"Shit, I'm late.. I'm late I can never get anywhere on time because I take so long doing simple shit. Great." I have this conversation in my head when I get into my car and look at the time every single fucking day, yes I'm a curser. I use a lot of profanity in my mind, because who's listening anyway? I pick up my coffee and stare hopelessly out my windshield at the 7,500 cars in front of me. I'm in Fucking traffic. If only I would have straightened my hair last night and not this morning maybe just maybe I'd have made it out the house before the "everybody on their way to work and somebody can't drive and got us all in one spot" traffic. Sitting here just makes me hate humans even more. Yes I hate humans, I really hate humans with a passion. Humans do dumb things, all the time. And you know what's worse than the dumb things they do, they blame it on love and other shit like that. I wasn't always like this though.. People made me this way. A person made me this way. Ugh, just thinking of his name is causing my face to do that thing when you're totally disgusting because you just saw something disturbing. Yup I'm making that face right now because I am thinking about him. I'm always thinking about him, I can't stop thinking about him and it's been 10 years. Who is he you ask? Only the most beautiful, charming, gentlemen who's so freaking great in bed. Oh my gosh if he touched me right now I would literally throw myself at him.. Seriously like a basketball. He'd touch me then I'd be naked. Sorry, I got off topic a bit. I'm a rambler.. Okay he's beautiful and sexy and great and treats a woman very well, but he's an asshole, a jerk, a fucking idiot who broke my heart into a million pieces and I hate him. Seriously right now I could just stomp him in the head, shoot him in his pinky toe, I just want to hurt him so bad. I don't want him dead, I just want him to feel like I did, It's a normal feeling I guess, when someone breaks you you just want them broken. It sucks ass that I feel like this. I feel so stupid because today 10 fucking years later I am still in love with him. Me, Olivia Carolyn Pope I'm in love with Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the 3rd. I hate him so much, and yet I love him so much. Beats the hell out of me.