A/N: I wrote this in one of my boring college classes, just spur of the moment. Just something I thought House would do if he ever got the chance.
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The Answering Machine:
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As Cuddy got out of a her car she gave a tired sigh, "Today was a long day" thought Cuddy. Her legs barely got her to the door as she walked into the House clearly exhausted. She got through the front door before her cell phone rang, sighing she answered it.
"Yes James" asked Cuddy tiring to keep the exhaustion from her voice.
"Hey I just tried to call you in your home phone about a case but I figured it out don't worry but I think you should know something" said Wilson.
"What" asked Cuddy.
"Was House at your place yesterday" asked Wilson.
"Yes" said Cuddy confused, "He came over to ask for a ridiculous procedure that the patient didn't need, why?"
"Did you leave him unattended for any period of time" asked Wilson clearly trying to keep the amusement from your voice.
"For only 5 minutes I had to change out of my clothes" said Cuddy rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration, "what did he do?"
"Well…umm…..maybe you should….see for yourself" laughed Wilson, "Just check your answering machine."
"My answering machine" asked Cuddy slowly.
"Yup" said Wilson laughing, "See you at House's funeral, night!" The click of the end of phone brought Cuddy out of her trance.
Setting her purse down she walked over to her desk to stand right in front of the answering machine. Sighing she pushed the button to playback her recording instantly the voice of Gregory House filtered to her ears.
"Hello you reached the residence of Lisa Cuddy. She can't hear the phone ring over her screams of ecstasy as she experiencing earth shattering orgasms. She just got done doing a little number on Little Greg, she does this amazing little thing with her tongue….." House's voice filtered out for a second as Cuddy stared down at the answering machine in shock. "One of the pros of having sex with a doctor she knows all the little spots on a body that can cause anyone to go mad with pleasure. Momma Cuddy should be so proud that she raised Sex Machine….." The sound of a door shutting could be heard in the background, "Ohh…she is back for round 7, I think sex on the kitchen table sound appealing. Well when you see her walking funny the next couple days, you now know why…" and with that the machine ended.
Cuddy stared down at the machine in absolute shock, just then the answering machine started up again.
"You have one new message" said the answering machine, Cuddy groaned as she hoped to god it was from Wilson but fear ran through her body as her mother's voice rang through the air.
"Lisa Alexandra Cuddy, what is the meaning of this?" screeched the voice.
Cuddy groaned as her mother gave her a tounge lashing sitting down in her desk chair she groaned in frustration, "House I am going to kill you…" mumbled Cuddy.
As the sound of her mother screeching erupted from the machine Cuddy drifted off to sleep dreaming of different ways to torture and kill House.
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