Disclaimers: The GW characters don't belong to me. Barbie and the other
shit that comes with her doesn't belong to me either.
Summary: Evil laughter Any loss of brain cells and/or brain damage is not my fault. MASSIVE OOC. No Gundam pilots were harmed in the making of this fic.
Terror in a Box
The G-Boys sneak into an Oz base. Duo looks around. There is no one in the hallways.
Duo: I have a very bad feeling about this…
Heero looks suspicious, and cocks gun. Then he looks through a half open door. Eyes widen in terror.
Heero: No…
Suddenly, five big, well-muscled guys in Oz uniforms walk up and shove the five boys into the room and shut the door. The pilots find themselves in a room full of tall, leggy, busty, narrow waisted girls with too many bright white teeth and make-up and massive quantities of hair. They're all wearing Oz uniforms as well, but the pants are cut *short* and the shirts are tied up showing off all their way-too-small waists. All of the girls in the room turn to look at the pilots. Trowa drops his gun and backs against the wall, gibbering incoherently. Duo's eyes are about the size of dinner plates. Wufei's jaw is hanging somewhere below his knees. Quatre seems to melt into a neat pile of blonde ooze. Heero is the only one who doesn't go into beauty-induced shock.
Heero screams: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! **Unloads several rounds on the roomful of girls.**
Girls giggle hysterically.
Girl 1: Stop that! It tickles!
Heero's gun runs out of bullets. He grabs Trowa's gun and shoots the girls some more. They just giggle. Trowa gets out one intelligible sentence.
Trowa: They're indestructible! Girl boxes trick cool ever never thing win way no.
Wufei: **Hooks jaw back into place and flings nice shiny dagger at a girl.** Die!
Girl 2: **Looks at dagger in her chest. And giggles** This tickles!
Wufei pales. Then pulls out sword and beheads another girl. Her head rolls across the floor giggling.
Girl 3's head: You sure are fun!
Girl 3's body: **chases after head and when she finds it, puts it back in place.**
Wufei gibbers.
Duo finally comes to his senses.
Duo: Everyone run! Let's get outta here!
He grabs Quatre's hand and drags puddle-boy out another door. The other three pilots run after them. Wufei slams door behind him. Suddenly, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette zoom past them on bikes. Then, three girls that look exactly like the first three zoom by on skateboards, followed by three more identical girls on roller blades. Off in the distance, three MORE look-alike girls are working on a bar/beam/floor routine. All of the girls appear to be around age 10. Trowa hasn't stopped gibbering yet. Quatre's brain comes back and he stops a blonde (and her redhead and brunette friends) who are walking their dogs.
Quatre: Excuse me, my name is Quatre Raberba Winner. My friends and I are lost, could you tell me where we are?
Blonde: I'm Stacy.
Redhead: I'm Whitney.
Brunette: I'm Janet.
Stacy: Well, you're here, aren't you?
Quatre: Yeah…
Stacy: So why ask. You already know where you are.
The three girls wander off. The G-boys look at each other.
Heero: There's another door over there.
The pilots run for the door. The sign on the door reads Control Room. The pilot stumble in. And stare. There isn't usually a beach in an Oz control room. The room seemed to be filled with guys with the exact same hair cut the exact same blank looks and the exact same red baywatch-type swim trunks. The only difference they could see was the hair color. One of the men saw them and strode over quickly. As he got closer, the pilots realized who he was. There was no mistaking those eyebrows.
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre & Wufei: Trieze?
Trieze: Shh! Keep it down, do you want her to hear?
Duo: Her who?
Quatre: Who her?
Trieze: Huh?
A voice calls out from a large group of men.
Voice: Trieze, bring your friends over here.
Trieze gets glazed look and herds the pilots through crowd of guys. In the middle of the group, there is one of those lawn chairs that fold back far enough for the person sitting in them to lay down. In the chair, sun- bathing (in a control room?) is a leggy, busty blonde with a too-perfect figure and a plastic smile. She looks at them with her sea-blue eyes. Duo shrinks back in horror.
Duo: Oh God. IT'S SATAN'S FEMALE COUNTER PART! Its- its-
Trowa **shriek of terror**
Wufei: **Girly scream.**
Heero: **look of horror/terror.**
Quatre: NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
G-Boys: **Wake up screaming in terror.**
Quatre looks around frantically, chanting: Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream.
Wufei hides under his covers.
Trowa gibbers.
Duo grabs a gun, pointing it wildly around the room.
Heero keeps screaming.
After about five minutes, the Gundam pilots come to their senses. The doorbell rings. Wufei answers it. No one's there, but there is a package on the front step. Wufei brings it in and he and the other pilots open it. They all scream girly screams. Looking up at them from the box is… Malibu Barbie.
Summary: Evil laughter Any loss of brain cells and/or brain damage is not my fault. MASSIVE OOC. No Gundam pilots were harmed in the making of this fic.
Terror in a Box
The G-Boys sneak into an Oz base. Duo looks around. There is no one in the hallways.
Duo: I have a very bad feeling about this…
Heero looks suspicious, and cocks gun. Then he looks through a half open door. Eyes widen in terror.
Heero: No…
Suddenly, five big, well-muscled guys in Oz uniforms walk up and shove the five boys into the room and shut the door. The pilots find themselves in a room full of tall, leggy, busty, narrow waisted girls with too many bright white teeth and make-up and massive quantities of hair. They're all wearing Oz uniforms as well, but the pants are cut *short* and the shirts are tied up showing off all their way-too-small waists. All of the girls in the room turn to look at the pilots. Trowa drops his gun and backs against the wall, gibbering incoherently. Duo's eyes are about the size of dinner plates. Wufei's jaw is hanging somewhere below his knees. Quatre seems to melt into a neat pile of blonde ooze. Heero is the only one who doesn't go into beauty-induced shock.
Heero screams: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! **Unloads several rounds on the roomful of girls.**
Girls giggle hysterically.
Girl 1: Stop that! It tickles!
Heero's gun runs out of bullets. He grabs Trowa's gun and shoots the girls some more. They just giggle. Trowa gets out one intelligible sentence.
Trowa: They're indestructible! Girl boxes trick cool ever never thing win way no.
Wufei: **Hooks jaw back into place and flings nice shiny dagger at a girl.** Die!
Girl 2: **Looks at dagger in her chest. And giggles** This tickles!
Wufei pales. Then pulls out sword and beheads another girl. Her head rolls across the floor giggling.
Girl 3's head: You sure are fun!
Girl 3's body: **chases after head and when she finds it, puts it back in place.**
Wufei gibbers.
Duo finally comes to his senses.
Duo: Everyone run! Let's get outta here!
He grabs Quatre's hand and drags puddle-boy out another door. The other three pilots run after them. Wufei slams door behind him. Suddenly, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette zoom past them on bikes. Then, three girls that look exactly like the first three zoom by on skateboards, followed by three more identical girls on roller blades. Off in the distance, three MORE look-alike girls are working on a bar/beam/floor routine. All of the girls appear to be around age 10. Trowa hasn't stopped gibbering yet. Quatre's brain comes back and he stops a blonde (and her redhead and brunette friends) who are walking their dogs.
Quatre: Excuse me, my name is Quatre Raberba Winner. My friends and I are lost, could you tell me where we are?
Blonde: I'm Stacy.
Redhead: I'm Whitney.
Brunette: I'm Janet.
Stacy: Well, you're here, aren't you?
Quatre: Yeah…
Stacy: So why ask. You already know where you are.
The three girls wander off. The G-boys look at each other.
Heero: There's another door over there.
The pilots run for the door. The sign on the door reads Control Room. The pilot stumble in. And stare. There isn't usually a beach in an Oz control room. The room seemed to be filled with guys with the exact same hair cut the exact same blank looks and the exact same red baywatch-type swim trunks. The only difference they could see was the hair color. One of the men saw them and strode over quickly. As he got closer, the pilots realized who he was. There was no mistaking those eyebrows.
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre & Wufei: Trieze?
Trieze: Shh! Keep it down, do you want her to hear?
Duo: Her who?
Quatre: Who her?
Trieze: Huh?
A voice calls out from a large group of men.
Voice: Trieze, bring your friends over here.
Trieze gets glazed look and herds the pilots through crowd of guys. In the middle of the group, there is one of those lawn chairs that fold back far enough for the person sitting in them to lay down. In the chair, sun- bathing (in a control room?) is a leggy, busty blonde with a too-perfect figure and a plastic smile. She looks at them with her sea-blue eyes. Duo shrinks back in horror.
Duo: Oh God. IT'S SATAN'S FEMALE COUNTER PART! Its- its-
Trowa **shriek of terror**
Wufei: **Girly scream.**
Heero: **look of horror/terror.**
Quatre: NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
G-Boys: **Wake up screaming in terror.**
Quatre looks around frantically, chanting: Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream.
Wufei hides under his covers.
Trowa gibbers.
Duo grabs a gun, pointing it wildly around the room.
Heero keeps screaming.
After about five minutes, the Gundam pilots come to their senses. The doorbell rings. Wufei answers it. No one's there, but there is a package on the front step. Wufei brings it in and he and the other pilots open it. They all scream girly screams. Looking up at them from the box is… Malibu Barbie.