Just a funny and fluffy hummelberry oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Blaine and Sam laughed together, walking toward the Bushwick loft. Sam and Blaine froze, eyes wide and leaning toward the door but not opening it. Shrieks and squeals could be heard on the other side of the door, along with a few victory cheers. The two of them shared a look. "What is going on in there?" Blaine demanded. Sam shrugged. The pair had only come over to borrow some sugar and flour for a new recipe Blaine wanted to try, and were weary of opening the door. The last time they did Kurt had cursed them out and slammed the door back in thier faces before rejoining Rachel on the sofa. The blonde model grasped the door handle and pulled. What they found, they weren't expecting.
The Bushwick loft was a war zone, but there was no sign of the two inhabitants. The kitchen/living room was a complete mess, eggs, whipped cream, and, was that string cheese? Assorted gooey and uncooked foods were spilled all over the floors, walls, cabinets, and anything else. "What went on in here?" Sam asked, eyes wide. Blaine himself was speechless.
A screech came from one of the back bedrooms, and Kurt tore out from behind the curtian. He skidded to a stop once he spotted Blaine and Sam, then glanced behind him. Blaine's ex-fiance and best friend was a complete mess. Eggs dripped down his face, flour turned him pale white, whiter than normal, whipped cream stained his clothing, and string cheese from an aersol can hung from his ears and lips, coating in his hair along with the whipped cream and eggs. His glasz eyes were wide and crazed, and he ducked behind Blaine as Rachel emerged from the back bedroom with a can of whipped cream and an egg. She was just as messy as Kurt. "Back off! Back, back!" Kurt shouted, wrapping one arm around Blaine's front and his other pointing an aersol can of string chedder cheese at her like a weapon. Blaine leaned into Kurt, the only comfortable position for him to be in without falling on his butt or being choked. Sam backed away, hands in the air in a surrendering gesture. Kurt stepped back, dragging Blaine with him like a personal sheild.
"Put the Warbler away, Kurt, and fight like a man!" Rachel commanded, pointing the can at her boyfriend's face and aiming to throw the egg like a grenade.
"Back off, Rachel. I've got string cheese and a Warbler, don't make me use them!" Kurt retorted, taking another step back. "Sorry about this, Blaine. But desperate times call for desperate measures!" Kurt hissed in the tenor's ear, so low that Rachel couldn't hear. "You're not gonna bring the poor Warbler into this, are you Rach? What did poor Blainey do to you?" Kurt asked, zeroing in his gaze back to his girlfriend.
"Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good, Kurtie." Rachel replied, advancing like a preadetor to her prey. Kurt stepped hastily backwards, jerking the aeresol can in her direction and his eyes narrowing with alarm and apprehension. Sam, meanwhile, was trying to keep his laughter in check. "I'm sure Blainey will understand, won't you Blainey?"
"No, not really!" Blaine yelped, wondering why he didn't just go to the store or what he had done in some past life to deserve this.
"Don't do it, Rach." Kurt threatened, his trigger finger itching to press down and shoot. "You'll regret it. Don't."
"Can't be any worse than what's already coming to me." Rachel replied. She then locked eyes with Blaine. "Sorry about this, Blainey."
"What? No!" Blaince shrieked as Rachel let the egg fly. "Not my hair! Cease fire, cease fire!" The egg landed square on Blaine's head, splattering across his gelled back curls and even a little on Kurt's cheek. Kurt shoved Blaine in the line of fire and took off running, out of the loft. "AAHH!" The ex-Warbler screamed and whipped cream got all over his jacket and face.
"COWARD!" Rachel screamed after Kurt, but the countertenor was already gone. Blaine gave her a Seriously? look, gesturing to his egged and whip-creamed appearence. "Don't look at me, Kurt started it." Rachel told him, crossing her arms. "What are you guys doing here anyway?"
"We wanted-" Sam began.
"Never mind, never mind. It's not important." Blaine interrupted quickly. "We'll see you tommorrow for the Monday night pot luck." With that, Blaine pushed the blonde out of the war-zoned apartment. Rachel just shrugged, then went into the bathroom to clean up, but took the whipped cream with her. Just in case.
Inspired by myhummelberryheart's Cookie. If you haven't read that, or any of her/his stories, go check it out!
Review please!