Aishiteru, Yuichi
Kusanagi stared at the sky. Her daughter's words returned to haunt her. "Where is Yuichi?" Somehow Kusanagi couldn't tell her the truth. The words stuck in her throat. How could she tell her daughter that Yuichi was dead? Or perhaps she couldn't even acknowledge Yuichi's death herself. A month had passed since he had fallen from the sky, and Kusanagi still found it difficult to believe that Yuichi simply did not exist anymore. She found that others found it hard to believe as well; Sasakura – otherwise known as Mama by the boys – was often fresh and had a violent temper; Mitsuya cried long into the night; Tokino didn't speak and his normal obnoxious self had disappeared; even Mizuki knew something was wrong, and had remained morose and quiet since her only friend had passed away; and Kusanagi herself wouldn't smoke a single cigarette. She found herself staring at the sky late into the night, wondering why Yuichi had taken such a futile risk. He knew that the Teacher was undefeatable, so why did he fight him and get himself killed? Did he want to die?
Those questions often plagued Kusanagi as she stared at the sky that had failed her lover. Yuichi had told her many times that he loved to fly. Jinrou too had said the same thing. Kusanagi closed her eyes and remembered the men she had loved. The Teacher, who had been young then; the father of Mizuki; Kurita Jinrou, who had been an ace pilot, sincere and with a laugh that could make Kusanagi smile; and finally, Kannami Yuichi, who had the same soft face as Jinrou, and who always was there, quiet and observing. Yuichi had never laughed. He had questions for her, questions that she could not answer herself. Now Kusanagi wished that she had answered him, just to hear his voice again. Yuichi's voice had been as calm as water that ran through the streams. He had been a fearless pilot as well, and so kind, especially to the friendless Mizuki and to her. Kusanagi remembered his strong arms around her as he held her to fight the pain away. She remembered how his soft and gentle hands had caressed her hair, demanding that she must live. He hadn't shot her as she wanted. She wanted him to live this time. She couldn't bear to see him die again. But he had balked. Yuichi had told her, "You must live until you can change things." And then Kusanagi had cried.
It astonished her that she was crying now. Thick tears fell from her eyes. Suddenly, she knew why Yuichi had gone to his death. The self-sacrificing fool had fought the Teacher to kill him and to erase her pain, erase everyone's pain, and to end the cycle of death and rebirth. He fought to save others from the fate of becoming a Kildren. This realization made her cry harder.
Yuichi was willing to die for her. He should have stayed. He should have stayed, and then Kusanagi would have made him her first lieutenant. He wouldn't have to fight anymore. They would still be together, still be in love, still be able to make love, and then the cycle would stop. That day when Yuichi's plane had been shot down, she felt her lover. She felt his spirit, and when she moved to light a cigarette, she felt his hand around hers, as if signifying that she should stop. He was telling her to stop living in an illusion as he had, and live. "No matter what your choice is, I will love you forever." Then his entire existence was gone.
Yuichi… Kusanagi thought. Her mind was still on the pilot that she had loved. Kannami Yuichi… Could she say it?
"Aishiteru, Yuichi."