Hogwarts Scandals
Once upon a time, in the 5th year of Harry Potter's years at Hogwarts, there were two last minute transfer students. One, named Lottie, was sorted into Gryffindor, while the other, Brooke, was sorted into Slytherin. Both girls received many, many mating calls from each house (male and female), as they were both SOO good looking. But alas, the only mating calls that were well received were from hotties, so many ugly nerds were bashed to the floor and rushed to the hospital wing.
The next day it became known that Lottie was involved in a threesome with Marcus Flint and Blaise Zabini, while Brooke was in a serious relationship with Draco Malfoy. Pansy Parkinson had "mysteriously disappeared" *shifty eyes*, but no one exactly cared. Hogwarts had never been more awesome!
THE END
A/N:
"A delightful blend of sex and charm. A must-read."
- The Daily Prophet
"A Crumple-Horned Snorcack ate Pansy obviously – a bit bland really. Typically boring"
- Transfiguration Today