Title: Thirteen Reasons To Learn Another Language

Author: Writer With Sprite

Disclaimer: This is FANfiction. Case in point.

I hope you all enjoy!

Summary: Alex Rider's English assignment: thirteen reasons to learn another language.

Title: Thirteen Reasons to Learn Another Language

Author: Alex Rider

I'm really starting to like your unorthodox English assignments, Fox. You know, I'm really glad that you took over my English teacher's class. Otherwise I'd never have passed for the years. But seriously, did you get any sort of English degree at UNI? At least you know how to speak English, which I think is beyond Eagle's capabilities.

- transition -

13. It is good to learn another language in case a burglar who doesn't speak English breaks into your house. I actually had this happen to me once. You know how I can also speak Spanish and French and Russian? Well, I had this dude, right, break into my house. And he only spoke Russian. And he thought I didn't understand him. But I did… and I got it all on tape.

12. It is good to learn another language so that you can pass your foreign language class. I think my uncle is part of the reason why my GPA is holding up – I'm in three language classes.

11. It is good to learn another language in case you ever need to address an envelope in another language.

10. It is good to learn another language in case you are stranded in a forest with Eagle and you don't want to voice your opinions allowed in Eagle. By the way, Fox, next time I'm kidnapped, can you please not send Eagle out after me? I think I would have had an easier time rescuing myself. Some rescue mission!

9. You should learn another language to confuse your English teacher. Or maybe you shouldn't, you are making me do this assignment as extra credit, after all. Although I think it's because of your "extra credit" assignments that I'm going to pass…

8. It is good to learn another language so that when you are muttering to a desk lamp in the hallway, people will just ignore you because they can't understand you. No, this didn't happen to me. It happened to Tom Harris. Good thing I taught him a few words of Russian. Don't ask what they were.

7. It is good to learn another language because you will be able to be hired as a translator.

6. It is good to learn another language because you can make someone stare at you like you are not speaking English. Which technically you aren't.

5. Did you know you can delay Alzethimer's by ten years if you learn another language? That's what Joanna said.

4. You should learn another language to confuse Eagle. Sure, he knows Spanish. I don't buy it. He didn't understand a single thing I said. I know I was speaking in Russian, but really, shouldn't he like, be able to tell the difference?

3. You should learn another language to be able to annoy Wolf.

2. You should learn another language so that you can give out a homework assignment in another language.

1. You should learn another language so that you will be able to write in secret codes.

There, I finished your assignment. Are you happy now? And can you stop giving me these things? The words in your stupid prompts are in bold.

Thanks, maybe I'll pass English this quarter.

Alex Rider