Sonnet XVII I love you as the plant that never blooms I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."
-Pablo Neruda
Rebecca breathed in and out, slowly trying to get a grip on the rising sense of panic that flooded her chest. She was lying down, her hands curled on her chest and when she tried to move them outwards they met a hard resistance. Wood maybe? Or plastic? She tried to sit up and her forehead hit the same resistance. Darkness surrounded her like a hot blanket. Trapped. Fear paralyzed her and she felt bile rise in her throat. She forced herself to swallow and she breathed in and out erratically as her hands pounded on the walls surrounding her. She was not going to get out of this. She was never getting out of this box. Finally giving in to the overwhelming terror of the situation she opened her mouth and began to scream...
She sat up with a gasp and clutched the covers to her chest. Dream...it was just...a dream, she thought as her eyes grew accustomed to the soft glow of the nightlight by her bed. She knew she would be teased mercilessly if anyone knew, for using that crutch against darkness despite her twenty nine years of age, but she found that even after all this time, she couldn't sleep without it. Luckily for me, she thought to herself, I happen to be the only ensign in this department on the ship. Because of this, Lieutenant Harper had assigned her to her own barracks, and as small as it was, she loved it. She ran her fingers through her sweat drenched hair and leaned back against her pillow. She still couldn't believe she had so recently passed from the Starfleet Academy with top honors in most her classes. Exoarchaeology wasn't the most popular major, because really, who wanted to study Earth history and the history of other planets and races when they could study more exiting things, like astrophysics or probability mechanics? At least, that's what most of her classmates had said to her during her years at the Academy. If it hadn't been for Lea, she would have gone through the Academy with no friends at all. They had been in orbit for two weeks already, but she still had yet to see her, which was why she had scheduled to meet her friend for lunch the following day.
Rebecca pushed the covers away, and strode over to the single window in her room. She had really hoped to put the recurring nightmares behind her once she was out in space. She pulled the curtain back and gazed out into the fathomless stars. Aside from the privacy her room allowed, the view was her most favorite aspect of it. It symbolized what she had come from, what she had lost, and what she still strived to be. Ex Astris, Scientia; the motto of the Academy. From the stars, knowledge she mused while looking at the sky. I have come a long way, but I have still so much farther to go. She took a sip from a glass of water on her nightstand and padded back over to the bed, climbing back in and tried to get comfortable. Hopefully, this far away from her parents and their hurtful disappointment in her, she could be free to find herself and reach her true potential. From the stars, knowledge she thought again while drifting back into sleep. Damn right...