the army would've been struck down when the first soldier stepped foot in the country.

The cause of everything in the world was a disease by the name of man. Both good and bad occurred because of the choices human beings made. Those choices came depending on the way one was born and raised. The good or bad depended on things such as chemicals in the body and nurture.

Man was a disease that slowly developed through millions of years of evolution, just as a disease developed within the human body. Both slowly formed, adapted, created, and then inevitably destroyed.

He personified the world as a human with a bunch of deadly organisms within it that would eventually kill it, and in the process, kill each other. And he was one of the worst of those organisms. What made things so much worse was that the woman he thought of as a cure in the world, turned out to be just as horribly malignant as he was.

Seeing her there in that dusty hell, with that diseased look in her eyes, and that stench of blood on her hands, made him realize they were winning: that there was no antibodies, no medicine, to counter this disease.

Roy turned, ready to snap, when he heard footsteps coming up the sand dune toward him. He lowered his hand when he saw it was the woman in his thoughts.

She was still someone that stirred longing within him. Both for her body, and for her soul.

She carried her rifle as if it was far heavier than it was, her torn cape was draped around her shoulders, and her uniform jacket was unbuttoned, revealing the figure hugging dark brown shirt she wore. Her cute face was smudged with dirty and her beautiful lips were formed into a frown, causing a small scar at the corner of them to become more noticeable. The most expressive and outstanding thing about her were her eyes. Her gorgeous eyes were void of happiness and carried the toxins of being a murderer within them. Just as his did.

"Am I interrupting your thoughts, sir?" she questioned, her voice more stoically vacuous than he remembered it being when he was an apprentice working under her father. Back when he still had those ideals that he could help the people of Amestris and change the country for the better.

"Yes, you are, but you can sit with me anyway," he said.

"It's okay, sir. I'll leav—"

"Sit down, Cadet Hawkeye."

She walked over, sat down beside him and placed her rifle beside her, but didn't relax her posture in the slightest. "I got promoted. It's Second Lieutenant."

"Congratulations," he said but didn't really mean it. She didn't sound thrilled at the prospect either. "Usually you don't get that rank until you graduate."

He stared at her for a moment before redirecting his focus back to the cityscape. The silence between them spoke more about the events than any words could.

"I was thinking about how humanity is a disease," Roy finally said, deciding that they'd had enough of the city screaming at them with explosions. "I've contributed to a small part of that disease."

Riza nodded. "So have I."

"The entire planet is diseased and there's no way to keep it from being such. Children are such a light but eventually those children will grow into toxic organisms and bring the world one-step closer to ruin. There's nothing we can do to stop it."

"I don't agree." She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them like she used to do as a young teenager.

"No?"

She shook her head. "I believe most people have a bit of good within them. An antibiotic so to speak. Especially you."

Roy turned his head toward her and looked at her quizzically. "Me?"

"You had such beautiful goals and I believed in them. I wouldn't have given you the secrets to flame alchemy if I thought of you as a disease." She kept her focus on the minacious plumes of smoke rising into the air, now less trenchant due to the darkening sky.

"But I betrayed that. I betrayed you."

"Yes, you did." There was no anger in her voice. "However, I know that you're a wonderful man. You have so much good in you . . . Mister Mustang. "

The use of that address made him smile. It harked back to a time when his ideas didn't seem like a dream of a foolish young man. The smile faded when he realized that she was still calling him good when he was anything but. How could she say those things? How could she forgive him the way she seemed to be? She had to be holding back her feelings and resisting the actions she truly wanted to take. No one could possess that much forgiveness.

"Stop it," he snapped. Her gaze darted to his, confusion evident on her expression. "Stop lying to me."

Her eyes narrowed. "What in the hell do you mean lying?"

"I'm a murderer, so why not come out and say it. Yell and tell me how angry I made you over this betrayal of your trust. Tell me how much you want to kill me. I know you do and I can't blame you so just fucking say it."

"You are a fucking murderer!" she yelled at him. She sighed and slouched, letting her legs stretch back out in front of her. Her voice returned to its normal volume. "But so am I. I'm not a liar and I'm not a hypocrite. I can't berate you for following orders with your weapons when I did the same with my own. Yes, I was angry when I first saw the way you were using flame alchemy and I even had you in my sights ready to pull the trigger. But I didn't because I still see good in you."

"You're foolish. You should've shot me."

"I don't think I am foolish at all. This war has changed me and made me more realistic now. The world isn't a place where everyone gets their happy endings. The good guys don't always win and evil isn't always vanquished. Good and evil aren't always clearly defined either. There's no such thing as black and white. We're monsters but we have the ability to change if we want to."

"Doesn't feel like it."

"No, it doesn't, but we can at least try. We can at least try to heal the world for a short while. Then it will be up to the next generation to keep it up. You could do that for this one. You could be Amestris's healer. You can still use flame alchemy for the good of the people."

"The only way I could heal this nation is to have a great position. A doctor for the country or something."

"Or a fuehrer," she said absently.

Roy laughed. "That's crazy. Completely idealistic and mad."

Riza turned to him, her eyes wide. "And you are capable of both idealism and madness."

Roy stared at her and everything seemed to click. It was a position worth working toward. "Yes, I am," he said. For the first time since he arrived in Ishbal, he gave a genuine smile. "I'm going to tell Maes about this." He stood and looked down at the most precious woman in the world. She was always the one that gave him life when things looked their bleakest. "Thank you, Riza."

When she nodded and looked ahead, Roy felt as if the temperature when down a few degrees. He would inquire about it later and go tell Maes how extremely brilliant she was. He started to turn away but froze when he heard her mutter.

"A notebook." She clearly hadn't expected him to hear.

He turned back to her. "That…I…Notebook? I remember you said that when you first showed me the secrets. What do you mean by that?"

She smiled at him and stood. "Really, it's nothing. Go talk to Hughes."

"You're sure?"

Riza nodded. He hesitantly turned and walked away from her.

-/-/-

Riza gave a sad smile as he left. It seemed that every time she went to talk with him, to gain some sort of companionship with someone she knew, he either was with Maes or eventually left to talk with Maes. She couldn't help possess a slight tinge of jealousy. She knew Maes would've welcomed her, but she just wanted some alone time with Roy.

She sat back down. Perhaps her only use really was as a notebook. Perhaps that was what he thought of her too. That and someone to lean on. If that were the case she'd be there for him as a way to redeem herself and make sure he never used flame alchemy to murder ever again.

She sat atop the dune thinking until the sun had set and the moon was casting a silvery glow around the area. No one would be able to see her there without a bright light. She'd camp there tonight rather than go back to the main camp. She had some thinking about her future to do.

But no matter what, she would help Ro—Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, in whatever he decided for his goals. Because she knew he was the only one with the capability to bring the diseased country into remission.

AN: I hope you like the start to this. If you'd like a slightly happier version, and a M rated one, then the story is on my account on Ao3. Please leave a comment if you have the time. This collection, like my comedy collection, will be updated randomly when I get ideas and or rewrite some of my old angst.