AN: For my dad and all the dads out there trying their hardest. Happy Father's Day
Perfect:
January 22nd
1:30 AM
The black vinyl chairs in the waiting room were uncomfortable. It was amazing that people who needed to be seen at the hospital had to wait in those chairs. Worse than the chairs, however, was the coffee. It tasted horrible. While Alex basically lived off of coffee, he wasn't sure how anyone could stand the taste of hospital coffee, especially those who had to work overnight shifts. He made a promise to himself that the next time he was here he would teach them how to brew a basic pot of coffee. Of course, he hoped that after tonight, the next time they were here was for the birth of another child and maybe by then they wouldn't need him to teach them how to brew coffee.
Alex removed his phone from his pocket to check the time and saw that it was well past midnight. He said nothing as he opened a few texts from Eliza's sisters to read them and saw that they wanted updates about their nephew's birth. He began to text them back that he didn't have anything new and that he had been banished from the delivery room for almost getting into a yelling match with the doctor.
A sigh escaped Alex's lips as he leaned back into the chair, pressing send on a text that he had just typed up to Angelica. He was happy that the waiting room in the maternity ward was nearly empty with only a few people scattered about here and there. The TV that was hanging right in front of him on the wall mount had been muted. He didn't want to be distracted if the nurse by with any news.
After texting both Peggy and Angelica, Alex opened up a new message and typed in the number he knew that belonged to his father. He had never sent him a text before, only receiving the number from his brother a few months back. Not even sure where to begin, he stared at the blank box for a while before eventually closing out, not even bothering to save the contact and typing up a new one to the group text amongst his friends, letting them know what was happening.
He would have figure out some message to send to his father but for now, he would focus on informing everyone else first.
"Mr. Hamilton?"
Alex hit send on his latest text before shoving his phone back into his pocket and looking up at the nurse, wondering what she was going to say. "What is it?" He asked, pushing himself out of the uncomfortable chair so that he was standing. "Is everything alright? Are they both okay?"
It was the first update he had received in a while and the last time he heard anything, they were both fine.
The nurse gave him a smile as she nodded her head at him. If he had to hazard a guess, she probably received this same question about a hundred times a day. "They're both alright, yes, don't worry. I just came to inform you that you're now the father of a health baby boy."
His eyes widened for a moment as he felt fear suddenly overcome him. Becoming a father had been one of his biggest fears since he was young. He feared that he would be exactly like his own father. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself. "Can I go see them?"
The nurse nodded as she led Alexander down the hallway to the room that Eliza was. Stopping at the doorway, the nurse nodded her head and gave him a smile, "This is it." She said before turning to walk back to the nurses station.
He stood there in the doorway, taking in the sight that was before him. In the hospital bed, Eliza was sitting there in her hospital gown and matching wrist band, holding the child that the two of them created and now brought into this world. Her dark bangs were sticking to her damp forehead while the rest of her hair stuck up in various spots. Her brown eyes showed that she was tired from having been in labor for eight hours before being able to deliver the baby, but she never looked more beautiful.
For the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words and seeing his wife and son made all the fears vanish as quickly as they had came.
Alex knocked once on the door before entering the room as so he wouldn't startle them. Eliza looked up at him, grinning at him from ear to ear. "Alex, come here!" She said in a soft voice. "Come meet our son."
He removed himself from the doorway and walked over to the bed before sitting on the edge near her. Leaning in, he placed a kiss on the top of her head before peering at the infant she was holding. He was swaddled in the standard hospital blanket that was issued to all infants with a light blue hat pulled over down over his head and ears to keep him warm. "He's perfect." Alex whispered as he wrapped an arm around her carefully letting his head rest against hers for a moment.
Eliza smiled at the baby as she nodded, turning her head to look at him after a moment. "Is Mom here yet?" She asked, curiously as she adjusted her hold.
Alex shook his head. "Ah, no, she said she was going to get your father from the airport and they would pick up your sisters before coming." Her father had been on a business trip and caught the last flight out when he heard that his grandchild was going to be born.
Eliza nodded. She seemed a little disappointed that they weren't there yet but she looked up at him and gave him a big smile. "Do you want to hold Philip?"
They had chosen to their son name after her father. There were a lot of names that they had been considering and even more when Angelica had shared a doc with even more names. It had been Alex to suggest that they name their son after her father, surprising Eliza. Of course, he explained that her father was a good man and why not honor him by naming their first child after him.
And after seeing his son for the first time, Alex had to admit it seemed to be the perfect name for him.
"Can I?"
Eliza let out a laugh, nodding her head. "You're his father, of course you can."
Heat rose to Alex's cheeks as he reached over to take the infant from Eliza. He took in the moment and stared down at the sleeping infant once again. A lump in his throat formed as he looked over at Eliza, hiding his face in her hair for a moment as hot tears rolled down his cheeks. He placed a kiss to the top of her head once again, pulling away to look down at Philip. "He's perfect." He was repeating himself, sure, but it was all true.
Their son was here in the world with them now and everything was perfect.
Eliza nodded, resting her head against his shoulder as she reached up to brush any tears that were still streaming down his face. "Alex?" She asked, her voice heavy with exhaustion.
"Yeah?"
"Can I sleep?"
"What? Of course, you go ahead. You did amazing today."
Eliza yawned, closing her eyes as she nodded. "Can you just wake me if my family gets here?" She asked, keeping her head there on his shoulder.
"Of course, Betsey. I promise." He whispered, letting her drift off to sleep.
Once she was asleep, Alex looked back down at the infant. It had been a long day for all of them but after seeing Philip for the first time, Alex felt like he had more energy than ever before. "Philip," Alex whispered as he reached down and brushed his thumb gently over the babe's face.
Curious dark brown eyes opened and stared up into his own. It was only for a second before Philip closed his eyes once more, falling back asleep in his father's arms. Alex smiled at the exchange that only lasted a second but felt much long, leaning in he placed a soft kiss to the hat that was pulled over Philip's forehead.
The world had seemed to stop when he was sitting there with his small family but he was brought back into reality when a different nurse knocked once on the door before entering the room. "Mr. Hamilton?"
"Yes?" He asked, not taking his eyes off his son.
"I was coming by to see if your wife was awake. There are still some things that need to be talked about such as starting a feeding routine for your son."
Alexander glanced over at Eliza who was still sleeping peacefully against his shoulder. "Can I give her five more minutes, please?" It seemed like five minutes ago that Eliza had fallen asleep and it would be cruel to wake her up now.
The nurse let out a small sigh, clearly a little annoyed by his request but Alexander didn't care. She could be annoyed all she wanted, all he wanted was little bit more peace enjoying his new family before the world had to start again. "Fine," she said after a minute of silence. "But I will be back in five minutes."
"Thank you," he nodded as she disappeared from the doorway and back down the hall.
He was going to soak up every last second of the five minutes.
A week later at home
The glow of Alex's computer was the only source of light in the dark room as Eliza was sleeping in the bed behind him with Philip off to the side in the bassinet. He was on paternity leave and had promised Eliza not to do any work on his time off but he didn't say anything about not replying to emails and had just now found a free moment to do so.
After sending his last email, Alex sighed as he opened up a new email and typed in his father's email address into the bar. He never had sent the text that he had drafted in the waiting room at the hospital and thought that now would be a good time to inform him of these major life changes that had occurred.
Dad,
I just wanted to tell you that a week ago Eliza, my wife, and I welcomed a son into our lives. While you and I haven't kept in contact since you left, I thought you would want to know about this new joy in my life. His name is Philip, we named him after her father, and he, quite frankly, is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen and the purpose that my whole life has been moving forward to.
That brings me to my question, why? Why did you leave? I know it was well over fifteen years ago but it doesn't hurt any less than when you you left.
Over the years in searching for a reason why I thought it might've been something that James or I did. If it was something with Mom, you would've came back after she passed away, right? You clearly didn't so it had to been something that James or I did, correct?
I thought I would understand you once Philip was born, but I don't. When holding him for the first time I was so full of love and pride. Did you ever feel that love when you held James or myself for the first time? I love him unconditionally and I don't think I could ever do what you did to Mom to my own family.
You don't have to answer and I don't think you will so my question will remain.
Your son,
Alexander
"Alex…?" After he typed his last few word, Alex glanced over his shoulder to see Eliza sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes. "Please come to bed, it's late."
Alex smiled at her, nodding before turning back to the computer. "I'm coming," he said as he put the email into his drafts and closing the lid to his laptop. As he stood up to climb into bed with Eliza a crying erupted from Philip and Eliza started to get out of bed. Alex quickly stopped her. "Hey, it's okay, I got him."
Eliza gives him a tired smile and rubbed her eyes before laying back down under the covers. "Thank you," she muttered under her breath as she began to fall back asleep.
Alex picked Philip up out of the bassinet and held him in his arms, rocking the infant to go back to sleep. Philip's crying soon stopped, the infant falling back into a deep sleep, Alex's mind couldn't help but wonder about the fear that he had felt before his son was born. The fear that had been so deeply instilled in him since he was ten. It seemed so silly now that his son was born, he knew he wasn't going to do the same thing his dad did, but he knew there would be other mistakes that he would make.
Sure, he was still going to have to email his father and tell him about his grandchild but for now, until that time was there, he was going to focus on his family.
Everything was going to be perfect.